“I thought I had the perks of being the son and getting to read early.” There’s a lot of buzz going on about Mum’s upcoming book, and like any of her other fans, I can’t wait to get my hands on the masterpiece. Mum has a way of titillating the human mind without romanticising it. I fell for her writing since the time I stole her first book and read it in Aiden’s house.
She laughs. “Fine. I’ll give you a copy the same time I send it to my agent. Happy?”
“Yes. Now, have you eaten?” Mum forgets her pills and her meals when she’s on a tight deadline, and I have to constantly remind her of them. Silver has been taking on that role, too.
Mum’s had insomnia lately, but that’s only because she’s been writing. She always seems to backpedal a little when she’s on a deadline. Her therapist told me it’s nothing to worry about, because she’s stressed and will eventually go back to normal once she makes sure she’s met her deadline.
“I have.” She comes close and pats my cheek. “Look at my little boy grown into a man. Have I told you I’m proud of you today?”
“You just did.”
“Where’s Silver?” She stares behind me. “I was planning to make some lasagne for dinner.”
“She told Sebastian she’s staying with her mum.” I grin. “Let’s make it a date for two?”
Her expression falls since she’s all about family gatherings, but then she smiles again. “Absolutely.”
I’m about to leave her be, but I stop at the door and turn around. “Mum?”
“Yeah?” She glances at me over her shoulder.
“Are you happy? With Sebastian, I mean.” I would say yes. He’s attentive and gives her the space she needs, but the devil in me wants her answer to be ‘no’ so bad, it’s disgusting.
“Why, of course.” Her face breaks into another warm, gutting smile. “I finally have the family I’ve dreamt of.”
“I’m happy for you, Mum.” I’m not.
Yes, I want Mum to smile more, and she has since we moved in here, but now I’m starting to have regrets.
I’m starting to think, what if I hadn’t agreed when she first told me about Sebastian? What if I’d told her no instead of hoping they’d eventually get tired of each other and break up?
And the funny part is, I don’t do what-ifs. I’m the type who doesn’t look back on past events but chooses to face forward instead.
However, there has always been an exception to my rules.
Her.
My Butterfly.
My chaos.
I stand outside of her room for a second, but choose to go into mine.
While her Chanel scent helps me sleep at night, it’s also a form of torture to imagine her there when she’s not.
I change into a pair of home trousers and a T-shirt, then sit on my bed, lean on one hand, and open my book of choice again.
Nausea.
Could be because I’m feeling a sense of nausea myself, or that I’m about to go into a different type of nausea.
I should probably read history instead of focusing on someone else’s existential crisis. Just when I’m about to go with that idea, my door barges open. I expect it to be Mum, but she doesn’t barge doors open.
Slowly, I lift my head to find those blue eyes — furious, dark blue, like a storm.
Silver stands at the threshold of my room. Her denim dress’s straps are falling off her pale shoulders. Her golden hair is all over her back and in her face.
She slams the door shut and strides towards me as if hell is resting on her head.
She came back and she’s in my room. Silver never comes into my room unless Mum or Sebastian ask her to call for me. And she usually disappears all too soon.
“Miss me?” I smile, still gripping my book.
“Miss you?” Her voice raises. “More like, I’m here to choke the life out of you.”
“Huh. I thought I was the only one into choking.”
She thrusts her phone into my face. It’s a conversation between her and Aiden from not so long ago.
Aiden: Nash fucked Johansson from the track team.
Silver:What the fuck?
Aiden: I thought you should know.
That fucker.
He must know what I told Elsa, which I expected, considering Xander was there and Elsa looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.
What I didn’t expect was his childish ways of retaliating.
The joke’s on him, though. His text brought Silver straight to my room.
I’m the one who burned the ships. The enemy is in front of her and the sea is behind her.
“When was this?” she blurts. “How dare you fuck her?”
“I don’t see why I shouldn’t.” I pretend to be bored. “You have a fiancé. Why can’t I have a fuck buddy?”
Her lips part. They tremble before she seals them into a line, and I know, I just know that I won’t like what she’ll say next.
“I’m going to get a fuck buddy, too.”
“Funny.” I force a smile. “We both know you’re too conservative for that.”
“Well, you made me less conservative on Papa’s fucking wedding day, so I guess I have no principles anymore.” She flips her hair. “I’ll send pictures.”
I jump forwards and drag her by the arm so hard, she squeals as she falls back on the bed.
I hover over her, pinning both her wrists to the mattress while my knees are on either side of her waist.
She stares up at me with wild, huge eyes that are puffy. She’s been crying, all alone, in dark corners, so no one — not even her mother — would see her pain.
Silver and her fucking phobia about image are starting to grate on my nerves.
“Let me go,” she speaks in a clear, firm tone. “I’m done playing your games, Cole.”
“Games.” I push into her, causing her lips to part as my hard dick digs into her stomach. I didn’t bother with underwear so she can feel every detail. “Does this look like a fucking game to you?”
“Well, apparently it is,” she says in the same tone, even though she clenches her thighs. “I won’t be your side dish or your toy.”
“Sounds like jealousy to me.”
“Fuck you, Cole. Okay? Let’s see who’s jealous when I go find myself another dick.”
“Another dick?” My jaw tightens. “You think that will ever happen in this life?”
“You can’t watch me twenty-four-seven.”