CHAPTER 22
Grace
Igot back to working at the food truck two days after the cafeteria incident.
I couldn’t afford the luxury of taking time off, even if that was exactly what I wanted to do. Luckily, Karlie had taken care of the West situation and had him fired faster than twice-struck lightning.
On Wednesday, I threw a farewell party for Marla. It was the least she deserved. It was the same day I finally asked her to tell West to get off my case and stay the heck away. I didn’t know what kind of cruel game he was playing. Not only had he put a sword into my heart, breaking it in half for everyone to see, but he’d been driving around my block every day, making sure I was reminded of what I’d lost.
He did take a step back after Marla gave him the shotgun spiel, but that didn’t stop him from shooting me looks whenever we crossed paths at Sheridan University.
I didn’t know what he wanted from me. If he didn’t like being my enemy—why did he make me one?
“The way he looks at you …” Karlie let loose a vindictive grin when we sat at the cafeteria on Thursday, a day before the fight. She tore a packet of hot sauce open and poured it over her basket of Doritos. “How does it feel to have the most unattainable man at Sheridan University at your feet?”
“Pretty crappy,” I admitted.
What I didn’t admit was that I had the nagging feeling West wasn’t the only person to watch me.
That there was more. That I was being followed. I couldn’t pinpoint what made me feel that way exactly, but the lingering feeling of danger hung in the air, bloated and hot. Like someone wished me harm.
Of course, telling this to Karlie without backing it up with facts was just overdramatic.
“Well, if you want a silver lining, here’s something to think about—with the way he is staring at you, there’s no doubt who really did the dumping.”
But West’s misery didn’t comfort me one bit. It only made me hate him more for doing this to us for no reason.
As if things weren’t reaching an alarming level of weirdness, Tess had begun to hang out with Karlie and me. I didn’t stop it from happening. I was too emotionally exhausted to shoo her away. And she seemed genuine. Like she was back to being the girl I liked before West laid his eyes on me.
Maybe she was growing up.
Maybe we were all growing up.
I knew I certainly was, with the next decision I made.
“All right, Grams, it’s showtime. You ready?”
I pushed the Chevy’s door open on Saturday morning. I had to cancel Friday’s rehearsal to spend the evening packing away all of Grams’ belongings, with the help of Karlie and Marla.
Everything was last-minute, but when we got the call about the vacancy, we couldn’t waste time.
Heartland Gardens Nursing Home was situated right outside of Austin. I actually found its brochure in one of the thick stacks West had left on my desk. It was full of glossy pictures of botanical gardens, open spaces, and fun activities, and offered dancing classes and bingo nights. It even had a small church. It was rated one of the best places in the state for people who were suffering from health issues, dementia, and other cognitive disorders.
In fact, the place specialized in taking care of people with Alzheimer’s. And the real kicker was I never really bothered looking at the stack, but West had not only found me potential nursing homes, he’d also called each of them and gave them a rundown of the situation. There’d been a note attached to the brochure.
T,
I did some digging. Called the place, took your insurance card out of Mrs. S’s purse, and ran a check. Your insurance covers most of the cost for this one. If Mrs. S goes through her tests and the results determine she needs assisted living, you’re gold.
—W.
Sadly, I knew that the tests would turn back positive. So I gave Heartland Gardens a call. The director answered and we did a virtual tour, after which I drove up to see the place for myself. Grams had been mostly out of it that week, but in the hours she was lucid, she’d asked about West.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was never going to see him again.
“So. Whaddaya think?” I tried to make myself sound playful, happy, now that Grams and I were in front of her new home. I still couldn’t believe my luck in securing an immediate spot.
Grams slid out of the passenger seat as I grabbed her suitcases and bags from the bed of the truck, examining the regal, alabaster exterior of the place.
It looked like a small mansion. Manicured, lush front lawns, a tennis court, a pool, and impeccably tended flowers.
There were individual, luxurious cabins speckled around the main building, but since Grams required assisted living, she was going to reside in the main property, in a room that looked very much like a five-star hotel apartment.
“I think …” She looked around us, her mouth falling open. Lord, I prayed she was coherent enough to understand what was going on, and that she didn’t despise me for making the executive decision. “I think we absolutely cannot afford this, Gracie-Mae.”
I whipped my head toward her.
Gracie-Mae?
Miraculously, I found my voice.
“We can. All we need is to run some tests. And if it turns out that you—” I stopped, taking a deep breath—“that you qualify, which both the director of this place and I think you will, you’ll be given a special grant from this foundation. I’ve already talked to them. Don’t you worry about the details, Grams.”
It would probably cost me half of what I’d been paying to Marla, who constantly worked overtime, and anyway, that was exactly why we had money put aside.
Grams glared at the place with childish awe, her wrinkly hand pressed over her heart. I wished she would say something, anything, to give me the faintest idea of what was going through her head. I knew I could no longer look after her at home. Not just for me. For her, too.
She needed to be cared for professionally.
And she needed company.
She needed to interact with people her age and to move far away from the town of Sheridan—a town haunted by memories that broke her heart and soul.
My mother.
My dead grandfather.
The fire.
And perhaps even me.
“Oh, Gracie-Mae …” She clutched the top of her dress, bowing her head down. To my surprise, tears formed on the edges of her eyes, threatening to spill over. “This is beautiful. I don’t know if I deserve all this. This is too fancy. They’ll probably think I’m a hick.”
“Grams!” I chided, feeling like we were the old us, and for the first time, realizing that we weren’t—never would be—and that it was okay, too.
“What?
“They’ll be lucky to have you.”
“Not sure they’ll survive your grandmomma, sugar, but that ain’t my problem.”
A pretty, middle-aged nurse in a baby blue uniform rushed toward us from the automatic doors, picking up our suitcases.
“Hello! Mrs. Shaw?” She smiled at Grams brightly, her chestnut ponytail swinging in perfect harmony with her sunshine approach. “My name is Nurse Aimee, and I’m here to help you settle in. We are so excited to finally meet you. Your roommate, Ethel, is waiting for you. She is quite the firecracker, but your granddaughter is telling me so are you. I’ve a feeling you’re going to get along just fine.”
Something moved over Grams’ face.
A mixture of excitement and shyness I hadn’t seen before.
I ushered her in, holding her hand. She looked around timidly, like she was unwelcome. I realized, in our town, she wasn’t. That’s what she’d come to expect from people. The condemnation of being the mother of Courtney Shaw and the grandmother of the freak who’d set her own house on fire.
This was her own chance for rebirth. To become a phoenix. To start over, spread her wings and fly.
Why had I waited this long? What was I so scared of? Why couldn’t I give her the gift of being treated the way she deserved?
Because I felt guilty. And guilt drives you to do mad things, as West proved to me.
Nurse Aimee led us to the reception area, where she entertained Grams while I went through all the paperwork with the director in the back office one more time.
Every time I glanced at Grams and Aimee through the glass window of the office, my heart was about to burst.
That was how I knew I’d done the right thing.
I spent six hours in Heartland Gardens, helping Grams settle into her new room. Her roommate, Ethel, was indeed there, for all of ten minutes, quickly greeting her hello, asking if she needed any help, and when Grams said her beautiful granddaughter had it covered, Ethel excused herself and dashed out, because she didn’t want to miss the hot yoga class.
“I’m not ashamed to say I am completely enamored with a certain gentleman.” She winked at my grandmother. Grams’ eyebrows shot up to her silver curls.
“I didn’t know people here are datin’.”
“Oh, they are, sometimes. But I’m talkin’ about the thirty-year-old fitness instructor! He’s the one we’re drooling over.”
Nurse Aimee, Grams, and Ethel all burst out laughing. I grinned to myself, folding all her clothes in her closet and arranging her toiletries on her nightstand the way she liked them.
Saying goodbye was the hardest part. I knew it was time to leave, but I didn’t want to go before I knew what her reaction would be when she was the other Grams. The one who still thought I was Courtney or the Devil’s daughter.
“Just go. It’s not going to get any easier if you stick around to see the meltdown. And the meltdown will come. They always do. Besides, right after we get those test results back, we can adjust her medicine accordingly, and her mood swings will subside,” Aimee reassured me.
I wanted to tell her Grams was taking no medicine whatsoever for her condition but ended up just nodding. She was right. I couldn’t keep Grams under wraps from the world forever.
Still, when I got back into the pickup, all I did for the first ten minutes was stare at the facility and let the guilt consume me. Grandma Savvy had raised me. She’d been the only mother I’d ever known. And now I was going to see her over the weekends, only for brief visits. I wouldn’t live with her anymore. It was the end of an era.
I reached for my glove compartment and took out something Karlie had written to me. A letter she’d asked me to open only after I was done today. I guess she wanted to make sure I’d see it through.
I removed the letter from the envelope.
Shaw,
You did the right thing. I’m proud of you. Now take off that broken flame ring. You are better than holding on to the ashes of your mother.
#PhoenixForTheWin.
—Karlie.
My eyes filled with tears. I did as she asked. Took off the ring and placed it in the envelope, resealing it. The paper between my fingertips was wet with my tears. I put it away on the passenger seat, sniffing and reaching for my phone for the first time in hours.
I swiped my finger across the screen, and my breath caught in my throat.
Twenty-five unanswered calls.
Easton Braun.
Maybe: Tess Davis.
Karlie Contreras.
Blocked Number.
There were text messages, too:
Easton Braun: It’s Easton. Tried to call you.
Easton Braun: Pls call me back.
Easton Braun: It’s an emergency. Please.
Tess Davis: Did you hear about West???
Tess Davis: Aren’t you going to do something about it?
Karlie: You need to call me when you see this.
Easton Braun: PICK UP THE GODDAMN PHONE GRACE.
Tess Davis: Let me know if you need to talk. <3
Karlie: Seriously. The world is imploding and you’re probably playing bingo with Agnes and Elmer over there, Shaw.
I deliberately hadn’t checked my phone today, because I didn’t want any interruptions, and I definitely didn’t want to know the outcome of West’s fight with Appleton.
Finally, I snapped out of my shock and decided to call Easton. I knew he was the person who was most likely to be next to West, so it made sense to call him first.
He picked up before the line even connected. So fast I was pretty sure we were calling each other at the same time.
“Hello? Easton? It’s Grace.”
“Grace!” he bellowed, sounding out of breath. I heard his footsteps squeaking on a linoleum floor. “Jesus Christ, the whole world has been looking for you.”
“Is he okay?” Despite my best efforts, my voice shook.
I didn’t want to care.
Then Easton asked the one question no recipient of bad news wants to hear.
“Are you sitting down?”