I looked around my office. But I was a man. I didn’t keep a box of tissues handy. “Here,” I said, maneuvering us toward the couch where my gym bag sat. I yanked a t-shirt out of it and used it to mop up the tears that were ripping me to shreds inside. The fact that she let me made them a little easier to handle.
“Knox?”
“Yeah, Daze?”
“I hope someday you meet the woman who makes it all worth it.”
I nudged her chin up. “Baby, I don’t think you get it. If it wasn’t you and Way, it’s never gonna be anybody.”
“That’s really sweet and really messed up at the same time,” she whispered.
“I know.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“Thanks for listening.”
I felt…different. Lighter somehow, as if I’d managed to throw open my own curtains or some shit like that.
“We good?” I asked, threading my fingers through her hair and tucking it behind her ears. “Or do you still hate me?”
“Well, I hate you a whole lot less than when I started my shift.”
My lips quirked. “Does this mean you’d be willing to stay on? Customers love you. Staff loves you. And the boss is pretty damn fond of you.”
I was more than fond of her. Holding her like this. Talking to her like this. Something was happening in my chest, and it felt like fireworks.
She pressed her lips together and brought her hands to my chest. “Knox,” she said.
I shook my head. “I know. It’s not fair to ask you to hang around when I can’t be what you deserve.”
“I don’t think my heart is safe around you.”
“Naomi, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
She closed her eyes. “I know that. I get it. But I don’t know how to protect myself from the hope.”
I nudged her chin up. “Look at me.”
She did as I told her.
“Talk.”
She rolled her eyes. “I mean, look at us, Knox. We both know this is going nowhere, yet we’re still literally entwined.”
God, I loved that fancy vocabulary of hers.
“I’ll be able to remind myself for a while that you can’t be with me. But sooner or later, I’m going to start forgetting. Because you’re you. And you want to take care of everybody and everything. You’ll buy Waylay a dress that she loves. Or my mom will talk you into golfing with her on the weekends. Or you’ll bring me coffee when I most need it again. Or you’ll punch my ex in the face again. And I’ll forget. And I’ll fall all over again.”
“What do you want me to do?” I asked, gathering her against me again. “I can’t be who you want me to be. But I can’t let you go.”
She cupped a hand to my cheek and stared up at me with something that looked a hell of a lot like love. “Unfortunately, Viking, those are your only two choices. Someone once told me in this very room that it doesn’t matter how shitty the options are. It’s still a choice.”
“I think that guy also told you that there’s a man out there who knew on his best day he was never gonna be good enough for you.”
She gave me a squeeze and then started to slide out of my grip. “I need to get back out there.”
It went against every instinct I had to let her go, but I did it anyway.
I felt strange. Open, exposed, raw. But also better. She’d forgiven me. I’d shown her who I really was, what I came from, and she’d accepted it all.
“Any chance I could get my dog back?” I asked.
She gave me a sad smile. “That’s between you and Waylay. I think maybe she could use an apology from you too. She’s with Liza tonight.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Naomi?”
She stopped at the door and looked back.
“Do you think if we would have carried on…I mean. If we hadn’t called it off, is it possible that you would have…” I couldn’t get the words out. They clogged my throat and closed it up.
“Yeah,” she said with a sad smile that had my insides churning.
“Yeah, what?” I pressed.
“I would have loved you.”
“How do you know?” I demanded, my voice a rasp.
“Because I already do, dummy.”
And with that, she walked out of my office.
TINA SUCKS
Naomi
Iwent straight to the restroom to repair my face. Knox Morgan sure did a number on a woman’s makeup. After I cleaned up the sad clown face and reapplied my lipstick, I gave my reflection a long, hard look.
The tiny shards of my broken heart were now ground into a fine dust thanks to Knox’s confession.
“No wonder,” I whispered to my reflection.
There were things a person never got over. We both just wanted someone to love us enough to make up for all the times we hadn’t been enough. It felt like such a waste that we could feel the way we did, but neither of us could be that person for the other.
I couldn’t make Knox love me enough, and the sooner I got over that, the better. Maybe someday we could be friends. If I won the custody hearing, and if Waylay and I decided to make Knockemout our permanent home.
Thinking of Waylay, I dug my phone out of my apron to check my messages. Earlier this week, I’d approved a messaging app for her laptop so she could text me if she needed to. In return, she’d downloaded a GIF keyboard on my phone so we could exchange GIFs throughout the day.
“Oh, great,” I groaned when I saw the dozen new texts.
Silver: Nice undies.
Max: This better mean you guys are making up!!!!
Mom: Six flame emojis.
Fi: We’re covering your tables so feel free to have as many orgasms in Knoxy’s office as you need.
Sloane: Lina just texted (along with nine other people at the bar). Did that son of a bitch really carry you off like he was a caveman? I hope you rearranged his face and his balls.
Waylay: Aunt Naomi, I’m in trouble.
The breath in my lungs froze when I read the last text. She’d sent it fifteen minutes ago. With shaking hands, I fired off a response as I rushed out of the restroom.
Me: Are you okay? What’s wrong?
There were a lot of reasons an eleven-year-old could think they were in trouble, I rationalized. It didn’t mean there was an actual emergency. Maybe she forgot her math homework. Maybe she accidentally broke Liza’s favorite garden cherub. Maybe she’d gotten her period.
I also had three missed calls in the last five minutes from an Unknown number. Something was wrong.
I headed for the kitchen and scrolled through my contacts for Liza’s number.
“Everything okay, Naomi?” Milford asked as I hustled for the parking lot.
“Yeah. I think so. Just have to make a quick call,” I said before pushing through the exterior door into the cold night air.
I was getting ready to hit Call when headlights from a car blinded me. I held up my hand to block the light and stepped back.
“Naomi.”
My arms dropped limply to my side. I knew that voice.
“Tina?”
My twin sister leaned out the driver’s side window. I felt like I was looking in the mirror again. A fun house mirror. Her formerly bleached hair was now a dark brown and cut short in a style similar to mine. Our eyes were the same hazel. The differences were subtle. She was wearing a cheap fake leather jacket. She had multiple earrings in both ears. Her eyeliner was thick and blue.
But she looked as worried as I felt.
“He’s got Waylay! He took her,” she said.
My stomach dropped, and a wave of nausea crested as every muscle in my body tightened. “What? Who took her? Where is she?”
“It’s all my fault,” Tina wailed. “We need to go. You have to help me. I know where he took her.”
“We should call the police,” I said, remembering I had a phone in my hand.
“Call ’em on the way. We gotta move fast,” she said. “Come on.”
Operating on autopilot, I opened the passenger door and climbed in. I was reaching for my seatbelt when something furry clamped over my wrist.
“What are you doing?” I shrieked.
Tina grabbed my other arm, her fingernails digging into my wrist. I tried to pull away but wasn’t quick enough. She snapped the other cuff in place.
“For the smart one, you sure are stupid,” she said, lighting a cigarette.
My evil twin had just handcuffed me to the dashboard with furry sex cuffs.
“Where’s Waylay?”
“Relax.” She blew a stream of smoke in my direction. “The kid’s fine. You will be too if you cooperate.”
“Cooperate how? With who?” I yanked against the cuffs.
She let out a cackle as she pulled out of the parking lot. “Pretty funny, right? Found those in a box of sex toys in my old asshole landlord’s storage unit.”
“Gross!” I was going to need to scrub myself with bleach when this was over.
My phone was face down on the floor. If I could get to it, I could call someone. I yanked on the cuffs again, yelping when they bit into my skin.