Sloane
When it rained, it poured.
Apparently, bad news didn’t observe the holidays, because after I returned to the office, I’d gotten slammed with crisis after crisis. Jillian had checked into Perry’s parting warning about Asher and found a video of Asher and Vincent DuBois getting into a fistfight. It hadn’t hit the wider internet yet, and I’d spent a good two hours ensuring it never would.
Once I put out that fire, I’d had to deal with panicked calls from a CEO who’d been caught banging a restaurant hostess in a bathroom stall, a movie star who’d been arrested for attacking a paparazzo, and a socialite who’d left her limited-edition Dior bag somewhere between Paris and New York (I’d redirected her to her assistant. I didn’t get paid enough to hunt down transatlantic luxury bag losses).
It was my busiest workday of the year, and by the time I caught my breath, it was ten at night. I’d sent Jillian home hours ago, so it was just me, a sad dinner of instant ramen, and the ominous countdown to midnight.
Two hours.
I swallowed a mouthful of greasy noodles. My migraine had worsened since lunch, but that didn’t stop me from doom scrolling on social media to avoid thinking about Xavier.
Yesterday, his presence had filled the room. Today, the office felt empty without him, like a film stripped of its soul.
One hour and forty-five minutes.
I gave up eating and tossed the remaining cold noodles in the trash. I’d finished my work, so why was I here instead of at home, enjoying a nice movie with a glass of wine?
Because the Empire State Building is a twenty-minute walk away.
Because going home means you’ve made your choice.
Because this is the last place you saw him, and you feel closer to him here than anywhere else.
I groaned and dug the heels of my palms against my eyes.
If only I had a magic eight ball to tell me what to do. I’d always prided myself on my decisive nature, but when it came to Xavier, I was a mess.
He drove me up the wall sometimes, but he challenged me like no one else did. He pushed me outside my comfort zone while making me feel safe enough to do so, and he’d made me laugh, cry, and feel more than anyone else I’d ever met.
Younger me had been convinced that what I’d had with Bentley was love, but it wasn’t until Xavier that I realized Bentley had been a mere prologue to the real story.
Me and Xavier, the most unlikely of couples. Opposites in so many ways, yet similar in so many others. He knew every part of me intimately—mind, body, and heart—and he loved me not despite but because of my flaws.
We’d seen each other at our worst, yet we’d fallen in love anyway.
A marble fist grabbed my chest and squeezed.
There’s no catch. Believe it or not, not everyone is out to get you all the time. Caroline’s voice wormed its way into my consciousness.
I never thought there’d be a day when she said anything helpful, but sitting there alone, in my dark office, while the man I loved waited for me minutes away, her words struck hard.
There’s no catch.
I was afraid it’d hurt more if Xavier and I broke up down the road, after I’d gotten more attached, but I was already in love with him, and it already hurt so much I couldn’t think straight. I’d cried for the first time in my life, and I was eating instant ramen alone in my office at night, for Christ’s sake.
The same office where we’d met.
The same office where he’d given me the ultimatum.
The same office where I’d told Georgia the truth about Bentley. I thought I’d broken free of the hold Bentley’s betrayal had on my decisions, but clearly I hadn’t. I was still so afraid of getting hurt that I was willing to let a hypothetical scenario drive away the one man that I could see myself having a future with.
Don’t run away from what could be because you’re afraid of what might be.
If I were honest with myself, I knew we could work. Xavier was the only one who got me, who fit into my life seamlessly yet somehow made it better, and without him, all my days would be like this.
Lonely, alone, and aching for something I could’ve had but let slip through my fingers.
“God, I’m an idiot,” I breathed.
My body made the decision a split second before my brain did. I grabbed my coat and rushed out the door before I’d truly processed what I was doing. I just knew that I had to get to the top of the Empire State Building. Right now.
Luckily, the late hour meant I didn’t have to wait for the elevator to stop on every floor during the ride down. I had plenty of time to—
The lights flickered once, and the elevator came to a shuddering halt. The panel display flashed to 4 and stayed there.
“You’ve got to kidding me.”
In all my years of working in the building, I’d never once had an elevator issue. The universe must be punishing me for my earlier indecision because there was no freaking way this was a coincidence.
I jabbed furiously at the lobby button again. Nothing.
I checked my phone. No service, and it was down to the last two percent. I’d been so caught up with work that I’d forgotten to charge it.
Dammit.
My only remaining option was to press the emergency button and pray that 1) someone was on call this late at night during the holidays, and 2) help got here quickly.
After a seemingly interminable wait, a gruff voice answered my call and promised me help was “on the way.” He didn’t respond to my requests for an exact time estimate.
I paced the tiny metal box and checked my watch again. 10:30 p.m. That was fine. Even if the rescue crew took an hour, I’d make it to the Empire State Building before midnight.
God, I hoped it didn’t take them an hour.
Someone somewhere out there must’ve heard my prayers, because two technicians showed up twenty minutes later and got me out. I stayed just long enough to thank them before I was off again.
11:05 p.m.
The late December air was a welcome breath of cold after the claustrophobia-inducing elevator, and I made it all the way to Thirty-Fourth Street, where the Empire State Building was located, before I came to a screeching halt. Metal barricades lined both sides of the street, preventing me from crossing. I’d seen them on my way here and assumed they’d end before I reached my destination; clearly, I’d been wrong.
I approached a nearby police officer and forced a polite smile. “Hi, can you tell me what’s going on?” I gestured at the maddening makeshift fortress. “I’m trying to get to the Empire State Building.”
“Annual Snowflake Parade.” The bored-looking officer jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Whole avenue’s shut down. If you want to go to the other side of the street, you gotta go around.”
I stifled a groan. How had I forgotten about one of the city’s worst traditions? I’d assumed the crowds were your typical tourists flocking to the city for the holidays, but no, it was a whole parade for a completely uninteresting natural phenomena.
“Go around where?”
He told me, and I almost cursed out loud when I calculated how long it’d take me to reach the closest open cross street.