CHAPTER 16
Ollie vB
How is Delaware settling in?
Romeo Costa
Dallas.
Ollie vB
What is a show my grandmother was fond of?
Romeo Costa
We’re not playing Jeopardy, you mediocre man child.
Her name is Dallas.
Zach Sun
That’s quite unfortunate for her.
But not as unfortunate as marrying your ass.
Ollie vB
@ZachSun, agreed.
That girl must’ve been in the Judenrat in a previous life to deserve this kind of karma.
Zach Sun
Mussolini’s right hand.
Ollie vB
*Mussolini’s jerk-off hand.
Romeo Costa left the chat.
Ollie vB added Romeo Costa to the chat.
Zach Sun
Is she still feeding you enough shit to cover the Northern Hemisphere?
Ollie vB
I’m never going to unsee the picture of Romeo turning blue when she wiggled her little ass on his lap.
Boss bitch move.
Zach Sun
Or when Rom threw a hissy fit after she hit on the co-pilot.
His self-control evaporated quicker than a thought in Ollie’s brain.
Romeo Costa
She did not hit on the co-pilot.
She was just being difficult.
Brat is her entire personality.
Ollie vB
Have you consummated your engagement yet?
Romeo Costa
Are you familiar with human customs?
There is nothing to consummate until marriage.
Ollie vB
Yikes.
That’s a definite no.
Romeo Costa
A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.
Ollie vB
Asshole, please.
Drop the gentleman charade.
I’ve met dildos more honorable than you.
Zach Sun
@OllievB, you’ve met dildos?
Socially or intimately?
Or both?
Romeo Costa
I cannot believe nearly two decades of education in America’s finest establishments bred me you two as best friends.
Ollie vB
I’ll have you know I’m a fucking delight and a top-notch friend.
And I’m happy to prove it.
Shall I break her in for you?
Romeo Costa
Joke about it one more time, and I’ll personally cut off your dick and feed it to you, bite by bite, until you choke on it.
Zach Sun
Hissy fit #2 duly recorded and entered into the meeting’s minutes.
The woman turned you into an ape.
Ollie vB
…
Is that a no?