“Do you really still have one?” Blakely asks with a cringe to her nose.
“It’s a semi,” I reply.
Blakely makes a gagging expression.
“Hey,” I say. “That’s offensive. I’ll have you know, I have a nice penis. It might not be pierced like Silas’s or a girthy cannon like Halsey’s, or a baby maker like Eli’s or . . . whatever Pacey has, but it’s nice.”
“Pacey has a wonderful penis.” Winnie smiles to the group as if she just offered up a great show-and-tell item.
“Not something his sister needs to hear,” Penny says, causing Winnie to laugh.
Cutting in, I say, “For the record, my penis is amazing. There’s something secret about it that people don’t know, and I also have perfectly shaped balls. Bare balls. Hairless.”
They all study me, looks of confusion in their eyes.
Finally, Penny speaks up. “Going to skip over the hairless situation and ask. What do you mean there’s something secret about your penis?”
“Yeah, that’s confusing because now my mind is racing,” Ollie says. “Like . . . what kind of things are happening down there? Does a little man pop out of your penis when the lady comes, offering a congratulations to everyone involved?”
“That’s ridiculous. Of course not,” I say, but then think about what that little man might look like. Maybe he’s holding a pot of gold.
“Oh my God, he’s thinking about the little man,” Penny says.
“Am not,” I say petulantly even though I think he would have a pot of gold, but we’ll keep that between us.
“Then what is it?” Blakely asks.
“I’d prefer not to share.”
“You open our conversation with you have a boner, but you aren’t going to share what’s special about your penis?” Penny asks. “Make that make sense.”
“Some things are private, and I prefer to keep that private.”
Winnie leans forward to address all the women. “I bet he comes glitter.”
“Ooo, now that’s a trick,” Ollie says. “Is that what it is? Do you have glitter cum?”
“You know, under certain light, it does sparkle.” I tap my chin.
“Mother of God, I’m going to leave and tell Eli what’s going on if you don’t clue us in,” Penny says with the patience of a saint . . .
Please note the sarcasm.
“Fine, but this is in the circle of trust. We say nothing to the men in your lives. I’m serious, they can’t find out about anything we’re talking about because they won’t be helpful and will probably make the situation worse. The last thing I need is for one of them to say something around Coach Wood. Can I trust you all?”
They nod their heads, seeming genuine.
“Thank you.” I take a sip of my coffee and adjust my sunglasses. “My penis is tattooed.”
“What?” they all say together.
“How do the boys not know?” Blakely asks.
“You obviously see each other’s things in the shower, right?” Winnie cutely asks.
“We do, but my tattoo is on the underside.”
“Seriously?” Ollie asks. I nod, and she leans back in her chair, her eyes giving me a once-over. “Well, Levi Posey, you just got increasingly hotter in my eyes.”
“Thank you,” I reply with a smirk.
“Did you have to get hard for that?” Blakely asks.
“Yup.”
“And one prick of the needle didn’t deflate it?” Penny asks.
I shake my head. “Kind of thrive on pain.”
“Makes sense,” Winnie says. “Since you’re the bruiser of the team.” It’s true. Sometimes, I just want to be punched in the face. I like the adrenaline.
Is that healthy?
No, but it’s who I am.
“Wow, a tattooed penis. Never would have guessed the guy who eats bologna likes a tattooed dick.” Penny shakes her head.
“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” I say. “But we can learn more about each other later. Right now, I’m dealing with a crisis. Remember, the coach’s daughter?”
“Right,” Penny says. “So what has you hard all the time?”
“To sum it up, Coach Wood is forcing me to give her ridiculous tasks. I hate making her do things, but I have to report back to him, so I don’t have a choice. And of course he kicked her out of his house, and she was looking for a place to stay, so I offered her the nanny bedroom in my apartment, which is a hole, and I hate that she lives there when I have a perfectly good guest room, but Coach Wood said she couldn’t stay with me, so I’m breaking the rules, but I couldn’t let her not have a place to live, but now that she lives with me, well . . . she’s walking around the apartment in tight T-shirts with no bras, and wearing my shirts, and wet towels, and nipples on my bicep, and touching, and her smile, and she smells so good, and holy fuck my brain is about to explode.”
Blakely presses her hand to my shoulder. “Deep breaths, Posey.”
“Deep breaths don’t work!” I practically shout. “Meadows don’t work. Or cotton-candy skies. All I see are her breasts day in and day out, bouncing toward me. I want them in my mouth. I want to play with them. Fuck them. Watch them unravel from her present bra!”
“Okay, okay,” Penny says in a calming voice. “I can see that you’re getting yourself worked up. Let’s not draw attention to the lady in the bucket hat and scarf.” She glances around the café. Yep, people are looking toward us.
Right, trying to keep it incognito.
On a sad and heavy sigh, I say, “I just . . . I want her.”
“We can tell,” Winnie says.
I look up at all of them and say, “And I swear on my left nut that she’s fucking with my head on purpose. She knows how much I want her but can’t have her.”
“Why do you say that?” Blakely asks.
“Because she’s always in my apartment now. She’s walking around wearing practically nothing. She’s touching me. She’s getting close but not intimate, and it’s driving me nuts. And worst of all . . .” I take a deep breath, lower my sunglasses to the tip of my nose, and say, “She loves bologna.”
A collective gasp falls over the group, all the women with slack jaws and blinking eyes.
“Oh dear God,” Winnie whispers, leaning back.
“Fuck,” Ollie says.
“Well, that’s . . . wow.” Penny shakes her head.
“Did not see that coming,” Blakely adds. “Now I understand the boner.”
“It all makes sense,” Ollie says.
“See? Do you see what I’m dealing with? And I don’t know how to handle it. I refuse to take care of the boner because I know I’ll picture her, and the minute I picture her, it will make my need for her ten times worse.”
“Wait, you’re not jacking off?” Penny asks.
I shake my head. “My perfectly shaped balls are a midnight blue at this point.”
“Posey.” Ollie leans in and places her hand on the table. “Dude, you have to take care of the boner, even if you picture her. You can’t be this backed up and function intelligently.”
“She’s right,” Penny says. “After I gave birth to Holden, Eli said he wouldn’t do anything sexual because I couldn’t do anything for at least six weeks. After two weeks, he was dazed, confused, and didn’t know how to put shoes on anymore. I decided to take care of it for him. I hate to admit it, but you have to jerk off to get through this.”
“But . . . I’m going to envision her.”
“Then live through your fantasies,” Ollie says. “But for the love of God, take care of it.”
“And if you need to, maybe watch some porn. That might distract you,” Winnie says.
I roll my teeth over my bottom lip. “Okay, but what do I do in the meantime? This feeling I have for her, it’s not going to go away.”
“Have you told her that she’s making you hard?” Blakely asks. “A little communication might help.”
“I don’t want to sound like an asshole who can’t keep it together if she goes braless.”
“But you are the asshole who can’t keep it together when she goes braless,” Penny says.
“I know, but she doesn’t need to know that.”
“Maybe set ground rules again,” Winnie says. “And honestly, you can just say, hey, I appreciate everything you’re doing, but I have to say, you’re really hot and making me hard when you walk around without a bra. I don’t want to be a creep, but I thought you should know.”
“That’s a nice way to put it,” Ollie says. “I’d put on a bra even though I hate them.”
“Yeah, I’d strap up too,” Blakely says. “I think that’s a great way to approach it.”
I look at Penny, the mother of the group. She sips her coffee and then says, “I approve.”
“Okay.” I nod and let out a deep breath. “Then I shall tell her she’s making me hard.”
“Great.” Penny looks around. “Are we done here?”
Chapter Nine
WYLIE
Sandie:I can’t believe he added a scarf to the outfit.
Wylie:It took everything in me not to burst out in laughter.
Sandie:Oh girl, erotic torture is in full swing.
Wylie:Yup. He has no idea how to handle it, and I’m loving every second of it.
Knock. Knock.
I look at my door and then down at my shirtless self. God, imagine what he would do if I told him to come in right now. He might pass out.
Not wanting to do that, I grab the shirt I borrowed from him last night and throw it over my head while I prop myself up in bed.
“Come in,” I call out.
The door opens, and Levi steps into the room wearing a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved fitted black shirt, with his hair styled in a messy way.
When his large body consumes the small space, I get a whiff of his masculine, woodsy cologne and nearly melt right there on my bed.
I might be making it hard on him, but he sure as hell is making it hard on me too.
“Good morning,” I say in a cheery voice. “Can I help you? Did I forget something?”
He shakes his head and looks around the space. “It, uh, it looks great in here. Very cozy.”
“Oh, thank you,” I say. “I’m very happy with it and very grateful you offered me the space.”
“Not a problem.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets and rocks on his heels.
“Can I help you with something?” I ask.
“Yeah, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Sure.” I pat the end of the bed. “Have a seat.”
He glances at the bed, back at me, and then at the bed again. “You know, I think it would be best if I stay standing.”
“Not a problem,” I say. “What’s going on?”
“Well, this is a little awkward, but I wanted to be honest with you.”
“Oh,” I say as I lift the blankets off me and shimmy out of the bed to a standing position. “Am I not doing my job the way you want me to?” I move in close to him, and he moves back, bumping into my wall.
“Uh, no, you’re doing great work. Keep it up.”
“Okay, then what is it?”