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The Friend Zone

Josh

The hair dryer was still running in Kristen’s room when the doorbell rang on my way to the garage. I called down the hall, but she didn’t hear me. Figured I might as well make myself useful, so I answered it.

The woman on the front porch wasn’t what I expected. She could have been Kristen’s grandmother. Maybe she was her grandmother. She looked like she was pushing seventy. Still good-looking though. Kind of regal.

I saw Kristen’s high cheekbones, petite frame, and large eyes. Her gray hair was pulled tight into a neat bun. She wore pearls.

When she saw me, she gave me a raised eyebrow and looked me over like I was a wine list that didn’t have her year.

“Well, hello. Is my daughter available?” Her eyes flicked coolly to my wet hair.

“She’ll be right out. Come in. I’m Josh, her carpenter,” I added, giving her a hand to shake.

“Evelyn Peterson.” She shook my hand firmly and then looked around the living room while she fished a small bottle of hand sanitizer out of her purse and squirted some into her palm.

It was a little rude, but I watched this with amusement.

I saw where Kristen got her scowl from. Evelyn did not look pleased.

“I hope you don’t take the state of this house as evidence of a poor upbringing,” she said, rubbing her hands together and eyeing an empty beer bottle and dirty plate on the coffee table. “Kristen grew up with a housekeeper, but I’d like to think I instilled a sense of pride in her.” She wrinkled her nose at one of Stuntman Mike’s half-chewed bones on the floor. “Even if it’s not always apparent.”

Kristen’s house was spotless. You’d be hard-pressed to find a dust bunny under the couch. Who gave a shit about a beer bottle and a plate?

She moved around the coffee table and picked up a green dachshund sweater from a stack Kristen had been inventorying. It read I SEE YOU LOOKING AT MY WIENER. Evelyn grimaced and set it down with two fingers.

My mom would have thought that shit was hilarious. Evelyn wasn’t a wiener-joke kind of lady, I guess.

I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. Too pretentious for my taste. Still, I was kind of her host at the moment, and I had to entertain her until Kristen took over.

“Uh…can I get you something to drink? A water?” I asked.

Her steely gaze settled back on me. “Thank you, no. Where is Tyler?”

“I’m not sure. I just work here,” I said. It wasn’t my place to tell her about the voicemail breakup.

She narrowed her eyes. “Hmm.”

Kristen came around the corner, her hand to her earring, and she stopped cold when she saw us together. Then she did something I have never, in the entire time I’ve known her, seen her do.

She turned red.

“I was beginning to think I needed to send out a search party,” Evelyn said curtly.

I braced for Kristen’s snarky retort, but to my surprise she didn’t reply. Instead she stiffly kissed her mom hello.

“And where is Tyler?” Evelyn gave Kristen an air-kiss. “I hope we’re not going to be late. You know how I hate being late.” She glanced at a diamond watch.

Kristen’s eyes flicked nervously to me. “Actually, Tyler won’t be coming. We broke up.”

Evelyn’s lips pressed into a line. She waited a long beat before she replied with a cool, “I see.” She turned to me. “Joshua, would you care to join us? Our reservation is for three.”

Kristen spoke quickly. “He has a lot of orders—”

“I believe this was my brunch invitation,” Evelyn said. “You’ve deprived us of our threesome and failed to inform me in advance so I could make the proper arrangements to fill the seat. I’d like to invite Joshua, and it’s my invitation to extend.”

Her tone had a finality to it. I looked at Kristen. She’d gone totally silent.

Kristen, silent.

This alarmed me more than I could comprehend.

Something protective told me not to leave her alone with this woman. This Tyler thing seemed to be some sort of hot button between them, and I got the impression a buffer was needed. Maybe that’s why she asked. The empty chair might piss Evelyn off and just make things worse.

“Sure, I’d love to come.”

Alarm ripped across Kristen’s face.

I looked down at my clothes. “I’m not sure I’m dressed for it though.”

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