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The Friend Zone

Kirsten

The party was at Luigi’s, under the stars. We had the entire outdoor patio of Sloan and Brandon’s favorite Italian restaurant for our night of activities. First we’d do dinner followed by a few hours of stuffing wedding invites into envelopes and putting together the favors—a hundred and fifty small jasmine-scented votive candles. Each one needed a label, a box, tissue paper, a hangtag, and a ribbon.

The caprese salad, chicken marsala, and penne pasta were served buffet style beneath a white lattice dripping with grapevines and fairy lights. Frank Sinatra crooned over the speakers.

The whole thing was so Sloan. She was doing her Pinterest obsession proud.

We were all seated at a long wooden farm table with fresh flowers and flickering votive candles every few feet. Sloan and Brandon’s mom and his sister, Claudia, took the end of the table. Sloan’s cousin Hannah got stuck next to Shawn, where he’d probably hit on her the whole night. Josh sat by Brandon, and I ended up next to Sloan, across from the two of them.

It was a perfect March night. The air was fragrant and warm.

And the spot on my neck where Josh’s fingers touched me—that was still warm too.

God, he looked incredible tonight. It took everything in me not to stare at him. The second I saw him, I think an entire ovary detached and floated down into my useless uterus to wait.

I was done lying to myself. Over the last week I’d come to terms with the fact that I was more attracted to Josh than I was to Tyler. By a landslide. By a tsunami. And that was saying a lot because Tyler and I didn’t exactly lack chemistry.

And it wasn’t just Josh’s body. It was him. There wasn’t anything about him I didn’t like. I wished there were.

He was easygoing and funny. My moods didn’t scare him. He just kind of shrugged them off. He was down for anything. We hated all the same stuff—artsy indie movies with endings that didn’t have any closure, pineapple on pizza, daylight savings time. Sometimes he said something right as I was going to say it, like our brains worked on the same wavelength.

Every day I searched for some fatal flaw so I could stop having these feelings. Sometimes I purposely grilled him on things, just to see if his answers would irritate me.

It never worked.

I felt good today. I wasn’t cramping or bleeding for once. My nineteen-day period was finally gone, and I’d spent the afternoon getting waxed and polished at the salon. I did it because I knew I was going to this thing with Josh tonight. I was supposed to be dressed up, and for once looking half-decent wouldn’t betray my feelings for him. I wanted him to think I was beautiful, just one time.

Even if I was just teasing him, just to see if I could.

Josh and Brandon were deep in conversation across the table, going on about duck hunting, and Sloan leaned in and whispered over her tiramisu. “Josh has been looking at you all night.”

I picked up my sangria and took a sip. As if he intended to prove her claims, Josh glanced at me and smiled.

If I was a woman who blushed, I would have.

I hadn’t talked to Tyler in days. He’d called yesterday and I didn’t answer because I was watching Casino with Josh and didn’t want to stop hanging out with him to talk to the man I should be talking to.

It was shameful.

But I only had two more days until Tyler came home. That was it. And then Josh would vanish back into the garage. An imaginary clock had been ticking in my mind for days, and I was panicking again that Tyler was moving in. Only this time it had more to do with losing Josh than worrying Tyler and I wouldn’t work out.

I nudged Sloan. “Bathroom.” I slid my chair out and set down my wineglass. Sloan got up and followed, the red petticoat swishing under her polka-dot dress.

Once in the safety of the ladies’ room, she cornered me in front of the sink, grinning. “That guy is so into you.”

Her pause dared me to deny it. Maybe he was a little into me. It didn’t matter though.

Unchallenged, she went on, her eyes twinkling. “And you know what else? Brandon won’t talk about it. You know what that means? It means Josh is saying stuff to him that he doesn’t want to tell me.” She looked positively thrilled at this bit of information.

I couldn’t look her in the eye. I stared at the colorful collection of tattoos on her arm. “I like him, Sloan. Like, a lot. I haven’t felt this way in a really long time.” Maybe ever. I glanced back to her.

She broke into one of her dazzling beauty-queen smiles. “Are you going to break up with Tyler?”

And there it was.

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