Levi:Pretty sure she’s wearing titanium steel under her breasts, they’re so propped up. And she’s wearing a deep V-cut sweater. I know you don’t want details, but my dick is screaming right now.
Blakely:Ugh, God, is this what the men’s group text is like?
Penny:Pretty much. Just disgusting.
Winnie:Could you imagine us saying something like that? Oh, his pecs were bouncing so much, my clit was screaming.
Ollie:His bulge, oh his bulge. *drapes hand over forehead* My nipples were leaking they were so turned on.
Penny:The cake on that man. I nearly fainted into my own vagina from how turned on I was.
Blakely:Fainting into the vagina, that’s on point with what they’d say.
Levi:Can you really bend that far?
Penny:Posey! Focus!
Levi:You’re the ones talking about screaming clits and leaking nipples. Christ.
Winnie:Okay, let’s reel it in. Here are the facts. You told her you’re turned on and to put on a bra. She listened and doubled down and put on the atomic bomb of all bras.
Levi:You think she doubled down?
Penny:One thousand percent. This is a classic case of double downing.
Ollie:What is double downing?
Winnie:Where she was trying to accomplish a task, was caught, so she doubled down on said task to try to accomplish it further. Can’t imagine what a triple down would be.
Levi:Oh fuck, is that an option?
Penny:Triple down would be shirtless. Guaranteed.
Blakely:Ooo, or accidental tit pic text. “Ooops, didn’t mean to send that to you.”
Levi:I won’t survive a triple down. I know I won’t. How do I prevent the triple down?
Penny:Pretend the double down doesn’t affect you.
Levi:But I’m hard!
Ollie:Then take a freaking Xanax, for fuck’s sake. Honestly, how can you be that hard all the time? Did you not play with yourself last night?
Levi:I was too nervous to touch it. I didn’t want it to explode. The skin was really tight.
Blakely:*vomits*
Winnie:Dear God, Posey.
Ollie:Why am I a part of this again?
Penny:I’m going to need a lot more than a subpar cup of coffee and coffee cake to deal with this.
Levi:Subpar? Café Peppermint is anything but subpar. It’s like being transported into a Lovemark movie with the quirky shop owner and everything.
Penny:I’m leaving now. Just . . . hold it together while we think about why she’s double downing. Okay?
Levi:You’ll do that? You’ll brainstorm?
Ollie:If it means you’re not talking about your penis skin being tight anymore, then yes.
WYLIE
Wylie: The bra is working. He ran to his bedroom.
Sandie:He had no idea what was coming for him. Did he stare?
Wylie:His eyes practically fell out of his head.
Sandie:I’ve never been more proud.
Wylie:Thank you. Also, did you get the email I sent you last night with the designs?
Sandie:Yes, going to open them up when I’m not at work.
Wylie:Smart. Let me know what you think.
Sandie:Will do.
“Are you ready?” Levi says, returning to the living space with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.
“Yup. Have everything you need?”
“Yes. I, uh, I forgot to put deodorant on. What a stinky situation that would have been.” He nervously laughs, and it’s really cute.
“Oof, good thing you caught it. My dad hates stink.”
“He’s told us that. It’s why we have multiple equipment managers.” He gestures toward the front door, and I open it, stepping out first.
“I’m sure they’re not paid enough to handle your equipment.”
“They’re not,” he says while locking his door.
We both head to the elevator, where he presses the down button.
“You know, this building is an interesting find. Modern but also historic.”
I catch him lift his eyes from my chest as the elevator doors open. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure I’d like it at first because it doesn’t offer the same level of privacy that other buildings do, but the residents are really chill, and I like the parking situation. Plus, the layouts are much bigger. My unit is meant for a family of four, but I converted the one room into my office.”
“You did a great job. I love your place.”
“Thank you,” he says as the doors part to the parking garage. “The black Tesla right over there.”
“Oh, that’s right. You and the boys all have one.”
“Can’t remember who started it, but we all followed.”
He unlocks the car and, to my surprise, walks over to my door and opens it for me. I can tell the minute he realizes what he’s doing because he backs away from the door as if it’s on fire and stumbles to get away.
I inwardly chuckle as he rounds the front of the car and gets in on his side. When he’s settled, I say, “Thank you for taking me in. My friend Sandie picked me up from work, so we just left my car. I thought I’d be able to catch a ride, so I’m glad it all worked out.”
“Yeah, not a problem.” He clears his throat and puts his hand on my headrest, turns his body, and starts backing out of his car space, which I think is funny because he has a giant screen in front of him, showing him if there are any cars.
Either way, I like that he put his hand on the headrest. If only he’d put his hand on my thigh next.
“Are you excited about the game tonight? You’re playing the Freeze, right? Kind of a big rivalry.”
“Yeah, should be an interesting game.”
“I dated a guy who the Freeze drafted.”
“Who?” His head snaps to look at me.
“He doesn’t play with them anymore, so no need to get defensive.”
“I wasn’t getting defensive,” he says as his grip on the steering wheel loosens.
Uh-huh, not defensive at all.
“His name is Rocco Allen.”
“Hmm.” Levi thinks about it. “Can’t say I know who that is.”
“Well, he hasn’t made an impact on the hockey scene like you, so I’m not surprised you don’t know who he is.”
“You think I’ve made an impact in hockey?”