CHAPTER 25
Ollie vB
The bride looked exquisite.
Romeo Costa
Bleach your eyeballs immediately.
She wasn’t yours to look at.
Ollie vB
So did her sister.
Romeo Costa
Jailbait.
Ollie vB
Come on, Rom.
We both know I’m too rich to see a prison cell from the inside.
Zach Sun
Can someone remove the ghost of David Bowie from the chat?
Romeo Costa removed Ollie vB from the chat.
Zach Sun
Why do I always feel like I need a long, scorching shower after talking to Ollie?
Romeo Costa
Because he is sexual harassment packed into a Tom Ford suit?
Zach Sun
Is Denver excited about Paris?
Romeo Costa
I’ve met cats more excited about their baths.
Zach Sun
Have you considered trying to get along with her?
Romeo Costa
Not once.
Zach Sun
Is there a long version to this answer?
Romeo Costa
I think that ship sailed the day I dragged her by the ear to a state she doesn’t know, to live in a house she doesn’t like, and marry a man she actively hates.
Ollie vB has entered the chat.
Romeo Costa
How did that just happen?
Ollie vB
I have a software engineer on retainer.
@ZachSun hooked me up a few months ago when I had to deal with a dick-pic crisis.
Zach Sun
A crisis aptly titled .Mobi Dick.
Romeo Costa
ON RETAINER?
Ollie vB
@ZachSun, your copywriting talent is heartbreakingly wasted.
Romeo Costa
I repeat: ON RETAINER?
Ollie vB
You’d be surprised how often I get myself into hot water with some of the content I share.
Romeo Costa
Something tells me I would not be surprised at all.
Ollie vB
So, is little Townsend taken?
Romeo Costa
LITTLE TOWNSEND IS STILL IN FUCKING COLLEGE.
Ollie vB
I hate to say this, Costa, but you’ve always been a prude. Right, Zach?
Zach Sun left the chat.
Romeo Costa left the chat.
Ollie vB
So dramatic.
I bet my fifth yacht the girl is eighteen.