I tried the actual date her parents finalised their divorce, which is easy to find on the internet, but that didn’t work either.
The right one is the day she learnt about her parents’ divorce, which, ironically, happens to also be William’s death anniversary.
In the drawer, she has ten journals. One for each year. Some days, she talks a lot, on others, she only writes two words.
I pull out this year’s journal. Since yesterday, I haven’t stopped thinking about what she could’ve written about last night.
When she drove her Mum home, I did sneak a peek, but she hadn’t written an entry yet. Then she returned and didn’t leave her room.
I flip to the last entry. Yesterday.
Today was Papa’s wedding and my eighteenth birthday.
Mum cried and I felt so guilty for liking Helen when Mum clearly doesn’t.
Cole took my virginity today. He just took it and it was so dirty.
Remember when I said I hate Cole? Well, I don’t only hate him.
I despise him.
I wish he would disappear from my life.
I narrowmy eyes on her words. She hates me, despises me, wishes I’d disappear from her life.
Fuck that.
It’s the same as every entry she writes about me. Why does she refuse to admit the truth, even to her bloody journal? She does that with everything else.
When she talks about her parents, her life at school, or even how much she misses Kim, she says it truthfully, but every time it’s about me, it’s all fucking lies.
We’ll see about that.
I place her journal exactly the way I found it, close the drawer, and put the combination back to zeroes.
The sound of the shower is still going. I turn the door’s knob and remove my clothes on my way inside her bathroom.
As soon as I’m at the entrance, soft moans stop me with my fingers on my trousers’ buttons.
I stand there and watch the most exquisite view I’ve seen in my entire life.
Silver stands under the stream in all her naked glory. I might have seen the occasional nip slip over the years, or her underwear when she forgot to tuck her legs together when wearing a skirt, but I’ve never seen her entirely naked.
And fuck me, why haven’t I done this before?
Her tits sit high and perky, droplets of water clinging to the hard pink tips, begging to be licked off. Water soaks her golden hair as it glues to the entirety of her back.
Her smooth waist and long legs are like a porn fantasy. But that’s not the best part about the scene – it’s her hand disappearing in and out of her cunt as she reaches her other hand to tug on a nipple.
Eyes closed, her head is thrown back, letting the steam soak her. White straight teeth trap her bottom lip to rein in the moans.
It’s not working.
The slight noise she’s making turns my dick rock fucking hard, if that’s even possible, considering it was already ready when I walked in the room.
Yesterday, I signed a no-going-back oath and today, I’m keeping it.
Silver
I’m supposed to take a quick shower and join Papa and his team. They’re going to discuss strategy and I want to be there.
The moment I’m under the stream, I start thinking. That’s what I do when I’m in the shower — I think. A lot.
Some people sing, but I become a damn bundle of thoughts. Maybe it’s the stream of water or the peace of the moment, but it always pushes me to think again about my decisions and choices.
It’s my second favourite place after the park. Peace, cleanliness, and a clear head.
Only, it’s not clear.
One thing keeps barging to mind…those dark green eyes, his voice and the authority in it.
End. It.
Screw him. I didn’t end it. Aiden and I are on the same side. As long as I keep benefitting him, he’ll do the same.
I even paid a visit to a certain girl who’s been writing him love letters. Cole, not Aiden. Who the hell even writes love letters anymore? Is she from a century ago or something?
Anyway, I told her he has a condition, you know, like a dick condition. She thinks he can’t get it up. I only meant that he’s a dickhead, but hey, as long as it worked, I’m not complaining.
Then I caught myself smirking when she walked away, thinking no one will get to see his dick anyway. That’s when I realised I’m going off track again. I’m sabotaging any sliver of a relationship he has with the other sex.
He’s making me lose my sanity along with my better judgement.
The wanker.
And yet, the only images that keep playing in my head are of yesterday. Me against the table while he yanked my dress up.
My hand sneaks down my stomach and to between my thighs. I’m wet, and it’s not just because of the water.
A shallow breath leaves me as I thrust a finger inside. I’m still tender and a bit sore.
I recall the way he spanked me while he held me down by the nape. He took my will, my choice, and I got even wetter for him.
My nipples pucker, painfully so, and I close my eyes and roll my head back. I twirl one tight bud between my fingers and tug on it. A moan tries to escape, but I trap it in like I did when he was touching me. His hands and body and chest covered me whole until he was all I felt.
I remember the first time he thrust into me, the force of it, and add another finger, tumbling over with the power of the thrust. I imagine it’s him, pounding into me, whispering dirty words into my ears, telling me I’m his, and my pace picks up.
My pounds turn harsher and I’m hurting my nipple, pinching it with my fingernails until it screams in pain.
I’ve touched myself before, and he’s always been the image I’ve pictured. Him half-naked by the pool. Him sweaty and rugged and freaking delectable after practice. Him running and scoring and being a god on the field.
But I’ve never wanted to inflict pain with it.
After yesterday, that’s all I want. The slight sting of pain that comes with pleasure. The power that comes with being completely at his mercy.
I plunge my fingers quicker, my moans filling the silence of the bathroom.
Oh, God.
The force of whatever is building inside me frightens even me. My legs tremble and my poor nipple begs to be put out of its misery.
My eyes roll back, causing my lids to open a little.
That’s when I see someone.
No. Not someone.
Him.
In the middle of my bathroom.
For a moment, I think he’s a manifestation of my imagination. That I somehow thought about him hard enough I managed to bring him to life in 3D format.
But then the rest of the scene registers. He’s naked.
There’s not one piece of clothing covering his body.
I’ve always wondered about how he’d look naked and it escaped me every time.
And now, there he is, in all his glory. Cole isn’t as muscular as Xander. He’s leaner and has a quiet beauty about him. Even his wide chest and six-pack appears demure in an irresistible type of way.
Due to playing football, his thighs and long legs are powerful and taut. His chest muscles contract with the way his hand is gripping his cock.
I felt it yesterday — and keep feeling it today — but it’s the first time I’ve seen his dick. It’s so big, I’m both appalled and amazed that it fit inside me. I couldn’t look away from it or him even if I wanted to.
And I do want to. I just can’t avert my gaze.
He’s touching himself.
Cole is naked and he’s touching himself.
His hand tugs up and down his dick, and for some stupid, irrational reason, I hate his hand right now.
That was me yesterday. It should be me now, not his hand.
My fingers move inside me at a slower pace, my eyes drooping as if they’re about to close.
That’s when the entire situation filters into my dazed brain. The fact that I’m masturbating in front of Cole. The fact he’s doing the same while watching me.
He’s in my bathroom.
I gasp, letting my hands fall to either side of me despite my body’s protests, and swiftly turn around. “W-what are you doing here? G-get out.”
There’s no power behind my voice, no matter how much I wish for it. My heart beats loud and fast. The tender skin between my legs is aching, demanding the release I just interrupted. My nipples throb, close to cutting something with how hard they are.
No movement comes from Cole. The sound of water is the only thing in the bathroom. I swallow through my broken breaths.
Did he leave?
Why the hell is my chest falling at that idea?
I need some therapy because I shouldn’t be feeling this out of sorts whenever he’s in sight. Is it because he became my stepbrother? Am I acting this way because my will was taken by our parents’ marriage and I missed the timing?
Do I only crave him this much because I can’t have him?
That must be why, because the fact that my heart is nearly bursting out of my chest doesn’t make any damn sense.
I slowly take a peek over my shoulder.
Goosebumps erupt all over my wet skin, the hot water doing nothing to alleviate it.
Cole stands right behind me. He’s close enough that I smell his scent, spice and his lime gum. Close enough that I get trapped in his warmth. Close enough that he’s drenched, his silky hair becoming soaked and sticking to his forehead. Close enough that streams of water drip down his pectoral muscles and down, down —
I snap my attention back to his eyes, refusing to be caught spying on his dick.
“What did I tell you about giving me your back, Butterfly?” he murmurs near the shell of my ear.
My eyes fight to shut at the shiver he’s erupting on my skin.