It’s disturbing how much he looks like Lan but doesn’t share any of his characteristics or intensity. They’re the same on the outside but completely different on the inside.
“You wanted to see me?” I type on the phone.
“I want to tell you a story,” he says with his usual calm.
I nod, even though I’m not sure where he’s going with this. Especially since he’s been avoiding me lately.
His eyes appear as bottomless as the ocean when he speaks. “When I was in secondary school, high school for you Americans, I was targeted by a group of three excruciatingly rotten guys. They made it their mission to not only ridicule me, but to also spread nasty rumors about me, including, but not limited to, my mental state and sexual life. I ignored them because they’re not worth it, and usually, these types of rumors die out when they find a fresh target.
“Landon used to hang out in their circle and actively participate in the mayhem they brought to other people’s lives. In fact, he could’ve even been their leader and the instigator of the chaos they caused. However, after I became their newest toy for the week and he found out about it, the situation quickly escalated to absolute carnage. He beat them up and broke enough bones that they had to be admitted to the hospital. But do you think he stopped there? Not even close. As soon as they started recovering, he planted drugs in their lockers, spread rumors about their sexual inadequacies, and turned them into the joke of the school.
“Just like that, they became the outcasts and the targets of bullying. Then he threatened their parents with incriminating pictures of their adulteries and tax evasion proof. He shattered their reputations, jeopardized the foundation of their families, and completely destroyed their minds. At some point, one of them lost it and attacked Landon. He stabbed him in front of the entire school and got arrested. He’s still serving time for that. The second guy had a mental breakdown and is in the psych ward as we speak. The third one hasn’t left his house in six whole years.”
I cup my mouth, unable to control the shock that rattles me to the bone. So the scar on Landon’s stomach is a result from that stabbing.
Brandon continues in the same tone, “I’ll never forget the look on his face when he was stabbed. He was smiling triumphantly for driving someone to the edge and giving them the final shove over it. He didn’t even care about the pain as long as he got what he wanted.”
He tilts his head in my direction. “Do you think Lan did that because he cares about me or my well-being? No, and no. It was for himself. Due to my being his identical twin, Lan has always seen me as his property and an extension of his being. He considers any disrespect toward me a direct attack on his person. Which is why he likes to keep me on a leash. He did the same to Glyn, which is why he hates Killian with a passion. Not only was he not intimidated by Lan’s antisocial tendencies, but he was also the first boyfriend that she chose on her own. All her exes were personally picked by Lan and threatened with bodily harm if they touched her inappropriately.”
“What are you saying?” I sign, not sure if he understands it.
Apparently, he does, because he releases a sigh. “Landon suffers from an antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder. Like Killian. The only difference is that Killian makes an effort to care and I have no doubt that he treats my sister right. Lan would never care or try to. He sees everyone as pawns or possessions. It doesn’t matter what effort he puts into a relationship, he only makes it for egotistical reasons to benefit himself. I like you, Mia, and I don’t want you to be one of the people he destroys.”
I stare at my boots that are covered by the sand, then type on my phone, “How did you know?”
“He likes announcing his possessions. Besides, you’re a bit obvious when he’s around.”
“And here I thought I was discreet.”
He smiles a little. “If it’s any consolation, I’m probably the only one who could pick up on it.”
I smile back. “You’re right. Tonight, I had two wake-up calls. The first was him hurting my brother and the second is this.”
Bran straightens. “Is your brother okay?”
I shake my head.
“Was…he badly hurt?”
“Physically? No. Mentally, however, it’s highly debatable.”
“And it’s because of Lan?”
“The one and only devil lord.” I smile sarcastically as I type, “I almost forgot that he nearly killed my brother with his shenanigans. And now, he’s done this. I should really stay away from him, shouldn’t I?”
“You should.” His brows dip. “I don’t even know what you see in him.”
Danger.
Thrill.
Illusion.
The monster who can fight the other monster.
“I know, right? You’re a good guy, Bran. I should’ve totally fallen for you.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Unfortunately.”
He smiles. “You have terrible taste, but if it’s of any consolation, I understand why girls flock to him. They’re attracted to his charm and, most importantly, to the prospect of being the chosen one who can fix him.”
I shake my head, but I don’t type anything.
Never have I thought about fixing Landon. If anything, I slid down his rabbit hole as if it were where I always belonged.
In the thrilling darkness.
The animalistic chasing.
The explosive fucking.
But now, I realize with clarity that some desires are better left unfulfilled for everyone’s greater good.
“He’s too set in his way of thinking,” Bran continues. “After years of futile clashing with our father, Dad gave up trying to correct him and eventually left him to his own devices. It’s hard to speak reason to him and impossible to change him.”
“And yet something tells me you’re not giving up?”
“I’m an idiot and stuck with him for life. Everyone else should save themselves while they have the opportunity.”
“You’re not an idiot, Bran. You just care.” I show him my phone and then pat his shoulder.
“One of us has to.” A bitter smile crosses his lips. “I’m sorry if your acquaintance with me has caused this trouble—”
I put a hand on his mouth and shake my head, then I type, “Don’t you dare blame yourself. I made this choice about Landon and I’ll handle the consequences. Besides, meeting you is one of the best things that’s happened to me, so don’t avoid me again. We should probably meet outside, though.”
“Why?”
“Because I’d rather not cross paths with your psycho brother.”
“No, I meant why do you still want to see me if Lan is out of the picture?”
My lips part and I type furiously, “Don’t tell me all this time you thought I was befriending you to get close to Landon?”
“Weren’t you?”
“Of course not. I liked you and hated the asshole from the beginning.”
He grabs the back of his neck, a shy smile appearing on his lips. “Thanks. You’re the first girl who’s actually liked me and didn’t fake interest in me just to get close to Landon.”
“They do that?”
“Yeah. Apparently, I’m the boring twin and he’s the hot one.”
“I’m going to need names so I can teach the blind bitches a fucking lesson.” I punch the air, then kick it.
Bran throws his head back and laughs. I laugh, too, even though no feelings of joy penetrate my heavy chest.
After Bran and I part ways, I drive to the Heathens’ mansion. My screen pings with a text from Landon and I hit the brakes, coming to a sudden halt.
The ache in my heart spreads and causes my throat to restrict as I tap the screen.
He attached a half-naked mirror selfie, showcasing the dark purple bruises on his chest and his bloodied lips.
Devil Lord:Your brother did this. Come kiss it better?
While I saw glimpses of his manipulation tactics before, I had a veil over my eyes. But now, I can distinguish it loud and clear. Landon has the fascinating ability to use his own pain as a weapon to make his will a reality.
Just like when Bran said he was smiling while being stabbed.
Still, I can’t control the pulsing pain in my chest as I type.
Mia:I’m bored. We’re done.
Then I block his number and his IG.
Best way to get rid of a rotten limb? Amputate it. Even if it hurts like crazy.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve lost the safety illusion, but as I drive past the gate, I sense the monster’s eyes following me and his breath trickling down my neck.
MIA
Afinger snaps in my face and I startle as I meet my identical eyes. Only, the ones in front of me are framed with glittery eyeshadow and have two neon hearts on the corners.
Maya gesticulates in my direction while holding a massive coffee cup. “How dare you ignore my very important ramblings about our birthday preparations!”
“Sorry,” I sign, then take a long slurp from my Frappuccino as I stare out the cute coffee shop’s tall glass windows.
“You don’t even mean that.” She nudges me under the table with her pointy toe.
“Here. Let me take your picture. It’s good lighting.”
“Yes!” She passes me her phone and then quickly retracts it. “You’re not changing the subject or bribing me, Mia.”
Epic failure.
I wince and play with the blue straw of my reusable cup. In a further attempt to disperse Maya’s hawklike attention, I take pictures of her using my phone.
She poses for a few, but then she snatches my phone and glares at me. “What’s the reason behind the sudden reappearance of the emo?”
“I’m not going into an emo phase.”
“Bitch, please. You’ve been eating ice cream à la cheesy chick flicks, and lately, you wear so few ribbons, it’s a bit disturbing. Also, you haven’t been nagging me about all the sneaking around I’ve been doing lately.”
“Wait. You weren’t with your fashion club?”
“There!” She slams her cup on the table. “The old Mia would’ve made sure I was with the fashion club, not just take my word for it.”
I groan into my hands and busy myself with slurping intensively.
“Don’t ignore me,” Maya warns. “Unless you tell me what’s going on, I won’t know how to help you.”
I inhale a deep breath. It’s been three days since I blocked Landon out of my life.
Three days of restless sleep.
Faceless monster nightmares.
And excruciating emptiness.
The type that lurks in the background, no matter how much I keep myself occupied.
It doesn’t help that the marks Landon left on my body are taking their sweet time in fading away. Almost as if they got past the barrier of my flesh and are lingering in my soul.
To make things worse, he didn’t just take the hint and leave me alone. Of course not. In true Landon fashion, he texted me from a different number the same day I blocked him.
Whatever got your knickers in a twist better untwist sooner rather than later. I hate to break it to your pretty little head, but we’re not, in fact, done.
I blocked him again.
Then I spent the past two days ignoring my phone and pretending I’m at full capacity, when, in reality, I’m barely surviving.
It took some time to realize that I was so deep into Landon’s world that I needed the distance to see things clearly. My eyes were covered by a mist of lust and chaotic emotions and now I have the chance to see the world without it.
A world in which Landon is the definition of every decadent emotion and the hallmark of unapologetic psychos.
“It’s just a down phase,” I sign to Maya and mean it.
I really believe that I’m an addict and rehabilitation takes some time. First comes the excruciating withdrawals and then I’ll be immune.
Maya abandons her seat and crowds my bench to envelop me in a clingy hug. “I was thinking your nightmares had gradually disappeared, but the past few days, you’ve been having screaming nightmares.”
My lips part and I gently push her away. “I was screaming?”
She nods. “I was so scared and tried to wake you up, but you never acknowledged me.”
“I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“I wasn’t scared of you, idiot. I was scared for you.” Tears shine in her eyes. “I feel so helpless whenever I want to ease your pain but can’t. If I could…I would take all your nightmares.”
I stroke her cheek and wipe away her tears. As much as I love and appreciate Maya, I’m well aware that no one can take away these nightmares.
For a foolish moment, I thought Lan would with his crazy kinks and evil character. And yes, his presence helped, but the nightmares never completely vanished.
It’s me who desperately needs to acknowledge these tangled-up emotions and ideally find solutions for them.
“I’m fine, idiot,” I sign. “And, seriously, stop crying or you’ll ruin your makeup.”
“Don’t care.” She hugs me again, burying her face in my neck. “Promise you’ll tell me first when you’re ready to talk about ten years ago.”
I nod against her, even though I don’t plan to talk about it. Not now, not ever.
My shoulders lock together at the thought of mentioning the monster again. I barely managed to escape the first time. I won’t be able to make it out alive the second time.
Subtly, I pull away from Maya and tell her I need to use the bathroom.
Once I’m inside the stall, I lock the door and lean against it to catch my breath.
It’s all going to be okay. I’ve survived worse states of mind, so why does this one feel fundamentally different?
Cheerful female voices reach me from outside, then disappear. So I open the door and force a brave façade.
The moment I step out, a hand wraps around my throat and shoves me back inside the tiny stall.
My back hits the flimsy wooden separator with a thwack as a tall frame looms over me with the horrifying aura of the Grim Reaper.
It’s insane how someone’s presence can take the form of a hurricane, but that’s exactly what I feel as I stare into Landon’s darkened eyes. There’s no trace of his permanent taunting smirk, as if he’s done pretending to be the charming god whose altar everyone worships at.
Right now, he looks nothing short of a beast who’s out for mayhem.
He kicks the door closed and slams his other hand beside my head. The thwack reverberates at the base of my belly as he imprisons me in his grip.
“Hi, muse. Miss me?”
I plant a hand on his chest and attempt to push him. All of a sudden, his firm yet loose hand on my throat tightens. The breath rushes out of my lungs in one whoosh and tears form at the corners of my eyes. I claw at the collar of his shirt, scratching the skin in a desperate effort to remove his grip.
Landon, however, doesn’t waver. Not even a little. Not even close. “Don’t fight me, Mia. Not when I’m so close to fucking you all up.”
Slowly, and against my better judgment, I drop my hand from his chest and stare at his monstrous face through my blurry vision. He means it, and I know that not only is it futile to fight, but if I do, I’ll also provoke his uglier side.