Is that what’s been wrong with me all this time? The itch, the nightmares, all the triggers have been a way to make me remember, weren’t they?
So why the hell can’t I remember them?
I come to a screeching halt, catching my breaths. My heart thunders in my chest in that irregular, frightening rhythm.
The heart that Jonathan saved just so he can destroy me when I’m older.
The heart that was shot at.
Who shot me? Who the hell would shoot a seven years old girl?
The rain blurs my vision. The buildings surrounding me start to double then to triple.
I lean against a wall, breathing harshly.
I don’t feel so good.
My heart beats so fast. I take deep inhales and release long exhales.
It’s not working.
I reach for my phone, then stop. I left the backpack with my phone in it at home.
With trembling hands, I push my hair back and try to walk. I stumble and nearly fall. I clutch the wall with stiff, wet fingers.
I search around me, but it’s deserted, probably because of the rain.
A buzz goes off in my ears and my eyes flutter closed. I lean against the wall, inhaling heavy choked breaths.
“Crybaby.” Eli’s voice rings in my head. “Come with me.”
My heartbeat slows down until it’s no longer scary but it’s also not there either.
“Why did you go, Eli?” I whisper and I feel like that six-year-old girl whom he released her hand. “Why did you leave me alone?”
“I didn’t leave you alone, crybaby. Another Eli came.”
“Another Eli?”
“Shh.”
His voice drifts and so does his image. I try to catch him, but he turns into smoke.
Eli…
Tears rim my eyes and I fall.
Or I think I do. Someone clutches me before I hit the ground.
Strong arms surround me, lifting me off the ground.
It smells good.
It smells safe.
“I got you,” that voice whispers.
My eyes flutter closed and I let go.
I got you.
A headache hits my temple.
I groan while sitting up.
For a second, I’m too disoriented to figure out where I am.
The bedroom’s dark decor with the large bed prickles my memory.
The Meet Up.
My eyes open wide and I push my hair back.
Aiden.
My heart beats then sinks into itself at the thought of him.
How did he find me? Also, why the hell would he even find me after the show Jonathan pulled at our house this morning?
Only a bathrobe and a sheet cover my nakedness.
The room’s temperature is warm. It almost feels like a cosy morning.
Almost.
The door opens without a sound. My shoulders strain with tension at the thought of seeing him.
I can’t even pretend that his presence doesn’t wreak havoc in my heart and mind.
Hot chocolate scent wafts in the air from the steaming cup he’s carrying.
His tousled hair seems damp. He’s wearing dark jeans and Elites’ royal blue jacket.
No uniform. That means he didn’t even consider going to RES.
He appears his usual self, calm and composed as if nothing is wrong.
As if my life hasn’t been crashing down all around me today.
No. Not today.
My life has been crashing down since Eli’s death. I just spent the last ten years pretending like it’s not.
“The doctor came to see you.” Aiden takes my hand in his and places the steaming hot cup between my fingers. “He said it’s not alarming, but you should have tests done with your supervising heart physician.”
“The doctor?” I ask.
“Our family doctor.”
Of course, they have a family doctor who does home visits.
Then, at the thought of his family, a bitter taste fills my mouth.
“Jonathan came over today,” I murmur. “He made it clear that he paid for my heart surgery when I was a kid just so he can destroy me whenever he wished. And oh, by the way, I just learnt it was never a heart condition. I was shot.”
Aiden takes two steps back and sits on a chair opposite the bed. It’s the first time he intentionally puts distance between us.
If it were the old Aiden, he’d invade my space and make me accept him even if I didn’t want to.
Being close is one of the intimidation methods he uses so well.
Not today, apparently.
Maybe I shocked him. But then again, Aiden is a mastermind, and usually a few steps ahead. Is it even possible to shock him?
His poker face doesn’t help.
“Drink. I made it the way you like, more chocolate, less milk.” He motions at the hot chocolate. “You need internal heat.”
“You knew about Jonathan’s plans, didn’t you?” My clutch stiffens against the cup. “Hell, you’ve been an accomplice all this time.”
“Drink your hot chocolate,” he repeats as if I didn’t hear him the first time.
“I won’t drink the damn thing!” I slam it not so gently on the nightstand. A few hot droplets burn my skin, but I don’t pay them attention.
What stings the most is the boy sitting across from me.
My heart bleeds at the thought that Aiden has only been with me according to Jonathan’s plan.
For some reason, I need to hear it from his mouth.
If I do, I’ll be able to hate him properly.
“Say it. You’re so almighty and don’t lie, right? So fucking say it, Aiden! Say that all of this has been a game.”
He remains in his chair but he glares at me down his nose as if he wants to strangle me.
Then his left eye twitches.
I should’ve run. I should’ve cowered away, but I didn’t.
Or more like I don’t get the chance.
Aiden stands and before I know it, he’s pinning me to the bed. His hand wraps around both my wrists and he slams them on the headboard above my head as he straddles my lap.
“A game.” He seethes. “Yes, Elsa, it was a game, but you refused to play by the fucking rules.”
“What rules?”
“My rules.”
I laugh, the sound humourless and a bit hysterical. “Your rules? Do those include destroying me like you said that first day we met?”
He says nothing and just continues looming over me like a grim reaper all complete with dark eyes and jet black hair.
“Were they your rules or Jonathan’s rules?” I mock. “Because he seems like the one who controls the game.”
“Jonathan doesn’t scare me, sweetheart.” He tightens his hold around my wrists. “And he shouldn’t scare you either.”
I scoff even though my heart bleeds open. “Are you starting another game, Aiden? Are you going to make me trust you again just so I’ll fall harder? That’s what Jonathan told Silver the other day, you know. He said that the prey ought to fall harder if she knows there’s no danger.”
“Don’t let them get between us. Forget about them.”
“Forget about them?” I shriek, angry tears rimming my eyes. “I already forgot many things, Aiden. I forgot about my parents and my brother. I forgot who I am for ten fucking years, so don’t you go telling me to forget about anything! Actually, no. There’s an exception. I’ll forget everything about you.”
“You’ll forget everything about me, huh?” His tone is calm but chilling.
“I will.” My heartbeat throbs with every word I say. “You used me and ridiculed me. I’m already a wreck. Are you happy now?”
His lips crush to mine. He kisses me with tenderness and passion that leaves me breathless.
A sob catches at the back of my throat. The tears I held onto for the whole day spill free.
He licks my bottom lip, coaxing me to open up.
Open up and do what? Be the same fool that I’ve been since the beginning of the year?
Fall for him all over again just to be hurt?
I bite his lower lip, but that only turns his kiss more savage.
He pulls on my band, releasing my hair and fists it in his hand. His tongue thrusts inside and claims mine. He kisses me until there’s no breath left in my lungs.
He finally pulls back and growls against my mouth, “There’s no forgetting about me, sweetheart. Is that fucking clear?”
“Then tell me the truth, Aiden! If you don’t, I swear to God, I’ll hate you.”
“You’ll hate me,” he repeats the words with menace, gripping my hair tighter.
Aiden doesn’t like to be threatened but screw him. He’s threatened me enough. It’s time he takes a taste of his own medicine.