She pushes my bangs off of my forehead and behind my ear. Aunt and I are in yoga trousers. She’s wearing a sports bra while I’m in a sleeveless top. She shifted her mat so we’re facing each other instead of the green scenery of our back garden.
“You know we’re proud of you no matter what you do, right? It doesn’t have to be Cambridge if you don’t want to.” Her smile is warm but also pained.
Sometimes, I wonder if she sees my mother in my face. I’m becoming more and more a carbon copy of her.
“Blasphemy,” I laugh. “Don’t let Uncle Jaxon hear you say the words ‘no Cambridge’. Besides, I want Cambridge, Aunt. It’s my dream.”
She rolls her wedding band. “Don’t tell Jaxon and we’ll eat ice cream while watching a cheesy chick flick until we pass out.”
“Deal.”
We roll our mats, close the door against the garden’s chilly air and go inside.
Aunt lied about letting me eat as much ice cream as I want. She barely let me have two spoonfuls before her parent side took over. Ice cream isn’t good for my healthy food dosage.
We scroll through Netflix for ten minutes before we decide to re-watch Pride and Prejudice for the thousandth time.
The book is still better. Just saying.
Aunt answers her emails as we snuggle on the couch with popcorn — mine doesn’t have salt because… healthy.
Since Aunt came home today, Uncle will probably pull an all-nighter. Lately, they’ve been up to their necks in a new project. My heart squeezes knowing that I’ll be seeing less and less of them.
“You can work from your office, Aunt,” I offer.
“Nonsense.” She pulls me in so I’m leaning against her shoulder. “It’s girls’ night.”
We’re about half an hour in when I ask, “Aunt?”
“Hmm?” She glances at me then back at her phone.
“Have we lived in London before? I mean, my parents and I?”
She raises her head from her phone slowly, too slowly. “No. You were born and brought up in Birmingham.”
That’s also what I know. Since that accident, my memories have been wiped clean, but I remember Birmingham. The copper air. The suffocating, grey atmosphere and the smell of a lake.
“Why would you think you lived in London?” Aunt has abandoned her phone and is staring at me with an unreadable expression.
“Nothing. I just wondered if we came to visit you at the time?”
“Your uncle and I studied at Cambridge at the time. We didn’t live in London until we started our business.”
“Yeah.” I smile awkwardly. “I’m just flipping things.”
Aunt faces me. The look on her face is still unreadable, but it brings back a distant memory when her nose scrunches and she asks me the same question she did when I woke up in the hospital. “Do you remember anything?”
I shake my head.
“Do you want me to call Dr Khan?”
My shrink.
Since I was seven, my life has been shackled by two doctors. The heart doctor and the shrink.
“No, Aunt. It’s nothing.”
“You know that normal people talk to shrinks, right? It’s relieving and healthy.” She laughs. “Hell, I tell him more than I tell you or Jaxon.”
“I’ll think about it.”
A lie.
I’d rather not step into Dr Khan’s office again. I dislike having my brain probed.
Aunt ignores her phone for the rest of the film. Once we reach the end, I call it a night to revise my notes before sleep.
As I change into my PJ’s, I pause buttoning the top and stare at the hickeys Aiden left on my flesh.
In the past, whenever I looked at the scar, I’d have haunting flashbacks about the incident when I lost my parents.
Now, I don’t.
The flashback is still haunting, but it’s filled with deep grey eyes gnawing into my soul as he bit the skin and left his mark in an intrusive, intimate way.
I think a part of you likes this but because you’re such a good girl, you’re out to destroy that part.
I button the rest with jerky hands. I’m angry at myself, no, I’m furious. How the hell can I remember his words, let alone give them weight?
I meant it earlier. I didn’t want his attention, but on the flip, damning side, he’s having mine.
The fact that I’m starting to be invested in him creeps me out of my skin.
While a psycho, Aiden is a human being, and I can’t help wondering why he does everything he does.
Everyone has a motive, don’t they? No matter how much I’ve tried to shove Aiden into the black category, I’m only fooling myself.
I crawl into my bed, play Power by Bastille, and check my phone.
Kim sent me a message saying she’ll be driving her baby brother and therefore she won’t be able to pick me up tomorrow.
She sends a cute picture of Kirian clinging to her leg. Although Kim is a brunette, her brother has the most golden blonde hair.
Kim: Babysitting. Save me.
Elsa:*heart emoji* I’ll have that cute little elf.
We chat for a while before I head to Instagram. On RES’s official page, I find a picture of me taken by the school’s photography club. They had a perfect shot while I ran in practice. It’s from behind, but my name and the school’s logo are clear.
The tag reads. Great minds in excellent bodies.
RES has changed their policies over the years. Now, they’re constantly promoting that they’re not only about academics, but also sports.
Right after my picture, I find another one with more comments and likes. It’s about the football team, so no surprise there.
The photography club managed to snag a perfect shot of Aiden during practice when he was about to shoot and score. One of his hands flings back in symmetry with his left foot like he’s about to take flight.
It could be because he’s a leftie, but that posture is too… unearthly. Damn that perfect, aesthetic posture.
I zoom in to erase everyone in the pitch except for him.
After a few seconds of staring like a creep, I exit Instagram altogether and cover my head in exasperation.
I’m turning into something I hate because of the bastard.
My phone dings, and I lunge for it expecting it to be Kim.
Aiden.
Wait. Aiden?
Of course. He had my phone for a whole day after all. If he can crack the code, he can save his number.
I’m tempted to toss my phone and crack it to pieces, but curiosity gets the better of me.