I kissed the tombstone, giving Mom’s name one last brush.
“By the way, you would have loved Daisy. She is a hoot. I’ll bring a picture of her next time I come visit. Do you know Chase was the only man who ever entered my apartment and didn’t get the pee-in-shoe treatment? Do you think it’s a sign?”
I looked around me, actually waiting for a sign. Like in the movies. A dramatic lightning bolt slicing the sky. A flower opening unexpectedly into full bloom. Even a phone call from Chase himself would have been sufficient. Which was why the stillness of everything around me made me chuckle. Kismet didn’t happen in real life.
Just as I turned around to walk away, a groundkeeper appeared from behind a tree, holding a leaf blower and sparing me a tired smile. He wore a black uniform. The tee that stretched across his chest read in white: Black Solutions.
“Thanks, Mom.” I smiled. For me, it was enough.
Chase: Is the offer to be friends still on the table?
Maddie: You mean the one you rejected?
Chase: *While highly intoxicated and nursing a shattered ego. Yes.
Maddie: Yes. I would love to be there for you.
Chase: What are your plans for tonight?
Maddie: Watch Daisy chasing after Frank the squirrel in her quest to make love to him?
Chase: Can I join you?
Maddie: I mean, you’d have to ask them but the bar is set pretty low for Daisy if she chooses Frank for a lover.
Chase: Plus, it would be consistent with my devilish reputation to bang her roommate.
Maddie: Oh boy. I would pay good money to see your face when Daisy and Frank go at it.
Chase: You need a hobby.
Maddie: Not all of us can afford entertainment in the form of exotic ranches on lakes and mansions in the Hamptons. Us mortals have to make do with less lavish time wasters.
Chase: You mortals also have Netflix.
Maddie: I withdraw the invitation to watch Daisy and Frank recreating Gone with the Wind.
Chase: What if I come bearing food?
Maddie: Sushi?
Chase: Naturally.
Maddie: We’re on. But no lip about my movie choice when you get here. I don’t like your sass.
Chase: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Chase: Thank you for taking Katie and Mom for lunch. They appreciated it.
Maddie: Technically they took me.
Chase: You paid.
Maddie: Sneakily.
Chase: You’re good at sneaking into places.
Maddie: Like where?
Chase: My heart.
<Chase has removed a message from the chat>
Maddie: Was shopping for sex toys with Layla. What did you delete? Where’d I sneak into?
Chase: Nothing.
Maddie: CHASE.
Chase: Platonic pizza tonight?
Maddie: Not sure I’m familiar with that topping.
Chase: It’s my least favorite and includes you fully clothed. Then I’ll go home to jerk off while you make use of your new sex toy purchases.
Maddie: Platonic pizza sounds good.
Chase: My turn to choose the movie.
Maddie: I want you to know that I will never forgive you for Scarface.
Chase: I was going for Love, Actually but didn’t want my mascara to get ruined.
Maddie: You wouldn’t cry during Schindler’s List. You have no heart, remember?
Chase: Yeah, because you stole it.
<Chase removed a message from the chat>
Maddie: What did you delete? I took Daisy for a walk and things got a little intense with Frank. She almost caught him this time.
Chase: I said I do have a heart.
Chase: I keep it in a glass jar on my desk.
Chase: Okay that is a Stephen King quote. But the sentiment is clear.
Maddie: I demand a rematch.
Chase: A rematch?
Maddie: A movie of my choice which you should suffer through. I’m actually thinking of making it even more painful. How about Clemmy chooses it? Is she back from Wisconsin yet?
Chase: Last night, yeah. Let me call Amber and set it up.
Maddie: How are things between you and Amber?
Chase: I think she is starting to realize we are not going to happen.
Maddie: And Julian?
Chase: Julian and I are definitely not going to happen either.
Maddie:
Chase: He’s busy with the divorce. We haven’t really talked about us (idk what it is about you that inspires me to talk like a chick, but there you have it).
Maddie: I have a confession to make.
Chase: I was your best, huh? I knew it.
Maddie: I miss what we had but I’m so afraid you are going to break my heart again or dump me after this is all over.
<Maddie removed a message from the chat>
Chase: ?
Maddie: Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Forget it.
Chase:
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHASE
“I’m seeing Clementine today.” Julian stood in the doorway to my office, still sporting the remainders of a black eye, a cut lip, and the sulky expression of a middle-aged tool who’d gotten his ass handed to him in a fistfight.
I looked up from my laptop, because we were talking about Booger Face. I pressed my index along my mouth.
“First time since?” I asked, leaning back in my executive chair. It had been a shit show since the moment Julian had found out about Wisconsin Dude. The CEO bullshit had finally taken the back seat, and the reality that his marriage—his family—was a sham had sunk in. He looked wrecked. Like reality had finally managed to snap some sense into him. Especially as Amber hadn’t wasted any time dragging Clementine to Wisconsin to hide from the social blow and had taken the opportunity to introduce the dudebro to Clementine as a “good family friend.”
Julian nodded, rubbing at his jaw. “I don’t know what to say to her.”
“How about that you’re fucking sorry?”
“Maybe without the ‘fucking’ part. Amber will kill me, and I think that’s a hundred bucks in the potty-word piggy bank.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Wait, what am I sorry about, exactly?”
“That she’s in this situation in the first place,” I said. “About the circumstances. Where are you taking her?”
“I don’t know. Amber just said to pick her up at five. Where should I . . . ? What does she like? Jesus Christ, I don’t even know what she likes.”
Julian fell into the chair in front of me with a sigh, not bothering to receive a formal invitation to come in. I stared at him like he’d just taken a shit on my desk. We were not exactly on friendly terms since he’d outed my father’s illness and I’d rearranged the organs in his face. We hadn’t even spoken since I’d come to rub the negative paternity test in Julian’s and Amber’s faces. (Literally. I’d shoved it into Julian’s nose and scrubbed it up and down. It would have been the highlight of my year if it hadn’t meant more bad news for Clemmy.)
“How about you take her for a burger, and Mad and I will pick her up and take her to the movies afterward?” I suggested. “It’ll soften the blow.”
Julian’s head snapped up. “You still seeing her?”
“Platonically.” I spat out the word like it was profanity. It seemed acutely unfair to get shoved into the friend zone like a pair of dirty socks after I’d given her enough orgasms to light up a refinery. I shrugged as if I didn’t care. I did care. “Her funeral.”
“Speaking of funerals.” Julian took a greedy breath, avoiding eye contact as he picked up a batch of black Post-it Notes from my desk and began thumbing them nervously. “Telling everyone about Ronan . . . that was horrendous. I apologized to him. Assured him I won’t be dipping my toe into the CEO scheme anytime soon. Just thought you should know.”
I said nothing. Understandably, I was suspicious. He threw his head back, staring at the ceiling with a sigh.
“I just wanted something of my own.”
“You had something of your own. A wife. A daughter. A good career.”
“A wife who hated me despite my trying to please her in every way. A wife whom I’d promised would become a CEO’s wife and, when it appeared that my promise was not going to get fulfilled, constantly threatened to leave me. I wanted the chief executive position because I thought it meant keeping Amber. She and Clemmy were the only things I had that you didn’t. In trying to keep them, I neglected them, spending all my time at work. And now I’m getting a divorce.” He threw his arms in the air, laughing bitterly. “Irony is a bitch.”
“You can still have Clemmy. All she knows is you as her dad. As for Amber, I can sincerely say shoving your dick into a paper straw will give you more satisfaction than being with a woman who only wants you for your wallet and status. Even you can do better than that.” I wasn’t prepared to console my brousin after eating shit from him for three consecutive years, but kicking someone while they were down wasn’t my style.
“Anyway.” I arched an eyebrow when it became clear Julian wasn’t going to move an inch until I kicked him out. “I have work to do. Text me where to pick Booger Face up.”
He got up, looking around him like he was forgetting something. Maybe his manners. He should’ve knocked. He also should have apologized for the past three years. Being remorseful meant jack shit without an official admission.
“You know, Chase, you’re not so bad.” He stopped at my door.
I stared at him blankly. “Thanks for the lukewarm endorsement. Isn’t not so bad synonymous with I’ve met bigger shitheads?”
He snorted out a laugh. “See? That’s what I mean. I always thought you had no heart, which made villainizing you easier. You seem so detached from everything around you. You walk around with this broody dark halo around you. Almost like the devil.” He frowned. A shiver ran down my spine. That was how Madison referred to me. I’d thought she was joking. I didn’t think so now. “But I realized it was just you being you. And that you are capable of caring for people. You care about Lori and Ronan, Katie and Clemmy.”
And Madison. I cared about Madison too.
In fact, a part of me wasn’t so sure I was vastly different from my ex-girlfriend. In some ways, I, too, went out of my way to please the people I cared about. That was why I put so much on the line for Dad. But unlike Madison, my people-pleasing tendency had made my mouth write a check my ass couldn’t cash. I’d promised Amber marriage. And gotten slapped in the face with her betrayal.
But I was still a sucker for those I loved.
I would always have my family’s back.
Julian sent me a hopeful glance. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Just when I thought we were treading carefully out of Jerry Springer territory, he went and got all Brady Bunch on my ass. I couldn’t catch a break. I took a deep breath.
Say it.
It’s going to taste like turd, but you need to say it.
He is family.
“I care about you too.” I tried not to grit my teeth too much around the sentence. Julian’s eyes lit up. I got it. In his mind, we’d been fucking him over, giving him the Black name without the perks, so he’d rebelled. It wasn’t an excuse for his shitty behavior, but it was the incentive.
“That so?” he asked.
“Seems that way.”
“Does that mean I get to keep my CIO role?”
Or maybe he just wants to cover his ass and secure his job.
“Too soon,” I warned.
“Thanks, bro.” He gave me a wink.
I waited until he got out of my office, then gagged.