When Naomi started for a table near the window, I steered her to a booth in the back. Public, but not too public.
“So I made a list for Nash,” she said, pulling a piece of paper out of her purse and smoothing it out on the table. Blissfully unaware of what I was about to do.
My brother’s name caught me off guard. “A list of what?” I demanded.
“Of the dates that I think Tina could have broken into the cottage and of any suspicious people I could remember. There’s not much there, and I don’t know how it’s going to help. But he said it would help if I could at least narrow down the timing of the earlier break-in,” she said, picking up a menu.
“I’ll pass it on to him,” I said, wishing for a stiff drink.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, cocking her head to study me. “You look tired.”
“Daze, we gotta talk.” The words were choking me. My skin felt too tight. Everything felt wrong.
“Since when do you feel like stringing words together?” she teased.
She trusted me. The thought made me feel like dog shit. Here she was, thinking her boyfriend was treating her to lunch in the middle of the day. But I’d warned her, hadn’t I? I’d told her not to let herself get too close to me.
“Things have gotten…complicated,” I said.
“Look, I know you’re worried about the break-in,” Naomi said. “But I think when the new security system goes in, it will be a load off our minds. Warner is back home, so if it was him throwing some destructive temper tantrum, he’s too far away to do it again. And if it was Tina, the odds are she either found what she was looking for or realized I don’t have it. You don’t need to worry about me and Way.”
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I just needed to get the words out.
She reached across the table and squeezed my wrist. “By the way, I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re here. And you’re helping. It makes me feel like I’m not alone. Like maybe for the first time ever, I don’t have to be completely responsible for every single thing. Thank you for that, Knox.”
I closed my eyes and tried not to throw up.
“Look. Like I said.” I had to grit my teeth to get through it. “Things are complicated, and part of that’s on me.”
She looked up and frowned. “Are you okay? You look tired.”
I was fucking exhausted. And full of self-loathing.
“I’m fine,” I insisted. “But I think it’s time to move on.”
Got yourself a girl?The words echoed in my mind.
Her hand stilled on my arm. “Move on?”
“I’ve had a good time. I hope you have too. But we need to stop this thing before one of us gets too attached.”
She stared at me, those hazel eyes stunned and unblinking.
Fuck.
“You mean me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I mean what we’re doing is…” Scaring the shit out of me. “This thing between us has run its course.” Because I can’t trust myself with you, I thought.
“You brought me here to a public place to break up with me? Unbelievable.”
Her hand was gone now, and I knew I’d never feel it again. I didn’t know what had the power to break me faster, knowing that or knowing what would happen if I didn’t end this now.
“Look, Naomi, we both knew the score when we started this. I just think before one of us gets in over their head, we need to pull back.”
“I’m such an idiot,” she whispered, bringing her fingertips to her temples.
“I know you’ve got the custody hearing coming up next month, and I’m willing to still keep up the appearance that we’re together, if you think it’ll help you in court. And I’m still gonna be keeping an eye on you and Way until we know for sure who busted into your place.”
“How magnanimous of you,” she said, her tone icy.
I could handle angry. Hell, I could eat angry for breakfast every day. It was the tears, the hurt, the pain I couldn’t deal with.
“I said from the beginning I don’t do strings.” I’d warned her. I’d tried to do the right thing. Yet here she was looking at me like I’d deliberately wounded her.
And then suddenly the look was gone. The softness vanished from her face, the fire from her eyes.
“I understand,” she said. “I’m a lot. Waylay’s a lot. This whole thing is a lot. Even on my best day, I’m too much and yet not enough.” Her laugh was humorless.
“Don’t, Daisy,” I ordered before I could help myself.
She took a slow, deep breath then gave me a perfunctory smile that felt like a fucking cleaver to the heart. “I believe that’s the last time you get to tell me what to do and call me Daisy.”
I felt something rising inside me that had nothing to do with the relief I’d expected. No. This thing growing inside me felt like the white-hot edges of panic. “Don’t be like that.”
She slid out of the booth and stood up. “You didn’t have to do it this way. Out in public so I wouldn’t make some kind of scene. I’m a big girl, Knox. And someday, I’m going to find the kind of man who wants an uppity, needy pain in the ass. One who wants to wade into my mess and stay for the duration. Obviously, you’re not him. At least you told me that from the start.”
I stood too, feeling like I’d somehow lost control of the situation. “I didn’t say that.”
“Those are your words, and you’re right. I should have listened the first time you said them.”
She grabbed her purse and snatched the paper off the table in front of me.
“Thank you for your offer of pretending to be interested in me, but I think I’ll pass.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“Nothing needs to change, Naomi. You can still work at the bar. You and Liza still have an arrangement. Everything else can stay the same.”
“I have to go,” she said, starting for the door.
I grabbed her arm and pulled her into me. It had felt so natural, and it had the other benefit of forcing her to look at me. The knot in my gut loosened temporarily when her gaze met mine.
“Here,” I said, yanking the envelope out of my back pocket and handing it over.
“What’s this? A list of reasons I wasn’t good enough?”
“It’s cash,” I said.
She recoiled like I’d told her it was an envelope of spiders.
“Take it. It’ll help you and Way out.”
She slapped the envelope against my chest. “I don’t want your money. I don’t want anything from you now. But especially not your money.”
With that, she tried to yank free. It was a reflex that had me tightening my grip.
“Take. Your. Hands. Off. Me, Knox,” Naomi said softly.
It wasn’t fire in her eyes now. It was ice.
“Naomi, it doesn’t have to be this way.”
“Good-bye, Knox.”
She slipped out of my grip, leaving me staring after her like an idiot.
BREAKING UP, DOWN, AND THROUGH
Naomi
Too complicated. Too much. Too needy. Not worth it.
The thoughts swirled in my head on a vicious merry-go-round as I marched down the sidewalk, Knockemout blurring around me through unshed tears.
I’d made a life here. I’d built up a fantasy in my mind. Taken afternoon coffees and whispered dirty talk to mean something else entirely. He didn’t want me. He never had.
Worse, he hadn’t wanted Waylay either. I’d taken my young, impressionable charge and dragged her into my relationship with a man who was never going to be there for her in the long-term.
I’d seen it in his eyes. The pity. He felt sorry for me. Poor, stupid Naomi falling for the bad boy who’d made no promises.
And the money. The gall of the man thinking he could break my heart and then fork over cash like I was a prostitute and like it would somehow make everything all right. It added a new layer to the humiliation.
I was going to go to Liza’s, fake a migraine, and spend the rest of the day in bed. Then I was going to have an overdue chat with myself about picking the wrong fucking guy. Again.
And when I was done lecturing myself, I was going to make sure that Waylay never let herself get stuck into positions like this.
Oh, God. I lived in the small town of freaking small towns. I’d see him around. Everywhere. At the coffee shop. At work. This was his town. Not mine.
Did I even belong here?
“Hey, Naomi!” Bud Nickelbee called as he ducked out of the hardware store. “Just wanted to let you know I popped out this morning and fixed your front door.”
I stopped in my tracks. “You did?”
He bobbed his head. “Heard about the trouble and didn’t want you to have to worry about getting the repairs done.”
I hugged him hard. “You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you, Bud.”
He shrugged against me, then awkwardly patted my back. “Just figured you had enough crap to deal with and thought you could use a break.”
“You’re a good man, Bud.”
“Okaaaaaay,” he said. “You all right? You need me to call someone? I can have Knox come get you.”
I shook my head rapidly from side to side until the hardware store and its owner blurred before me. “No!” I barked. “I mean, thanks but no.”
The door to Dino’s opened, and my stomach dropped into my toes when Knox stepped outside onto the sidewalk.
I turned away, praying for invisibility.
“Naomi,” he called.
I started walking in the opposite direction.
“Naomi, come on. Stop,” Knox said.
But with just a few words, he’d permanently lost the privilege of me listening to him when he told me what to do.
“Now, Knox. I don’t think the lady wants to talk to you right now,” I heard Bud advise.
“Step aside, Bud,” I heard Knox growl.
I was an idiot. But at least I was a fast-moving idiot.