“Thank you.” My gratitude came out equal parts grudging and sincere. “For…you know.” I gestured at my stomach.
I waited for Josh to gloat over my thanks—the first I’d ever given him—but he responded with a simple, “You’re welcome.”
Silence hummed between us. I pushed a lock of hair behind my ear, suddenly self-conscious. I was bloated as hell from my period, and I must look like a mess with my face all groggy and my hair mussed from sleep.
Instead of looking away, Josh stared at me with an intensity that burrowed beneath my skin and kindled a fire low in my stomach, similar to the one that’d burned through me before I fell asleep last night.
I’d been floating on the verge of unconsciousness, but the combination of his strong hands, warm eyes, and the relief over my eased pain had sent my fantasies traveling down untrodden paths. Fantasies of what his touch would feel like on other parts of my body and whether his tongue was as talented as his hands…
A knock startled me out of my inappropriate musings.
Josh and I tore our eyes away from each other. The visible tension in his shoulders matched the rigidity of my muscles. We weren’t doing anything inappropriate, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like a kid whose hand was caught in the cookie jar when Ava’s voice floated through the thick oak door.
“You guys up? Breakfast ends in half an hour.”
My gaze shot to the clock on the wall. Shit. We’d slept in later than I thought.
“Yeah,” I said. “We’ll be right out.”
Josh and I didn’t speak again while we got ready. There was no way I was skiing today, so I pulled on a pair of soft yoga pants and an oversized sweater. When I was on my period, my desire to dress up plummeted to zero.
“How are you feeling?” Ava asked as we walked to breakfast.
“Much better.” Thanks to your brother. “Thanks, babe.”
She looped her arm through mine. “How do you feel about hitting the spa after breakfast instead of skiing? We have that gift card we still need to use.”
Oh, thank fucking God. “Ava,” I said. “Don’t tell Alex, but you’re the real genius in the relationship.”
She laughed.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur, with Alex and Josh skiing and me and Ava enjoying the spa’s massage and facial services. But even though my massage therapist was professionally trained, she didn’t hit the spot the way Josh had.
“A little to the left, please…to the right…just a bit harder…” I tried my best to pinpoint what was off about my session.
“Like this?” The therapist followed my instructions to a tee, but it still didn’t compare to Josh’s touch. “How does this feel?”
“Great,” I mumbled, giving up. “Thank you.”
Maybe it was the oil Josh used. It smelled better than the floral ones at the spa.
By the time Ava and I met up with the guys for lunch, I was more irritated than relaxed by my constant thoughts of a certain doctor.
I wouldn’t put it past him to mix some sort of sex potion with the massage oil before he used it on me. That was the only plausible explanation for why I kept thinking about him.
There had to be a catch for why he’d been so nice.
“How was the spa?” Alex rested his hand on the back of Ava’s chair and brushed his lips over her cheek.
“It was great.” She smiled, her face glowing with so much love it made my chest ache. “How was skiing? Did you guys do the triple black again?”
“Yes,” Josh said at the same time Alex replied, “No. I went snowboarding.”
“Oh.” Ava’s eyes darted between them. “Okay.”
Awkward as fuck.
We settled into silence as we flipped through our menus. Josh sat next to me, and every time either of us moved, our legs brushed against each other.
Signature burger, pan-roasted salmon…
His pants wisped over my calves. I set my jaw and tried to focus. Pan-roasted salmon with fennel salad…
He reached for his glass, his shirt sleeve grazing my hand as he did so.
I yanked my arm back and stared determinedly at the list of entrees. Pan-roasted salmon with fennel salad…
When our server appeared, bright-eyed and perky, I’d read the same dish description a dozen times.
“I’ll have the salmon,” I muttered after everyone placed their orders. “Thanks.”
I hated salmon.
I glared at Josh. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t distracted me, I would’ve been able to get through the rest of the menu and order something I wanted.
His eyebrows rose. “Back in fighting form, I see,” he said while Alex and Ava talked quietly across from us. “I missed that look of irritation on your face. It’s like a balm to my soul.”
“That’s because you’re used to seeing it on everyone who comes into contact with you.”
Slipping into an argument with Josh was like slipping into old pair of jeans, comforting and familiar.
Josh’s cheek dimpled. “Nah. Just you, Red. Everyone else loves me.”
“I guarantee that’s not true.”
My phone lit up with a new text. I picked it up, eager for a distraction, but my brows pulled together when I read the message.
Unknown: Hey Jules
The area code indicated an Ohio phone number.
Everything around me disappeared while a loud buzzing filled my ears. I typed out my answer with shaking fingers.
Me: Who is this?
Hope, fear, and anticipation curdled in my stomach. Maybe it’s my mom…
An eternity passed in the ten seconds it took for the reply to pop up, but when it did, I almost dropped my phone in shock.
Unknown: It’s Max
Max. My ex-boyfriend. How did he get my number? Why was he contacting me now after seven years of radio silence?
There was only one reason, and the prospect made bile rise in my throat.
Max: We need to talk.
I shoved my phone in my bag. Cold sweat slicked my palms, and I wiped them against my thighs in an attempt to gather myself.
“Hey.”
My head jerked up at the sound of Josh’s voice.
He leaned forward, his brow puckered with what would’ve passed for concern had it been anyone else.
“Who was that? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” His eyes flitted to my bag, where my phone burned a hole through the leather.
I wasn’t answering Max. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to know what he had to say. Maybe if I ignored him, he’d disappear for another seven years.
Forget diamonds; denial was a girl’s best friend.
“No one. Just spam,” I lied.
Josh didn’t bring up the issue again, but the weight of his stare pressed down on me for the rest of the meal.
I lifted a forkful of salmon to my mouth and chewed. It tasted like cardboard.
I bet Max still had the tape. He’d been sitting on it for years. What if he decided it was finally time for him to cash in on the blackmail material? What if I couldn’t meet his demands?
If he released the tape, it would ruin my career before it began. Everything I’d worked so hard for, down the drain in an instant.
My stomach ached, and it wasn’t just from my cramps.
I’m going to be sick.
I shoved my chair back and ran to the bathroom, ignoring my friends’ startled glances. I made it into a stall just in time for my lunch to reappear. Even after I threw up everything I ate, I dry heaved until my throat was raw.
I thought I’d escaped my past, but at the end of the day, our demons always caught up with us.
JULES
Max didn’t contactme again after his initial texts. I was the one who’d ignored him first, but his silence festered until I was a mess of anxiety by the time I boarded my flight back to D.C.
I’d used my period as an excuse for why I ran out of lunch so suddenly, and no one questioned it, though Josh’s skepticism had been so thick it was tangible. I’d ignored it; I had bigger issues to worry about than whatever he thought of me.
I tapped my pen against my desk and stared at the screen before me. I was finally working on LHAC’s main floor after my desk arrived yesterday, and I could hear the shuffling of papers from Ellie’s desk behind me, the faint flush of the toilet from the bathroom down the hall, and the jangle of the bells above the front door every time it opened. It was more chaotic than working alone in the kitchen, but I thrived with background noise.
Unless, of course, I was distracted by other things.
My eyes strayed to my phone. It sat dark and silent next to my mug of pens, but that didn’t stop me from holding my breath like it was going to light up with a new message from Max any minute.
I should just call him and get it over with, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave my cycle of half miserable, half blissful ignorance.
Focus.
I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. I’d just started typing again when Ellie squealed behind me.
“Josh! I didn’t know you were coming in today.”
“Hey, El.” Josh’s deep, flirtatious drawl raised my hackles. “New haircut?”
Surprised flattery filled her giggle. “Yep. I can’t believe you noticed.”