Suddenly, harsh hands pull me by the hair and the strands rip at the roots.
Ma’s manic blue eyes bore into mine. “Elsa! What did you give Eli? What did I tell you about not going to the basement?”
“M-Ma… Daddy is hurt.” I cry. “He’s hurt.”
“You’ll end up like him if you don’t do as I say.” She drags me behind her.
“Daddy! Daddy!” I screech and wail in her hold.
“A-Abby…” he breathes, his face pale and lifeless — like Eli’s. “Leave her alone. She didn’t do anything.”
“She gave Eli chocolate when it’s bad for his health! That’s why he wouldn’t wake up,” she snarls. “Don’t worry, Ethan, I’ll make her a good girl.”
“Abby…” Dad holds out his hand in my direction. It’s all red. So, so red.
I reach out my hand to him as well, struggling against Ma. “Daddy!”
“L-Leave her… Abby…”
She smiles even though her face is full of tears. “We’ll be right back, honey. Love you.”
Ma drags me behind her. I struggle against her hold, fighting and crying. Them monsters in Ma’s eyes are laughing at me. They’re going to take Daddy just like they took Eli.
Then, they’re going to come back for me.
“Now, Elsa.” Ma’s grip tightens around my hair. “We’re going to fix Eli, okay?”
“Daddy!” I cry, my voice is so thick, it’s hoarse.
If I lose Daddy like I lost Eli, I won’t be able to stay here anymore. I can’t stay with Ma and them monsters in her eyes.
She hauls me down the stairs towards the basement. My feet shake the longer we walk down.
The door swings against the wall as she kicks it open. My feet turn into stones.
Grey Eyes.
There’s a large patch of red on the back of his shirt. He faces the wall and he’s not moving.
Why isn’t he moving?
“Wake up!” I shriek. “You have to escape them monsters in Ma’s eyes.”
He doesn’t even stir.
“Eli, your sister is here.” Ma coos in a soft voice, reaching into her dress’s pocket and retrieving a set of keys. “Come on, baby, let’s go outside. You love it outside.”
I stare at the keys in Ma’s hands and then back to Grey Eyes.
“Eli, if you don’t wake up, Ma is going to be mad, okay?” Her voice hardens, eyes darting back and forth.
“I’ll wake him up.” I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hands. “Give me the keys and I’ll wake him.”
“Very well, darling.” She places the keys in my hands. “You’re such a good girl. Daddy’s girl. I was Daddy’s girl, too.”
I don’t listen to her. As soon as I have the keys, I jog to the boy who added colours to my days and free the cuff at his ankle. His skin is covered in red like his back.
“Grey Eyes.” Big fat tears fall on his pale face as I clutch his cheeks. “Grey Eyes, please… You… You promised…”
Why does everyone keep breaking their promises? First Eli, then Dad, and now him.
His skin is on fire. Sweat beads down his forehead and brows.
“Are you done yet?” Ma asks from the entrance, her voice growing impatient. It’s bad if Ma loses her patience. She’ll let them monsters do as they like.
“Please… Please…” I stroke his black hair back. It’s sweaty and damp.
He stirs, his eyes slowly fluttering open. Blinking twice, he mutters, “Elsa?”
“Yes, it’s me!” I grab him by the arm. “Come on, we have to go.”
He staggers to his feet, slightly leaning on me.
We slowly reach my ma. She watches us with a serene look on her face. “My babies.”
Aiden glares up at her even though he only reaches her waist.
“Go first, Eli.” I smile at him. “Ma and I will follow. Right, Ma?”
She nods slowly.
He stares at me and hisses, “What are you doing? We have to leave the red woman. She has a gun.”
“Go, Eli!” I push him towards the entrance.
“No.” He digs his fingers into my arm. “We’ll go together.”
“I’ll meet you outside,” I murmur. “Once you get help, I’ll find you.”
“Elsa…” His expression is pained, and the plea in his voice almost makes me cry.
I don’t.
I have to be strong.
“Remember.” I grin. “You promised you’ll marry me.”
When he doesn’t move, I push him out and slam the door shut behind him.
My chest heaves, rising and falling so fast as I lean against the door. A bang comes from the other side, then another and another.
He’s trying to come back inside, but I won’t let him. I won’t let them monsters take him away.
I’ll protect him.
Ma frowns, fingering her gun. “What are you doing? Let’s follow your brother.”
“He’s not my brother, Ma. Eli went to heaven.”
Her face contorts, nostrils flaring. “I told you not to say his name.”
“Eli! Eli! Eli!” I scream. “His name is Eli, Ma! And I want to say his name. I want to talk about him. I want to —”
I hear the bang before I can feel it.
The pain goes through my body all of a sudden like fireworks. It’s burning me on the inside.
“M-Ma…”
She’s pointing the gun at me, her face filled with tears. They fall down her beautiful dress as I drop to the floor.
My bones feel like they’re crushing beneath me.
“Elsa… B-baby… I’m so sorry, Ma is s-so sorry. Oh, God! Oh, God! What have I done?” She crouches beside me. The gun hits the floor as she presses her hands over my chest.
Blood flows from between my lips and I taste metal as she becomes a blur.
The pain takes me over and seeps under my skin. It hurts, but maybe it’s fine now. Because them monsters are gone from Ma’s eyes. They disappeared, giving me back my ma.
She’s crying loudly as she fumbles over me, pressing her hands and tearing her dress to cover my chest.
“DAAA!” She screams, her voice hysterical. “It’s all because of you, Da. You made me like this. You killed me.”
“M-Ma…”
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry. Everything is going to be all right…” Still pressing a hand over my wound, she retrieves the gun and puts it under her chin. “Ma is coming, baby. Ma will make it all right, Eli.”
And then she pulls the trigger.
Aiden
Present
I wrap my arms around Elsa as she cries softly into my chest.
She’s been crying for such a long time. When I think no more tears will come, out a new wave hits her and she succumbs to it all over again.
I knew there would be repercussions when she remembers her past.
That day was the darkest day of her life. She lost both her parents and a large chunk of herself.
Back then, I thought she was gone, too.
I thought it was all over.
The memory of that time when I no longer heard her voice has been a constant part of my nightmares.
It’s even worse than the red woman and her torture.
When you have a light in the middle of the darkness and that light dims to nothing, it fucks you up.
That’s why my world became black after that.
I stroke her shoulder as she weeps quietly. My hand glides over the curve of her throat and stop at her pulse. Her beating, throbbing pulse. It’s a constant reminder that she’s alive, not dead.
Her scar is proof she doesn’t have that gush in her chest. Her bright blond hair isn’t soaked in red like when she lay there lifeless.
That’s why I’m obsessed with those three parts of her.
I gather her close to me and her body trembles.
I’m ready to do anything to stop her from crying and hanging on to pieces from the past. However, having her hold on to me as if I’m her lifeline stirs the beast inside me.
For the rest of our lives, I want to be the only one who witnesses her breaking and support her through the storm. I want to be the one who soothes her ache when she needs soothing. The one who wipes her tears when they need wiping. The one who lifts her up when she needs lifting.
I want to be there for her, full stop.
She’s mine. Fucking mine.
It’s not only her body or her heart that I’m interested in, I want her entire soul so she’ll never be able to leave me.
Some would argue this isn’t the right thing, but fuck the right thing.
Elsa and I didn’t meet under the right circumstances. We just met, and then we re-met, and then we became inseparable.