I’ve never seen him so hurt, so distraught as he looks right now. All the pleasure has vanished and he watches me slowly, warily, as if he’s seeing my eyes for the first time.
We tuck ourselves in as he faces me.
I grab his hand and he stiffens as I remove the watch and check beneath it. There’s an old scar but no new ones that I can see. Though he could be doing it somewhere hidden, like with the fucking nicks due to ‘shaving.’
“I didn’t…” He slowly pulls his hand free. “I haven’t done it since the last time.”
“Good.”
He cocks his head, his face unreadable. “Can you tell me what’s wrong now?”
“You better not let anyone else touch you or I swear to fuck my murder threats will become reality.”
He nods, his expression serious. “We’re exclusive, remember?”
“You should be the one who remembers that.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
I turn around and hop on my bike.
“Wait. You’re leaving? Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Nikolai. Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me.”
“You’ve done that countless times. Why can’t I?”
His expression drips with pain and he opens his mouth. I should be on my way, but I can’t. Not when he has something to say.
“I’m sorry.”
“What the fuck did I say about apologizing?”
“What do you want me to say or do? I’m trying to get close to you, but the harder I try, the further you slip away.”
“Let me ask you.” I turn sideways to face him. “If you had to choose between me and your brother. Who would you pick?”
“Neither. It’s not supposed to be a choice. Besides, if you accept him with Mia, he’ll have no choice but to accept you with me.”
“My sister is not up for fucking negotiation.”
His face falls and he swallows thickly. “Then I guess you made your choice.”
“And so did you.” I rev the engine.
I need to get out of here before I proceed with my very irrational idea about kidnapping him.
A voice inside me demands that, scratching and clawing at the fucking foundation of my being just to keep him close.
But if I do that, if I take him, I’ll hurt him. I just know I will fucking lose him.
So even though I continue staring at him in the rearview mirror, standing there with his hand in his hair, I don’t go back.
I need to eliminate the vermin that is Landon King.
Then I need a whole bottle of the fucking pills.