And I realized as I stared into the distance—my heart feeling as weightless and hollow as ever when I saw him there, alone, without me—that as long as I had him, my life-altering moment would never be a measurement of time. It would never be as simple as marking a few points in the timeline of my life that I could identify as transcendent. It was him. Aaron. He was my moment. And for as long as I had him, my life would constantly be changing, be altered. I’d be challenged, cherished, loved. With him, I’d live.
And I’d fight for that. I’d fight for him like I hadn’t when he asked me to. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. He was stuck with me. Just like he had promised me in Spain, in front of the people I loved the most in this world. I’d prove that to him.
“Aaron,” I heard myself say. Let me be your rock. The hand that holds yours. Your home.
My voice was barely a whisper, too low and quiet to make it all the way to where he was. But somehow, it did. It reached him. Because Aaron’s head snapped up. As he sat in that rigid plastic chair, his back straightened, and his neck turned around. I could see the disbelief in his profile, as if he thought he must have imagined me calling his name.
But I hadn’t. I was right here. And if he let me, I could take care of him. I would caress his back while he sat in the dull and impersonal waiting room, brush his hair with soothing fingers, and make sure he ate and slept. I’d comfort him with hugs and be the shoulder he leaned his forehead on as he grieved the dad he might lose soon. The one who had missed so much, the one I knew Aaron felt like was already gone.
His gaze scanned the space that separated us with the sheer determination I knew only he was capable of. And I’d never know why, but I waited. I held very still as he swiped around. And then, after what felt like an eternity and at the same time not enough time to prepare myself, blue eyes locked with mine. My heart toppled over itself, and I felt the commotion inside my chest.
I watched his legs straighten, bringing him up.
Then, his lips parted with my name. “Lina.”
It wasn’t the Lina instead of Catalina. It was the anguish in his voice—the need, the way his hair was ruffled, the bags resting under his eyes, the wrinkles in his clothes that screamed they hadn’t been changed in a couple of days—that propelled me forward. My legs sprinted across that hallway that separated us like they had never run before. Toward him, right into his arms. Just how he had asked me to. And when I reached him, I launched myself at him. I locked my body around his.
It wasn’t appropriate. It wasn’t the time or the place, and he was carrying so much on his shoulders already. There was so much we needed to talk about, but it was right. I knew it in my bones as his arms closed around me.
He lifted me off the floor, squeezed me into his chest, held me in his arms.
I buried my face in his neck as I kept murmuring into him, “I’m here. I’m here. I’m running toward you. I trust you. I love you,” hoping it wasn’t too late.
And he kept repeating my name. “Lina, baby. Lina, are you really here?” Hushed and broken, sounding like he still didn’t believe it was me in his arms. That it was me who had finally come to him like I should have done days ago.
No. Like I should have done an eternity ago.
Aaron walked backward, sitting back down as he held me in his arms. As I held him into mine. My body curled into his lap, and his palm cupped the nape of my neck.
“I’m so sorry, Aaron,” I breathed into the skin between his shoulder and the underside of his jaw. “For everything. For your dad and for not being here, by your side, earlier. How is he? Have you seen him?”
I felt his throat swallow against my temple.
“He’s …” Aaron shook his head. “I have seen him, but he’s been out of it all this time. I just …” He trailed off, sounding exhausted. Defeated. “Are you really here, baby?” he repeated, holding me tighter. “Or is this my imagination playing tricks on me? I haven’t slept in … I don’t know how many days. Two? Three?”
“I’m here. I’m right here.” I lifted my head and moved, so I could cup his face, take a good look at that face I had been so set on despising and now loved so much. “And I’m going to take care of you.”
His eyes fluttered closed, and I heard a strangled sound coming from his throat.
“I love you, Aaron. You shouldn’t be alone—ever. And I am the one meant to be with you. Here. Holding your hand.”
His eyes remained closed, his jaw pressed tightly.
“Let me do it. Let me prove to you that I trust you and that I can earn your trust back. That I am the one who’s supposed to be by your side right now and as long as you’ll let me.”
“You want to do that?”
“Yes,” I rushed out quickly. “Yes, yes. Of course I want to,” I repeated. “I need to,” I whispered, not trusting my voice. “Let me be here for you. Take care of you.”
His eyes opened, our gazes connecting. After a long moment, a pained chuckle rose to his lips. “You drive me so fucking crazy, Lina. I don’t think you understand.”
One of his hands latched on to my wrist as I still cupped his face desperately. I was ready to fight. I was ready to beg if it was necessary.
“You came all the way here. You …” He trailed off, disbelief crumpling his face. “How did you even find me?”
“I had to come to you.” My fingers trailed down the side of his neck, my palm settling against the warm skin. “I remembered everything you’d told me. About Seattle, your dad being somewhat known here. So, I Googled your last name, the university football team, the coaching staff. Then, I looked for a list of hospitals where he could have checked in. I knew you’d be here because you wouldn’t leave his side if he was in critical condition, like Sharon had told me. And you haven’t. You are here. It only took me a few tries. I would have turned the city upside down if I hadn’t found you. I wouldn’t have rested until getting to you.”
I finally allowed my lungs to take in a breath. And I found Aaron’s eyes shining with something that made my chest ache in a warm and wonderful way.
“I did call you, but it went straight to voice mail, and then I just … didn’t want to busy your head with anything else. And …” My voice lowered to a whisper. “And I did not want to give you a chance to tell me not to come. I was terrified you wouldn’t want me to. So, I didn’t call again. I just came to you instead.”
A shudder rocked Aaron’s body.
“You blow my goddamn mind, my rules, my world,” he breathed, those ocean-blue eyes capturing my gaze like they never had before. “When I least expect it, I find you ready to dynamite your way right into my heart. As if you hadn’t done that already.” The grip of his fingers on my wrist tightened, pulling me to him, and I could feel the soft air leaving his mouth, falling on my lips. “As if you hadn’t already dismantled me for anybody else. As if I wasn’t at your mercy.”
Hope, warm and soft hope, fell over my shoulders. “I have done all that?”
“You have, Lina.”
Aaron’s forehead fell on mine, and I had no choice but to close my eyes. To take it all and control this whirlwind of emotion threatening to turn me inside out.
“With every smile, you have done exactly that.” I felt his lips brushing over mine briefly, sending a shiver down my spine. “With every single time you have been infuriatingly stubborn and impossibly beautiful, all at once.” He placed a kiss on the corner of my eye. “With every time you have shown the world how incredibly strong you are, even when you don’t believe so yourself.” A kiss on the tip of my nose. “With all the ways your mind amazes and disturbs me in ways I’ll never understand and not ever tire of.” His lips landed on my cheekbone, flicking across the skin. “With how every single time you laugh, I want to throw you over my shoulder and run somewhere I can covet that sound just for myself.” A kiss was brushed on my jaw, his lips then sweeping along until reaching my ear. “And with every other unfathomable way you have made me completely yours.”
“Yours,” I repeated, my heart expanding in my chest. Lurching itself against my rib cage. Wanting out and into Aaron’s. “I’m yours too, Aaron. So completely yours. I have … fallen in love with you. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I love you.” I didn’t recognize my own voice, not with the loud thumping in my ears. “I was so stupid to let you walk away. So, so dumb. But I got lost in my head. I was so scared, Aaron. I didn’t want to lose everything I had worked so hard for. To have people look at me like they had all those years ago. To lose you, too, when you realized that I was a complication.”
“You’d never be one.”
“I know that now, but I somehow convinced myself that letting you go was the best thing I could do to protect myself from that happening again.” I shook my head, pushing that dreadful emotion out of my chest. I’d tell Aaron about Sharon and the investigation on Gerald. But now wasn’t the time.
“I’m sorry for not being here for you like I should have.”
He looked at me like he didn’t want my apologies, but I didn’t let him talk.
“I am.” My voice wavered. “Knowing that your dad was sick and you were all the way here, alone. Taking it all without anyone to hold you. That he has been critical for weeks, and yet you came to Spain with me. That you …” I trailed off, my voice now shaking. “That you would give me so fucking much without ever asking for anything in return. It destroyed me. But I’m here now,” I whispered, looking into his eyes.
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, not because I believe that we can somehow be together now, but because I can’t conceive of being anywhere else but beside you.” I swallowed hard, trying to rein in every emotion threatening to burst out. “You know that, right?” I leaned in, my lips brushing over his. Very softly, almost tentatively. Waiting for his answer.
“I do now.” A low grunt came from his throat. His fingers tightened once more around my wrist. The arm around my waist brought me even deeper into his chest. “I do, Lina. And I don’t plan on letting you forget that.”
The hand that had been on my wrist trailed up my arm, his palm cupping my face. I leaned into his touch, feeling like I could live only on Aaron’s caresses and kisses.
“I would have come back for you, you know? I told you I wouldn’t let you quit on us. You still owed me that four-letter word.”
He had said that. And the realization made my stomach drop to my feet. How dumb I had been. Aaron hadn’t given up on us; that had been only me. Only temporarily. While Aaron had been holding on to this. To us. All this time. Even when he needed someone by his side the most. And that … that made the heart in my chest burst into a hundred million pieces, only to reassemble into something different. Something that didn’t belong to me anymore. It belonged to us.
“It’s yours. Love and all the other four-letter words I could ever give you.” I placed a kiss on his mouth, not able to hold myself back any longer. I took my time with his lips, claiming them as mine. Claiming him.
A hum sounded deep in his throat. “You are stuck with me, Catalina.”
Both arms cradled me closer in his lap, further into his chest. The side of my head rested against his drumming heart, his chin on the top of my hair, and peace—an overpowering kind of peace I had never heard of or experienced before—settled between my shoulders. And I knew then that we’d take anything on as long as we were together. We were a team. We’d light up each other’s way, hold each other’s hand, and push the other forward when we stumbled. Together. We’d do anything together.
Just like we would get through this. I’d get Aaron through this.
“Aaron?” I lifted my gaze and met his. “I’m here for you now. I’m going to take care of you,” I told him simply.
He sighed; it was deep and slow, and it sounded like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“But just know that if I had known your dad was sick, I would have never let you come to Spain with me. Why didn’t you tell me when you talked about him, Aaron? I know you don’t owe me an explanation, but I want to know. I want to understand better.”