And then I proceeded to do a very dumb and impulsive thing. Just how I always managed to do. “And I couldn’t have been any more wrong.” I chuckled bitterly. “Maybe Aaron wasn’t nervous—I wouldn’t know. But he didn’t need any kind of push. He was not looking for friends. And he certainly was aware of what impression he was making.” I returned back to the present in that moment, and I was greeted by three pairs of confused eyes. My throat dried out. “I mean, that obviously changed. Eventually,” I added quickly in an unfortunately unconvincing way. “Because we are super in love, so yay!” Throwing my arms in the air, I cheered, trying my best to get the control back, but the gesture landed nowhere near where I’d wanted it to.
Isabel’s face fell slightly, and right before her frown could fully form, Aaron surprised me by coming to my rescue.
“Catalina isn’t wrong. That day, I was a little nervous,” he confessed, and my head swirled in his direction.
Aaron’s gaze was on my sister, which was good because we were in desperate need of some damage control that required all his attention and charm. But also because I didn’t want him to see my expression as I watched him. That trip down memory lane had left me a little too raw for hiding how I really felt about that day.
“I didn’t have any plans or hopes of making friends, not during that first meeting and not any day after,” he continued.
Well, that wasn’t a shock to me, not after almost two years of enduring the consequences of that position.
“And I was plenty obvious about it. The last thing I wanted was someone getting the wrong idea and thinking I was there for anything that wasn’t doing the best job I could. And in my book, that is not compatible with telling jokes and exchanging family tales. That day though, Lina showed up in my office. A little after five p.m.” He looked down at his hands, and his eyelids sheltered the blue in his eyes for just a heartbeat.
For a reason I couldn’t explain, my heart raced in my chest at the memory. Embarrassment. It had to be the physical reaction to reliving that embarrassing moment through Aaron’s words.
“Her cheeks were flushed, and there were some snowflakes still clinging to her hair and coat. She was carrying a gift bag with a ridiculous pattern of tiny party hats printed on it. As I took her in, I was certain that she had gotten the wrong office, that she couldn’t possibly be there, carrying some kind of gift for me. Maybe she was looking for the guy who had sat there before me.”
I watched his throat work as his words held his audience’s attention.
“And I was going to tell her, but I didn’t stand a chance. She started babbling some nonsense about how cold New York was in winter and how irritating people turned when it snowed, how chaotic instead of peaceful the city actually was. ‘As if it’s my fault that New Yorkers hate the snow,’ she said. ‘It’s like the cold numbs their brains, and they turn stupid.’ ” Aaron smiled sheepishly. Very briefly, one moment there and the next gone.
And I kept staring at his profile, eating up his words and how they sent me right back to that day.
At that point, my heart banged against my chest with growing urgency, as if it were a wild thing, asking to be let out. Begging to ask all the questions taking shape in my head and threatening to do it itself if I didn’t.
“She placed the bag on my desk and then told me to open it. But the cold must have numbed my brain, too, because instead of doing that, I kept gawking at it. Petrified and … intrigued. Staring at it and not having the slightest clue as to what to do with it.”
He had done that, and his reaction had made me panic and jump into crisis-control Lina. Which had been my second mistake that day.
“When I didn’t reach for it, she shoved her hand into the bag and pulled the contents out herself.” Aaron chuckled, but he wasn’t laughing. Because the curt noise was almost sad.
I wasn’t laughing either. I was too busy chewing on the fact that he remembered everything. All of it. In detail. My chest filled with more questions.
“It was a mug. And it had a joke printed on it. It said, Engineers don’t cry. They build bridges and get over it.”
Someone laughed then. Isabel or perhaps Gonzalo—I wasn’t sure. With all that crazy banging, my heart had somehow moved up my throat and to my temples, so it was hard to focus on anything besides its beating and Aaron’s voice.
“And you know what I did?” he continued, bitterness filling his tone. “Instead of laughing like I wanted to, instead of looking up at her and saying something funny that would hopefully make her give me one of those bright smiles I had somehow already seen her give so freely in the short day I had been around her, I pushed it all down and set the mug on my desk. Then, I thanked her and asked her if there was anything else she needed.”
I knew I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but I was. Just as much as I had been back then, if not more. It had been such a silly thing to do, and I had felt so tiny and dumb after he brushed it away so easily.
Closing my eyes, I heard him continue, “I pretty much kicked her out of my office after she went out of her way and got me a gift.” Aaron’s voice got low and harsh. “A fucking welcome gift.”
I opened my eyes just in time to watch him turn his head in my direction. Our gazes met.
“Just like the big jerk I had advertised myself to be, I ran her out. And to this day, I regret it every time it crosses my mind. Every time I look at her.” He didn’t even blink as he talked, looking straight into my eyes. And I didn’t think I did either. I didn’t think I was even breathing. “All the time I wasted so foolishly. All the time I could have had with her.”
If I hadn’t been leaning on the tall table of the sidrería, I would have fallen to the floor. My legs weren’t able to support my weight any longer. My body had somehow numbed. Aaron looked at me—no, he looked into me. And in return, he let me do the same. I couldn’t know how, but I swore, in that moment, he was laying bare a little piece of himself in front of me. He was trying to tell me something I didn’t think I had the ability to process. Or was he? Was he begging me to remember that this was all a farce? Or was he begging me to remember that even if it was, his words still held part of the truth?
But that couldn’t make any sense, could it?
No. Nothing did. Not me wondering and not whatever I thought I had heard in his words or seen in his eyes.
Certainly not the way my heart had broken free and turned into a wrecking ball, demolishing everything it found on its way and leaving nothing more than a trail of shambles behind.
“And what happened next?” a familiar voice asked.
“Then,” Aaron answered, and his hand rose, the backs of his fingers brushing my cheek, “I acted like a fool—an idiot, depending on who you ask—for a little longer.”
My eyelids hid my eyes, breaking off the contact. I could feel my blood pumping through my body. The imprint of the ghost of his touch right beneath my cheekbone.
“And eventually, I somehow managed to make her give me the time of day. I talked her into believing that she needed me. Then, I showed her—proved to her—that she did.”
My eyes were still closed. I didn’t trust myself to open them.
I didn’t want to see Aaron. His face, his lips, the serious line of his jaw. I didn’t want to see if there were any secrets in the depths of the ocean in his eyes.
I was terrified of not finding a single thing there. Of finding something. Everything, anything. I … was simply terrified. Confused.
Then, someone started clapping. And I heard the unmistakable voice of my sister.
“You,” she said when I blinked open my eyes. Isabel’s voice sounded shaky with emotion and anger. All at once.
Not that I cared at that moment. I was looking into Aaron’s eyes again. And he hadn’t lifted his gaze off me.
What is happening? What are we doing?
My sister continued talking, “That was so beautiful, Aaron. And you, Catalina Martín Fernández,” she used our two last names, which meant trouble. “You are no sister of mine any longer. I can’t believe you kept all that from me. You made me talk about sexcapades and lust when the truth is so much better than all that superficial crap.”
The truth. That little word soured my stomach.
“Good thing your boyfriend has better sense. You are so very lucky he’s here.”
Aaron kept his eyes on me when he said, “See? It’s a very good thing I’m here.”
That sent my heart into doing another cartwheel.
“Oh, Aaron.” I heard my sister exhale shakily, and I could tell she was about to cry. Or kick my ass. It could be either one of those. “You have no idea how happy this makes me. It’s the best wedding gift I could ever get, seeing my little sister finally …” Her voice wobbled. “After all this time, it’s just …” A hiccup. “Oh, man. Why am I crying when I want to kick her ass? It must … it must … be …” She hiccupped again.
Oh dear Lord.
Tearing my gaze off Aaron, I reluctantly turned to my sister. She was full-on bawling. And she looked pissed off too.