Waylon and Beeper chose that moment to take their zoomies up the stairs.
“Daze, you wanna explain what’s goin’ on?” Knox drawled as he sidestepped the canine catastrophe.
I ducked under Dad’s arm and moved to stand between my parents and my boss…er, neighbor? One-time sex partner?
“Uh. Okay. So…I really wish I would have had more coffee.”
“Are those tattoos real? How many times a week do you go to the gym?” Mom asked, peering under Dad’s armpit.
“What the hell is goin’ on?” Dad rumbled.
“Oh, Lou. So old-fashioned,” Mom said, giving him an affectionate pat on the backside before walking up to Knox and hugging him.
“Mom!”
Knox stood there woodenly clearly in shock.
“Welcome to the family,” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“Oh my God. I’m going to die of embarrassment,” I decided.
Knox patted my mother awkwardly on the back. “Uh. Thanks?”
She released him and then grabbed me by the shoulders. “We were so worried about you, sweetheart. It wasn’t like you to just up and leave your own wedding like that. Not that we ever liked Warner that much anyway.”
“Always thought he was a pretentious ass,” Dad cut in.
“I thought maybe you were depressed,” Mom continued. “But now it all makes sense! You fell in love with someone else and couldn’t go through with a sham of a marriage. Isn’t that wonderful, Lou?”
“I need coffee,” Knox muttered and headed for the kitchen.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Dad demanded, still not looking very pleased.
“Naomi,” Knox called from the coffeepot. “Pants?”
I winced. “Under the sink.”
He gave me a long, unreadable look before bending to retrieve his jeans.
My mother gave me an incredibly inappropriate double thumbs-up as Knox turned his back on us and zipped the fly of his jeans.
MOM!I mouthed.
But she just continued flashing me the thumbs and a creepy smile of approval.
It reminded me of the time I’d taken her to see the Andersontown Community Theater’s production of The Full Monty. My mom had an appreciation for the male form.
“Okay, I think we’re getting a little ahead of ourselves. Mom, Dad, this is Knox. He’s my neighbor and boss. We’re not in love.”
My mother’s face fell, and Dad looked at the floor, hands on hips, his shoulders hunched. I’d seen that reaction before. Concern. Disappointment. Worry. But never for anything I’d done. It was always Tina bringing them trouble. I hated that this time it was me.
“Is this some one-night stand? Are you having some kind of mid-life crisis, and this guy took advantage of you?” My father, who had won Best Hugger three years running at the Witt Family Reunion, looked as if he was about ready to start throwing punches.
“Dad! No one took advantage of anyone.”
I shut up as Knox appeared at my side and handed me a fresh cup of coffee.
“How long are you two in town?” Knox asked my parents.
Dad glared at him.
“We haven’t decided,” Mom said to his tattoos. “We’re very excited to meet our granddaughter. And we’re a little concerned about you know who.” She pointed at me as if I hadn’t heard her stage whisper.
Knox looked at me and sighed. He put his free hand on the back of my neck and pulled me into his side. “Here’s the situation. Your daughter blew into town trying to help her no-good sister, no offense.”
“None taken,” Mom assured him.
“I took one look at Naomi and fell hard and fast.”
“Knox,” I hissed. But he squeezed the back of my neck and continued.
“We’re just seeing where this thing goes. Could be nothing, but we’re enjoying it. You raised a smart, beautiful, stubborn woman.”
Mom fluffed her hair. “She gets that from me.”
“What is it you do for a living, Knock?” Dad demanded.
“Knox,” I corrected. “He owns businesses and some property, Dad.”
My father harrumphed. “Self-made man? Guess it’s better than Mr. Nepotism.” I assumed he was speaking of Warner, who got a job at the family company after college graduation.
“Got lucky a few years back and won the lottery. Invested most of it here in my hometown,” Knox explained. “Thought I’d used up all my luck till Naomi here showed up.”
Fake Romantic Knox was going to ruin all real romance for me if I wasn’t careful.
“His name’s on the police station,” I said with forced brightness.
His grip on my neck tightened again. I reached behind him and pinched the skin just above the waistband of his jeans. He squeezed harder. I pinched harder.
“I need some Advil or something,” Dad muttered, rubbing his forehead.
“You shouldn’t have a headache, Lou. Our daughter is fine. I was the one who was worried on the way down here, remember?” Mom said as if Knox and I weren’t even in the room.
“Yeah? Well, now I’m the one who thinks there’s something wrong with her.”
“Let me get you something for your head,” I offered, trying to extricate myself from Knox’s grip. But he merely squeezed tighter and took a sip of his coffee.
“Don’t be silly. I have all of your father’s favorite anti-inflammatories in my purse,” Mom announced. She bustled over to where she’d planted her purse next to the front door. Dad shoved his hands in his pockets and wandered into the kitchen. I saw him frown at Knox’s t-shirt where it lay crumpled on the stove top.
“Waylay is going to be so excited to meet you. Where are you two staying while you’re here?” I asked, desperate to make small talk.
“There’s a motel in town. We’ll see if they have any rooms available,” Dad said, opening cupboard doors and tapping the shelves.
After a three-week luxury Mediterranean cruise, I didn’t think my parents would enjoy the moldy, dilapidated motel. I was already shaking my head when Knox spoke up.
“I think we can do better than that. We’ll find room for you at Liza J’s.”
“Knox,” I hissed. How was I going to pretend to be in a relationship with Knox with my parents staying practically next door?
He leaned in like he was going to nuzzle the side of my face and whispered, “Shut up.” Then he brushed his lips over my temple, and my nipples went hard.
Mom waltzed by with a bottle of pills, beaming at me. I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’m sure you’d want to stay as close to your daughter and granddaughter as possible,” Knox said.
“Knox, can I see you outside?” I asked through clenched teeth.
“Do you see how they can’t keep their hands off each other?” Mom trilled behind us.
“Yeah. You got any antacids in there?” Dad asked, looking ill.
I closed the door and dragged Knox onto the porch.
“So what are we supposed to do? Pretend to be in a relationship until my parents leave?”
“You’re welcome. You fucking owe me, Daze. Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to my bachelor reputation?”
“I don’t care about your reputation! I’m the one who has to pass a home study! Besides, I’m tired of owing you! Why do you keep riding to my rescue?”
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Maybe I like being the hero for once.”
My knees threatened to buckle as the knee-jerk desire to swoon swept over me. His grin was downright sinful when he pulled me into him.
The contact with his body so soon after The Best Sex Ever was frying my circuits. I didn’t want to yell at him anymore. I wanted to kiss him.
“Or maybe,” he whispered against my lips, “I just want to know what it feels like to have your smart mouth wrapped around my cock.”
That was at least honest. And dirty. And I liked it.
He had one hand boldly cupping my rear end. The other held my hair at the base of my neck.
“Pardon the interruption.”
Instinctively, I jumped back from Knox. Well, I tried to. He still had a pretty good grip on me. Which turned out to be a good thing since I probably would have fallen right over the railing when I spotted caseworker Yolanda Suarez eyeing us from the foot of the steps.
“Mrs. Suarez, how lovely to see you again.” I choked the words out.