Tiernan
Twisting the handle, I rev the engine, the back tire skidding under me and making a half moon in the snow. I sit down, lock my boots on the pedals, and speed off, racing up the salted driveway as the dark clouds hang overhead.
I love this weather. It’s in the twenties, and while December and January were painful it didn’t take long to toughen me up. I barely wear a coat outside these days.
I’m not even sure what day it is, only that it’s February. I think.
I pull to a stop at the shop door and take off my helmet, hanging it on the handlebar as I climb off the bike.
“I love it!” I tell Jake.
“Want one?”
I smile, watching him wipe the grease off his hands. “Maybe something street legal, instead.”
He shakes his head, and I lean on the washing machine, kicking off my boots. The cuff of my beautiful Aran Islands sweater is unraveling, a wool string hanging over my hand, but it only feels good, because I know my clothes have now been lived in, worn for hours and days doing things I love.
Five pieces of furniture sit around the shop—two end tables, a headboard, another chest, and the wardrobe. I would’ve finished more in the past couple of months, but I completed all my coursework already, got my college applications done, and tried a ton of new recipes, using our perishable food while it was still good.
It’ll still be at least eight weeks before I can taste a fresh, crisp apple, though. I can’t wait to get to town.
But then some days, I hope the snow never melts.
There’s dirt under my nails, and I never need make-up because I’m outside every day, earning my rosy cheeks.
Jake tosses the rag down and looks at me. “It doesn’t have to be street legal,” he tells me. “If you keep it here.”
I meet his eyes, but then bend over to scoop the clothes out of the dryer.
“For when you visit, I mean.”
I nod, but I don’t look at him again. I know what he wants. He’d love for me to stay, but he’ll settle for an assurance that this is home base when I’m on school breaks.
He’s assuming I’ve calmed down, and I’ll stay through the summer.
I can’t, though. I might be the reason Kaleb hasn’t come home. Maybe he will once I’m gone.
Without responding, I put the clean clothes on top of the dryer, toss in the wet ones, and jog up the stairs into the house.
Blowing into my hands, I rub them together as the heat of the fireplace warms the area. Guilt pricks at me as I refresh the dogs’ food and water. I don’t want to ignore Jake’s request, but I have two months yet. At least.
I don’t have to dread leaving them yet.
Of course, it seems like yesterday that I said the same thing in December.
Heading through the living room, I climb the stairs, but the front door opens behind me, and I look over my shoulder, seeing Noah step in. He kicks his boots of the snow and whips off his hat and work gloves.
He looks up, and my eyes meet his eyes.
He smiles like a devil, and my heart skips a beat.
No.
I gasp and bolt up the stairs, hearing his footfalls behind me, charging my ass. I squeal, grabbing his arm as he passes me, both of us stumbling and laughing as we race for the shower.
“I’m first!” I shout.
We both scramble for the bathroom, slamming into the door and falling inside. I tumble to the floor, and he follows, grabbing my legs to stop me from standing up. I kick him, screaming and laughing, and reach up for the sink, pulling myself up.
I dart for the shower, but he stands up, locking me in and pressing his body into mine.
My stomach shakes, feeling his heat and breath surround me.
And in a moment, everything quiets. The laughing stops.
He hovers over me, his chest rising and falling against mine, and I can smell the fire on his clothes from the burning he did outside.
His dick rubs me through my clothes, and I shift.
“You can go first,” I say. “You need to take care of something, it seems.”
I try to step to the side, but he stops me. “You need to take care of something, you mean.”
He stares down at me, and I can feel the heat rolling off him. All that’s standing in his way is me.
“Do you love him?” he asks. “Because if you don’t, then come in the shower with me, because my body is screaming.”
I remain still.
Maybe I should. It would feel good.
Kaleb is staying away for a reason, after all. He’s either trying to outlast my departure, so he doesn’t have to see me, or he knows he can’t expect to come back at this point and find me untouched in his long absence, especially in a house with men I’ve already been with.
Everyone wants this to happen.
As he leans in, though, I plant my hands on his chest. “No.”
I shake my head, keeping him back.
“You love him?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” I frown.
I don’t love you, though.Not like that.
Noah needs his brother a lot more than he needs me. I don’t want to be in the middle.
“Don’t use all the hot water,” I say, and I leave the room.
Heading downstairs, I go for the kitchen to check the stew in the crock pot, but a faint yell hits my ears, and I look up, seeing Jake on the phone.
“If you don’t put her on the phone, I swear I will have her airlifted out of there!”
“Jesus, fuck,” Jake growls, pulling the receiver away from his ear and glaring at me. “Tiernan…”
He tosses me the phone, holding his coffee in his other hand.
“I don’t want that woman calling here anymore,” he tells me. “Answer your phone.”
Huh?
I hold the phone to my ear.
“That woman?” Mirai repeats in disdain. “What does that mean? He’s a barbarian.”
“Hey.”
“Hey,” she snips, suddenly realizing I’m on the line. “Happy holidays, Tiernan.”
I wince. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry.”
We’ve been sticking to email and texting for the last ten weeks, and even though she’s called, I haven’t answered. I didn’t feel like conversation. With texting, we can state our business quickly without trying to make up shit to talk about.
“Tiernan…”
“I’m really sorry,” I tell her again. “I’ve just been…”
“Living your life,” she finishes for me. “I get it. You’re not getting rid of me, though, okay?”
“I know.” I lean on the island as Jake hangs back, looking in the fridge and trying to look like he’s not eavesdropping. “You got my present, right?”
She lets out a laugh. “Yes. Very generous. You saying I need a vacation?”
“Or an affair,” I tease. “A raging, hot, and mad affair with a man. Or men.”
Jake turns his head, looking at me over his shoulder.
I bought Mirai a trip to Fiji. Her and a plus one.
“What do you know?” Mirai laughs again.
“Is she hot?” Jake whispers to me.
I glance at him, the aggravation on his face suddenly gone. I roll my eyes.
“So, are you happy?” she asks.
Noah turns on music upstairs, and Jake lifts the lid of my stew, dipping his spoon in for a sample. Tonight, they’re making me watch Starship Troopers for the first time. I’m warm, well-fed, and loved.
There’s nothing I need that’s missing.
But still, I drop my eyes. “Almost,” I murmur.
We talk for a bit, and she lets me know that Mr. Eusola contacted her about the gossip rag and they got the newspaper to print a retraction, as well as fire the reporter. Hopefully, it sets an example that I’m not interested in tolerating rumors about my parents for the rest of my life.
After we hang up, I check on the dinner, adding the potatoes in I peeled this morning.
Washing my hands, I stare out the window, seeing how the snow around the driveway has started to slush. We still have more storms coming, but the past few days have been a nice reprieve from the bitter temperatures.
I lean in, peering up at what I can see of the sky. The clouds look heavy. More snow on the way.
I feel Jake behind me, and I look back, seeing him gazing out the window, as well.
He looks down, something intimate in how his eyes drop to my mouth.
He takes a step back. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”