I gazed into the garage and Josh’s eyes flickered away from me like he’d been watching.
I wondered if Josh ever thought of me the way I thought of him, or if my attempts to turn him off were successful. He seemed to enjoy my company, but he never crossed any lines with me. That was a good thing. Because if he ever did, I’d have to make him leave. Permanently.
“Josh is very well behaved,” I said, telling the truth. “I mean, I wouldn’t have even agreed to this if he wasn’t Brandon’s best friend. He was prescreened.” All true.
I left out the part that I had a major crush on him and was enjoying my time with him more than I should.
“What does that guy look like anyway?” Tyler asked.
“Josh? Hot fireman.” No point in lying to him. He’d see for himself soon enough. And Tyler was never shocked by my bluntness.
“Not hotter than me, I hope.” He was giving me that cocky grin of his right through the phone. The guy knew he was gorgeous. He didn’t sound particularly worried.
“It’s kind of a crapshoot, actually. The two of you would really rake it in at one of those ‘save the children’ fund-raisers where the guys get auctioned off.”
I’d go broke at that fund-raiser. For the kids, of course.
He laughed. “Well, tell him I appreciate him looking out for you until I get home.”
“I will. So what’s going on over there?” I wanted to change the subject away from Josh.
“Oh, I’ve got a story for you, actually.”
I arched an eyebrow. Tyler’s stories were great. “Montgomery?”
“Hansen,” he said.
He had two buddies over there, Montgomery and Hansen, who never failed to produce good stories.
“Hansen just got back from leave. You won’t believe what this guy did.”
“Tell me,” I said.
He launched into an animated story about Hansen’s exploits and I smiled, remembering why Tyler and I were able to make a two-year long-distance relationship work. He was great on the phone. I breathed a sigh of relief that I felt drawn in again and wasn’t impatient to hang up and get back to Josh.
“He’s got three squad cars and a Bentley parked in front of his house at three in the morning,” he said.
“Fucking Hansen.”
“I know. He had pictures of the whole thing.” I could imagine him shaking his head, those piercing green eyes laughing. “The guy kills me.” He chuckled.
I sighed. “What are you gonna do when you’re not hanging out with these guys anymore?” Both Hansen and Montgomery had reenlisted.
He went quiet for a beat too long. “We’ll stay in touch. I’m not worried about it.” But something in his tone had flattened. “Hey, I was thinking we could take a trip to Spain when I get back. I’d love to show you where I lived when I was a kid.”
We talked for a few minutes about Spain. Then the phone muffled, like he was talking to someone else. “Kris, I need to get going. I’ll give you a call in a few days.”
“Tyler?”
“What’s up?”
I shot a look at Josh. “I really need you to come home. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Kris. Talk to you in a few days.”
We hung up and I stood in the driveway for a moment, looking in at Josh.
I did miss Tyler. The thing was, even though I missed him, I couldn’t really remember him.
Tyler dimmed for me during these separations. It was like a dying fire. But it always blazed back up the second he was with me again. And I knew at least some of what I was feeling for Josh was because what I felt for Tyler had become fuzzy and hard to recall over so many miles and so much time.
Josh was present and clear. Of course he felt more distracting to me. Right? Tyler was a season I hadn’t seen in eight months, and Josh was brighter than the sun at the moment. That’s all it was. It wasn’t that Josh was anything special. How could he be?
Josh and I had a divide between us so large we might as well be a different species. He wanted an enormous family, and I…
I just needed Tyler to come home. That’s it. I needed him to come back into my life and blot out the sun.
I needed an eclipse.
Josh looked over at me and gave me his stunning, dimpled smile, and I felt my disloyal heart reach out for him.
Yes, I needed an eclipse.
But then I’d just be in the dark, wouldn’t I?