Adrenaline pumped in my veins, fueled by the wind whipping against my face and the cold air stealing into my lungs. My heart was a wild animal uncaged, my senses sharpened blades that picked up on every detail of the world around me—the flecks of snow spraying up at me, the whistle of the wind and the quiet roar of my heart, every bump and ridge as I tore down my first triple black diamond.
A black-clad figure whizzed by me.
Alex.
My face split into a grin as my competitiveness kicked up another notch. I drove pressure onto the tip of my outside ski and blew past him.
I thought I heard Alex laugh behind me, but the wind carried the sound away before it fully reached my ears.
I made a tight turn around a jutting rock, then another hairpin turn to follow the path of the run. Most people would freak out going this fast on a triple black, but for me, nothing beat the rush of escaping death by the skin of my teeth.
Between Ava’s near-drowning, my mom’s suicide, and the people I saved—and couldn’t save—in the emergency room, Death and I were old acquaintances. I hated the bastard, and every time I survived one of my escapades, it was a metaphorical fuck you to the reaper.
One of these days, he would catch me as he did everyone else. But not today.
More turns. More obstacles that, if I were a less experienced skier, would’ve landed me in the ER as a patient instead of a doctor. I took each one as they came, never slowing down, though I didn’t go quite as fast as I would on a normal slope.
Alex and I kept roughly the same pace until the end, when I beat him to the bottom of the trail by less than five seconds.
Satisfaction filled my lungs. “Looks like drinks are on you this weekend.” I pushed my goggles back up my head, my chest heaving with exertion. “Good thing you’re a billionaire with a b, because I’m asking the bartender for the most expensive drink they serve. Every time.”
“Not yet.” Alex narrowed his eyes. It was always hilarious seeing his reaction when he lost because it happened so infrequently. “Best out of three.”
“Changing the rules after the fact.” I tsked in disappointment. “You’re a sore fucking loser, Volkov.”
“I don’t lose.”
“What do you call what just happened?” I gestured at the steep, winding trail behind us.
Rare mischief gleamed in his eyes. “Alternative winning.”
“Oh, fuck off with that bullshit.” But I couldn’t help laughing.
Since I wasn’t one to ever turn down a challenge, I agreed to the best of three, though I regretted it when Alex beat me by a minute on the second run.
The third run was even closer than our first. We were literally neck to neck until the last second, when I pulled ahead by a hair.
A smug grin bloomed on my face, and I opened my mouth before Alex cut me off.
“Don’t say a word,” he warned.
“Wasn’t going to.” My expression said it all.
“Don’t feel bad.” I clapped him on the back as we walked back to the lodge for dinner. “There’s no shame in alternative winning. Just ask any silver medalist.”
“I don’t feel bad. If I do, I’ll just buy myself a gold medal. Twenty-four karats, Cartier.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Always.”
I shook my head with a laugh. I hadn’t hung out with Alex in so long I’d forgotten how fucked up his sense of humor was, though I was one of the few people who even considered it humor. Most people chalked his deadpan deliveries up to him being a dick, which…well, fair enough. Ava used to call him a robot—
My smile disappeared.
Ava. Michael. Kidnapping and secrets and thousands of lies that tainted every memory of our friendship.
That afternoon had been our closest to normal in a long time, and I’d almost forgotten why Alex and I were no longer friends.
Almost.
Alex must’ve picked up on the shift in atmosphere because his smile faded alongside mine and his jaw visibly tightened.
Tension descended like an iron curtain between us.
I wished I could forget what happened and start over. I had plenty of friends, but I’d only ever had one best friend, and sometimes I missed him so damn much it hurt.
But I wasn’t the same person I was two years ago, and neither was Alex. I didn’t know how to move on no matter how much I wanted to. Every time I made progress, the yoke of the past yanked me back like a jealous mistress.
And yet, our ski competition proved Alex and I could act normal around each other even when Ava wasn’t there. It wasn’t enough, but it was a start.
“I had a good time today,” I said stiffly, testing the waters for myself as much as for Alex.
A beat passed before he responded. I’d surprised him again. Twice in one day—that had to be a record. “I did too.”
We didn’t speak again after that.
JOSH
Jules wasabsent again at dinner, but since I didn’t want to invite any further questions from Alex about why I was so concerned about Jules—which I wasn’t; I was merely curious—I waited until we returned to our cabin before grilling Ava.
“What’s wrong with JR?” I kept my voice low.
Alex had disappeared into their bathroom for a shower, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had supersonic hearing.
Ava chewed on her lower lip
“Ava.” I pinned her with a stern stare. “If she’s going to die on me in the middle of the night, I need to know so I can plan my sleep accordingly.”
“Funny.” She glanced at the closed door. “Okay, I’m only telling you because you’re a doctor. Also, because it got worse this afternoon but she’s too stubborn to ask for help.”
My earlier seed of worry blossomed into a full fucking tree, leaves and all. “What got worse?”
My sister hesitated before saying, “Jules has really…painful periods. Beyond regular cramps. The pain usually goes away after a day or so, but during that day…”
“It’s unbearable,” I finished. A hard knot formed in my chest. “Endometriosis?”
Most women experienced primary dysmenorrhea, or common menstrual cramps. Secondary dysmenorrhea, such as endometriosis, was the result of reproductive organ issues and was usually far more excruciating.
Ava shook her head. “I don’t think so, but I don’t want to speak for Jules. She doesn’t like talking about it.”
“Understood.”
There was a societal stigma regarding periods, and a lot of people, men and women alike, were uncomfortable discussing them.
After years of med school and residency, I had no problem discussing any bodily function, but I wouldn’t bring something up if the other person didn’t want to talk about it.
“Lay off the insults tonight, all right?” Ava gave me a pointed stare. “She’s not in the mood.”
“I’m not a monster, little sis.” I ruffled her hair, earning myself a scowl. “Don’t worry.”
After Ava turned in for the night, I stopped outside my room and rapped my knuckles against the door in case Jules was indecent. No answer.
I waited another beat before I opened the door with a quiet creak. The lamp was on, and I immediately zeroed in on Jules’s curled-up form. She lay in a fetal position on her side, hugging a pillow to her stomach. I couldn’t see her face, but I saw her stiffen at my entrance.
Still awake.
“Hey,” I said softly. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Just a stomachache,” she mumbled.
I closed the distance between us until we were face to face, and my chest pinched again when I noticed her shallow breaths and the white-knuckled grip strangling her pillow.
“Did you take any ibuprofen? I have some.” I always carried a mini first aid kit with bandages, painkillers, and other essentials.
“Yep.” Jules peered up at me with a scrunched brow. “Ava told you, didn’t she?”
“Yeah.” There was no point in lying.
She groaned. “I should’ve told her not to say anything.”
“Pretty sure I would’ve noticed something was wrong when I saw you curled up like a deformed shrimp.”
It didn’t count as an insult if I was trying to make her feel better. It gave her the perfect opportunity to snark back, and arguing with me always perked her up.
My smile faded when she didn’t respond.
Okay, maybe the deformed shrimp comment wasn’t as helpful as I thought.
ShouldI try to help her, or should I leave her alone? There wasn’t a foolproof method for alleviating severe cramps, and she’d already taken ibuprofen, but there were other remedies that might help.
The question was whether or not she wanted my help.
I made up my mind when Jules winced and clutched her pillow closer to her abdomen, her face screwed with pain.
Fuck it. I was helping her whether she liked it or not. It wasn’t like I could sleep next to her knowing she was in agony. I wasn’t that much of an asshole.
I walked into the bathroom and scanned the amenities lined up on the marble counter. When we dropped off our luggage, I could’ve sworn I saw—aha. I picked up the tiny bottle of lavender oil and returned to Jules’s side.
“I might be able to help with the cramps,” I said. “Turn over.”
“Why?”
“Trust me.” I held up my free hand when she opened her mouth. “Yes, I know. You don’t trust me. But I am a trained medical professional, and I promise I don’t have nefarious intentions. So unless you want to toss and turn all night…”