For the next week, I camped out at the local coffee shop during the day and guzzled energy drinks at my desk at night.
Was it healthy? No. Was it effective? Yes.
Jill didn’t give me a deadline for the resubmission, but I didn’t want to risk falling into a creative rut again. I needed to finish the edits and the rest of the book while I was still riding high from her email.
I’d been so in my head about the book that it took the validation of a neutral, professional third party to break my creative dam. The words gushed out like a broken fire hydrant, and exactly six days and eight hours after I opened Jill’s email, I replied with my full, revised manuscript. It was risky, considering she hadn’t asked for the full book, but I was tired of playing it safe. No risk, no reward.
“Do you want another latte?” Charlie, my favorite barista, picked up the half dozen empty mugs crowding my table. It was almost seven p.m.; I’d been here since eight in the morning. “We’re closing in ten minutes, but I can whip you up one last drink.”
“No, it’s okay.” I leaned back, lightheaded with disbelief as I stared at the email chain on my screen. I had to wait for Jill’s follow-up, but my book was out there. There was no taking it back. “I’m done for the night.”
I’d wanted to finish my manuscript for so long. Now that I was done, I felt an inexplicable twinge of sadness. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed writing. Getting to know the characters, letting them take me on their twists and turns, building an entire freaking world—it was incomparable to anything else I’d ever done.
“You sure? It’ll be on me. I owe you.” Charlie gave me a bashful smile. “I, um, proposed to my girlfriend. In Tagalog. And she said yes.”
“Oh my God!” I shot up straight again. I’d been teaching him random Tagalog phrases every time I came in, but I hadn’t thought much about him asking how to say Will you marry me? He’d also asked me how to say I’m a defensive lineman in the NFL, which he most definitely wasn’t. “That’s incredible. Congratulations!”
“Thank you.” His face resembled a ripe beet. “Anyway, like I said, your next coffee is on me. I would’ve gotten you one of these”—he gestured at my empty mugs—“if you hadn’t ordered before my shift.”
“Don’t worry about it. Pay me back by showing me photos from the wedding instead. I’m nosy like that.”
Charlie laughed and agreed. While he closed up shop, I grabbed my phone and texted the group chat.
Me:I did it. I sent it. *nervous face emoji*
Vivian:The manuscript?
Vivian:That’s amazing. Congrats!
Sloane:See? I told you you could do it
Sloane:I’m always right
Alessandra:We should go out and celebrate:)
My smile dimmed. I hadn’t been in a going out mood since my breakup with Kai. Every time I tried, I would remember our night together at Verve and The Barber, and my heart would feel like it was getting raked over hot coals again.
My manic writing haze had temporarily pushed him out of my mind, but now he came roaring back with a vengeance.
I should call him.To thank him, to tell him what I’d accomplished, to just hear his voice and not feel so alone. But I didn’t want to muddle our relationship or lead him on when our fundamental differences remained. Besides, he might not even want to talk to me. I hadn’t heard from him since our breakup, probably because I told him I wanted space. Still, I couldn’t stop a pinch of disappointment every time my phone rang and it wasn’t him.
I forced a deep breath through my nose and squared my shoulders. No wallowing. Not tonight. Tonight was a night of celebration.
Me:We should DEFINITELY go out
Me:If you guys aren’t opposed to Brooklyn…I know just the place
No one objected, so I packed up my things, went home, and got ready with record speed.
An hour later, my Uber dropped me off at my favorite cocktail bar in Brooklyn Heights. I preferred Bushwick for nightlife, but getting Sloane to step foot in a non-Manhattan borough of New York was hard enough. If I made her go to Bushwick, she might spontaneously combust.
As expected, she was already waiting for me in a corner booth. The woman was freakishly punctual. Vivian and Alessandra showed up minutes later, and soon, we were warm and tipsy from two rounds of drinks.
“I’m so proud of you.” Vivian hugged me with one arm, her face flushed red from tequila. “Don’t forget us when you’re famous.”
“I have a long way to go before I’m famous.” I laughed.
“I once had a client who went from posting videos on YouTube one day to signing a multimillion-dollar contract with a major recording label two months later,” Sloane said. “Trust me. A long way isn’t as long as you think.”
“Publishing moves way slower than that, but I appreciate the support,” I said with a grin.
Alessandra raised her glass. “To chasing dreams and kicking ass.”
Cheers and laughter mingled with the clinks of our glasses. Warmth fizzed in my chest. I might not have a boyfriend or a concrete book deal, but I had my friends, and they were pretty fucking awesome.
I lifted my drink to my lips and scanned the room. People came and went, each one trendier and better-looking than the last, but a creamy laugh drew my eye to the entrance.
My heart plummeted to the ground.
Dark hair. Glasses. Crisp white shirt. Next to him, a familiar woman laughed again, the sound as elegant as her black designer dress and jewelry.
No. It can’t be.
But no matter how long I stared or how hard I wished them away, the pair didn’t disappear. They were real.
Kai was here. With Clarissa.
ISABELLA
he noise from the rest of the bar dulled to a muted roar.
Kai and Clarissa. Clarissa and Kai. Here. Together.
The thought replayed in my head as I tried to process the sight before me. They hadn’t seen me yet—my booth was tucked in a corner next to the entrance, and they cut straight to the bar without looking around.
Half-digested tequila sloshed in my stomach as Kai bent his head and said something to Clarissa. Their backs were to me so I couldn’t see her reaction, but they made a good-looking couple. Same elegance, same refinement, her willowy height a perfect complement to his.
A fierce wound reopened, sending a deep ache through my chest. I was freezing despite the alcohol and the body heat drenching the bar, and shivers snuck through my body in tiny, rattling waves. I tried reaching for my coat, but my limbs were as heavy and unresponsive as concrete blocks.
Alessandra noticed my silence first. Her brows dipped. “What’s wrong?”
Nausea trapped my response in the back of my throat, rendering me mute, but my friends were smart enough to follow my gaze to the bar. Kai’s hair, build, and clothing were unmistakable even from the back.
A shocked silence wiped our earlier gaiety clean.
“We can leave,” Vivian said after a long, tense pause. “There’s another bar a few streets over that’s supposed to be good, or we can head back to Man—”
“No.” I finally regained control over my faculties. “We’re staying. We were here first, and there’s no…there’s no reason why we can’t be in the same room at the same time.”
Besides the fact that I feel like someone is taking a sledgehammer to my heart.A shift of his body. A turn of his head. Blow after unerring blow.
I forced oxygen past my tight lungs.