When it was finally his turn, I couldn’t breathe. I watched him climb the stairs to the top of the platform and position at the end with the board tipped up waiting to go. He smiled down at me and I tried to smile back – I’m pretty sure my expression looked more like a grimace though. The whistle blew, and he tipped off. I squeezed my eyes shut, listening to the people clap and cheer, but I didn’t want to see. I knew that the minute I opened my eyes, he’d fall and break his neck.
After an hour, well, it felt like an hour anyway, it was probably only about a minute, people were clapping like crazy so I chanced opening my eyes. Johnny was walking down the stairs, no broken bones, no blood. I jumped up and clapped along with everyone else, deciding to pretend I’d watched. Next time I’d have to tell him I couldn’t come. I just wasted his spare ticket by not even watching it.
He jogged over and hugged me tight. “That was awesome!” I chirped enthusiastically.
He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah? Did it look good through your eyelids?” he asked, laughing harder.
I looked at him apologetically. “I’m so sorry! I couldn’t watch it, Johnny. I felt so sick. I was so scared, I just couldn’t,” I said apologetically.
He shook his head. “Don’t apologise, it’s fine. I landed it though,” he boasted, grinning wildly.
I nodded. “I know, I heard people cheering,” I said a little sheepishly. I felt incredibly guilty. He’d brought me here to watch and give him support and I couldn’t even do that. I guess I was a useless stepsister.
We sat back down and he gave me a play by play of everything that I’d missed while we waited for the scores and stuff to be counted. Johnny was one of the last to go on, so we didn’t have to wait too long before the results were announced. When the guy walked on the stage I gripped his hand nervously, praying he had been scored well.
“OK, so we had some excellent tricks today. The judges were very impressed, so congratulations,” the guy stated on the little platform. “Right so, in reverse order. Coming in third place with a score of forty-four points out of fifty, is…. Johnny Brice,” he called.
I squealed and jumped on him excitedly as he laughed. “Oh God, Johnny, that’s awesome! I’m so proud of you,” I enthused, almost crying.
He grinned. “Thanks, Amber. I’d better go get my trophy.” He nodded at the stage. I stood there cheering and clapping like an idiot while he went up and got his little silver trophy. He ran back and hugged me spinning me in a circle.
“Johnny, that’s so good. Let me see it.” I practically snatched it out of his hands and looked at the little silver trophy with a little man on a skateboard.
“I’m really pleased with forty-four points. That’s my best score.” He grinned, proudly.
“Hey, shall we go get something to eat to celebrate? My treat,” I suggested, happily.
“Sure. I just need to get changed first though; I can’t really go out like this.” He looked down at his ripped t-shirt, skater shorts and dirty sneakers, pulling a face.
Why the hell would he need to change? “Johnny, I don’t care what you wear,” I said honestly, as we started walking back to his car.
He laughed. “Amber, I look a mess. These are my competition clothes. I always wear the same thing; they’re like my lucky clothes. They’re all ripped and dirty. Besides, I’m all sweaty and stuff,” he countered, shrugging. We climbed into his car. “I’ll just nip home and change, and then we can go,” he said as he pulled out of the parking lot.
Oh shit! He wants me to go to his house? I started to feel sick. I couldn’t go, I didn’t want to see my father, I couldn’t. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to freak out. Liam wasn’t here so I didn’t want to have a full blown panic attack.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
He glanced at me, confused. “You can’t go to dinner?” he asked, looking at me like I was crazy, probably because it was my idea in the first place.
I shook my head. “I can’t go to your house, Johnny. Please, I can’t see him,” I begged as he continued to drive in the opposite direction to my house.
“Stephen?” he asked, frowning. I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat. My hands were shaking. I closed my eyes and thought of Liam, trying to stay calm. I thought of the colour of his eyes, how his hair felt when I ran my hands through it, the sound of his voice.
“You OK?” Johnny asked, sounding concerned.
I nodded weakly. “I don’t want to see him, Johnny,” I whispered, turning in my seat to look at him.
He was trying to watch the road and look at me at the same time. “Why not?” he asked quietly. I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it, especially not to him, that was his stepfather for goodness sake, he lived with him.
“I just don’t, please.” I begged him with my eyes.
He sighed and shook his head. “He’s not there anyway. He went away for the weekend with my mom and Matt. They’re not due back until late tonight,” he said.
He wasn’t there?
“Are you sure?” I asked, my body was starting to relax.
He nodded and smiled reassuringly. “Positive. They went to Mersey for the weekend to see my grandparents. They’re not getting back until like ten or something.”
I looked at him to make sure he wasn’t lying or trying to trick me or something. He looked like he was telling the truth. Johnny was a really nice guy, he wouldn’t do something like that to me, he wouldn’t lie. “OK,” I agreed quietly.
He smiled and looked back at the road. “So, do I get to know why you and Jake hate Stephen so much?” he asked curiously. I closed my eyes; I really didn’t want to have this conversation with him, with anyone. Even Kate didn’t know any details about my father and my childhood.
“Johnny, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s in the past, I prefer it to stay there,” I replied, praying that he would drop it.
He nodded, looking a little disappointed and sad. “OK. Well, if you ever need to talk to me about anything, you can. You know that, right?” he asked as he pulled onto a really nice looking street. I nodded looking out of the window; the houses were huge, with big expensive cars in the drives. He pulled in to a driveway and I glanced up at the huge pale blue house. It looked like my dad had certainly done well for himself.
“You sure he’s not here?” I asked nervously, as I got out and walked to Johnny’s side.
“I’m sure. The car’s not even here,” he confirmed, waving at the empty drive. I relaxed and followed behind Johnny closely, up to the house. I was barely able to breathe. As he opened the front door I gripped hold of the back of his t-shirt. He chuckled. “Amber, there’s no one here,” he assured me, shaking his head as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into the house. The house was gorgeous. “Want a drink?” he offered, leading me into the kitchen.
“Um, sure.” I looked around at all of the expensive ornaments and furniture. “You could fit my whole house into your lounge and kitchen,” I said, smiling.
He laughed. “This is house is nice, but it’s too big for just us. I don’t know why they had to buy such an expensive one.”
“What does my father do now then?” I asked curiously, as he handed me a can of Pepsi.
“Stocks and shares. He’s some big broker or something, I don’t really understand it. He makes a lot of money though,” he said casually.
He was still doing that then, that’s what he did when we were kids. I didn’t want to talk about him anymore; being in his house was freaking me out more than enough.
“So, you and Kate, huh?” I teased, trying to change the subject.
He blushed and nodded. “She’s nice,” he muttered nervously.
I grinned at his blush, he really was adorable. “She said you kissed her.” I raised my eyebrows excitedly, waiting for details. I’d had her version of the ‘perfect kiss’ now I wanted his.
He grinned. “Yeah, did she say if she liked it?” he asked, blushing harder.
Oh hell yeah she did! “Yeah, she liked it a lot,” I confirmed, waggling my eyebrows at him.
He laughed. “Well thank goodness for that.” He sounded so relieved that I couldn’t help but laugh too. “I was thinking about asking her out, properly, you know, being exclusive. Do you think she’d go for that?” he asked, looking at me hopefully.
I grinned at his worried face. “Hell yeah she’d go for that.” Kate really liked him, she would definitely be exclusive.
He laughed and messed up the back of his hair. “Awesome! Thanks, Amber.”
“Go get changed then and let’s go eat. I’m starved,” I instructed, nodding to the hallway.
“OK. I’ll be five minutes.”
I shrugged. “You can shower and stuff if you want, I don’t mind waiting.”
“Are you saying I smell?” he asked, laughing, as he made his way to the hall.
“Well, I was trying to be polite,” I joked. He laughed and skipped off up the stairs.
I sat down at the kitchen counter, happily drinking my Pepsi, playing with his trophy, when I heard the front door open and a lady talking. “No, I just need to give him some medicine and put him to bed,” she said.
I felt my breath catch in my throat.
“Well, he hasn’t stopped f**king crying,” my father snapped, sounding annoyed.
I jumped out of the chair so fast that I nearly fell over. I moved to the other side of the counter, needing to put something between us if he was coming in here. My heart was crashing in my chest. I couldn’t breathe properly. There was a door behind me; I grabbed the handle, desperately wanting to get away before he came in. I couldn’t see him; I couldn’t let him see me. Rattling the handle I quickly realised that the door was locked. I could feel the tears starting to prickle in my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Stephen. I’ll put him to bed in a minute, he’ll sleep it off,” the lady said quietly.
“He f**king better, he’s giving me a headache,” he growled angrily.
I rammed my hand into my pocket, grabbing my cellphone. Who I was planning on calling I don’t know. Liam and Jake were too far away, and Johnny was probably in the shower. There was no one, no help; I was alone in my horror. I turned around facing the door, waiting for him to come in. I felt sick. Oh God, was I actually going to throw up?
The lady walked in, carrying a whining little blond boy in her arms, stroking his back soothingly. Her eyes snapped to me and she jumped a mile, obviously not knowing I was in here. “Hi, sorry, I didn’t realise Johnny had friends over,” she said, smiling at me warmly. She was very pretty, brown hair and grey eyes, just like my mom’s and mine. I nodded, unable to talk.
“Johnny’s got friends over?” my father asked as he walked through the door.
I felt dizzy, my legs were weak, he looked almost exactly the same, just a little older, a little less hair and more greys. His eyes were hard and stern like they used to be, not like the photo that Johnny showed me. He hadn’t changed at all.
He looked at me, his eyes raking over every part of my body while I just stood there, unable to move, unable to breathe. I felt like I was a kid again. I was terrified, and this time I had no Jake to protect me. The man that ruined my childhood, my brothers childhood, was standing less than fifteen feet from me.
“Amber,” he said quietly. He smiled and I felt bile rise in my throat.