“And how the fuck do you intend to do that, genius? By taking a trip back in time? You can’t ask Mum and Dad. Not only will they not answer, but the last time you asked, Mum was depressed for an entire month, thinking she was doing something wrong. In her mind, you being interested in your past is in direct correlation with your birth parents, and if you want to know about them, it means she failed as a mother.”
“I won’t get Mum and Dad involved and neither will you. I have other methods.”
“Such as… Wait a fucking second, were you getting all mushy with Lan because of this?” His brow furrows. “You can’t trust that snake. Any action he takes is purely for self-serving purposes.”
“And you’re different because…”
“I’m you brother. I wouldn’t hurt you.”
I release a sigh. “I know. But let me have this, Eli. If I don’t, I’ll never find the closure I need. I’ll never be…whole.”
“Bloody hell. Mum would undoubtedly cry if she heard that.”
“Don’t ever mention this to her.” I stare at the wall. “I hate this part of me that’s unable to move on from the past, despite having Mum, Dad, and our whole family. I tried to leave it behind, but the demons never disappear.”
My brother remains silent, probably because he doesn’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about, but he’s still there for me, listening and offering a part of himself he never gives anyone.
And I’m grateful for that.
After a while, he inches closer. “What’s the information you gathered from that slimy fucker Lan?”
“He said I was born in the United States, in New York City, to be more specific. He’s currently searching for my birth last name and the circumstances that surrounded all that hell.”
“You could’ve hired a PI instead of relying on that snake.”
“I did, but all information about my past was wiped clean. Probably by Dad and our grandfathers.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised. They never liked to talk about your past. So in that case, how can Lan get his hands on the information concerning your past?”
“He said he had a hunch, that he won’t reveal yet, and he figured out another way to get information.”
“Sounds fishy.”
“Lan’s hunches are always right.”
“And always get those involved in deep shit.”
“I’ve come this far. It goes without saying that I’m ready to make some sacrifices.”
“Some are more than you can pay.”
“I’ll deal with those when they happen.”
He shakes his head, seeming absolutely displeased. Eli has always hated it whenever I put myself in an unfavorable position.
Always.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” I say.
“Who’s worried, you little shit? If you have the audacity to get hurt, I won’t let you live it down.”
A small smile grazes my lips.
He side-eyes me “Why are you smiling like a creep?”
“It’s weird how you hate everyone but have always refused to leave me alone.”
“Didn’t have a choice. When Mum and Dad shoved you in my face, I had two options, like you or kill you. I would’ve gone for the second one, but I figured that would be frowned upon by our parents, so I had no choice but to like you.”
“Must’ve been a struggle.”
“I know, right? The worst of all. You’re a lucky son of a bitch.”
“Thanks, Eli.”
He grabs me by the shoulder and runs his fingers under my chin. “There’s no thanks between brothers, punk. Now, let’s use the free time you have for something productive.”
“Such as?”
A wolfish grin stretches his lips. “Landon is stalling and is probably gatekeeping information to keep a leash on you. I have the perfect solution to force his hand.”
ANNIKA
“Annika is not allowed to leave the perimeter of the property until further notice.”
“Yes, sir.”
Jeremy nods at his guards and strides inside the house.
I hop off his bike—that he never allows anyone to ride and only let me out of necessity—and run after him. His steps are so wide that it takes me a while to reach him and grab his arm, forcing him to come to a halt—or I think I do—in the entrance hall.
He faces me with drawn brows, a dark expression, and tense muscles. This has been his state ever since we left the grocery store.
I love my brother, I truly do, but I don’t recognize him sometimes. Or more like, I don’t recognize the darkness that flows inside him, barely tucked beneath the surface.
“Do you have an objection, Anoushka?”
“Of course I do. You can’t just lock me up every time you decide to, Jer.” My voice softens. “I’m not a dog.”
“I wouldn’t have had to do this if you weren’t roaming around the Elites bastards.”
“Creighton is not a member of the club.”
“His cousin is.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. You’re rivals with the Elites, not with everyone at REU. Creighton has never taken part in their activities.”
“Are you sure about that? Because no matter how much I go over it in my head, his sudden appearance during the fire is suspicious.”
“I told you. It wasn’t sudden—”
“Spare me the bullshit. You think I haven’t figured out you were covering up for him?”
My spine jerks upright. “You knew?”
“Sure did.”
“Then… Why did you let it slide?”
“Because he saved you and me. Not to mention that Gareth found evidence that the Serpents were behind that fire.” He steps closer. “But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t aware of it. Perhaps he plotted it with that deranged cousin of his, then appeared at the right moment to be seen as a savior.”
“That’s not true.”
Jeremy grabs me by the shoulder and shakes me. “Wake the fuck up, Annika. Do you really think it was a coincidence that he happened to be there at the right moment? Do you honestly believe there were no underhanded methods beneath it all?”
My throat dries and I stare into his dead eyes with my stinging ones. “I’m sure there’s an explanation—”
“This is why Dad never wanted you away from home. You’re so naive, it’s fucking embarrassing.” He releases me and I sway backward as if someone slapped me across the face.
No.
It wouldn’t hurt this much if someone physically struck me.
“You won’t be going out, and you’ll be escorted in and out of REU.” He heads to the stairs. “That’s final.”
Usually, I’d hide in my room, call Mom for emotional support, and maybe cry where no one can see me.
Usually, I wouldn’t even attempt to go against my brother.
This time, however, I barge in front of him, shoulders pushed back, and I lift my chin as I speak in a calm though slightly trembling voice. “You call it naivety, but I call it giving people the chances they deserve. I refuse to see the world in black and white like you do, Jeremy. I want the gray, I want the purple, I want all the colors. And I won’t allow you or anyone else to forbid me from seeing them. It’s how I chose to love you despite your dark side. My affection for you isn’t due to your rare warmth or, God forbid, your suffocating behavior, it’s my choice. It is also my choice to trust Creighton. He’s not the type to orchestrate such a fire just to play a savior, and he is not, under any circumstances, associated with the Elites. I know it as well as I know you. Don’t insult me by insinuating that I would choose someone who’s bent on hurting you. If you trusted me enough, you’d figure out that I would never do that.”
My chest deflates from the overwhelming emotions I just unpacked in one go. It’s been a long time coming, considering his asphyxiating overprotectiveness. Slandering Creighton is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
At least Creigh trusted me to take this situation into my own hands. The same can’t be said about Jeremy. I doubt he would trust me to even breathe on my own.
His brows dip in blatant confusion, but his voice softens. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust your trusting nature, Anoushka. That trait attracts all sorts of predators and invites them to hurt you. The entire King family is cutthroat and brutal. If they were to use you as a pawn, you wouldn’t be able to survive.”
“I’ve been surviving just fine with them, Jer. Hell, I like them better than your own unhinged friends.”
“Will you still like them if they hurt you?”
“You see, that’s your problem. You believe that either everyone is out to hurt me or I’m too fickle to handle myself. I’m eighteen years old, you know, and yes, I might have been a bit immature before, but I’m not anymore. I realize there’s a whole world out there beyond the pretty little cage you and Papa built for me and I want that world, Jer. I want to live, make mistakes, and correct them on my own. I want to be alive.”
Jeremy’s hand clenches at his side, but he slowly relaxes it. “And all of that has to happen with Creighton?”
“Yeah.” I bite the corner of my lower lip. “I love him.”
“You can’t be sure about that this early in the relationship.”
“If I’m not with him, I think about him. Hell, I even think about him when he’s there. He makes me feel happy and appreciated. When I’m with him, I’m just Annika and not Miss Volkov who’s shackled by my family name and background. He’s the place I go to when I want to feel safe, so yes, I love him, and I’m damn sure about it.”
Jeremy tenses and I think he’ll go down his dictatorial road with this, but then he sighs. “Why did it have to be Creighton?”
“Why can it not be Creighton?”
“If he has to choose, he’ll go with his family.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” I smile. “Creigh will always choose me. Just like I’ll always choose him.”
“You never know, Anoushka. All these rosy feelings you have for him might easily turn black.”
“No, they won’t.”
“Are you up to proving that?”
I lift my chin further. “What do you have in mind?”
“In the morning, we’ll go back home and you’ll tell Dad all about these emotions. If he does his research on Creighton and ends up accepting him, I’ll back off.”
I swallow.
Talking to Jeremy is one thing, but Papa is an entirely different beast.
“What?” He smirks, knowing exactly which cord he hit. “Cold feet?”
“Of course not. You’ll keep your word. If Papa agrees, you won’t intervene.”
“Cross my heart.” He continues smirking.
Because he knows full well that Papa’s approval is as impossible as seeing a unicorn.
But I have a secret weapon. Mom.
Seems like I’ll have to fight a whole other battle back where I hate it.
Where I was nothing more than a sheltered princess.
Home.
* * *
Homeand I share a love-hate relationship.
I cherish all the memories I have with Mom, Papa, and Jeremy growing up, but I dislike it for how helpless and suppressed I felt.
However, the moment we drive into the vast property that Mom has somehow changed from a gothic mansion to a homey one, the only thing I’m hit with are those precious memories.