His chest rises and falls, and even though I know I have a warm bed inside filled with a man who holds me so tight and will never not care for me, I…
I want to see Noah.
I want to hear him.
“Talk to me,” he says.
“What do you want me to say?”
He hesitates, his baseball cap sitting backward on his head as I watch his lips softly start to move.
“Did you like watching me on the couch the other night?” he asks in a low voice.
I search his eyes, fear holding me back but desire keeping me planted.
“How far would we have gone if he hadn’t come in?” he presses.
I breathe in and out, holding his eyes, and all of a sudden we’re back on the couch. The space is small, the air is thick, something is happening, and we don’t know what or if we should, but we know we don’t want to stop yet.
He reaches down, but I don’t look to see what he’s doing. Instead, I hear his belt buckle jingle, and his zipper open. His eyes search mine, probably wondering if I’m going to flee. Or waiting for me to flee.
But I don’t. Not as he reaches inside his jeans and not as I watch him stroke himself out of the corner of my eye.
“How far?” he urges.
How far was I going to let him and Kaleb go that night? Would I have let them take turns? Or would we have gone to a bed and would I have let them have me at the same time? We’ll never know, but I do know one thing.
“I wasn’t going to stop,” I tell him. I turn on my side, tucking my hands under my cheek as I look over at him. “I just wanted to let go and have the moment. Even if you were using me to feel good, because I wanted to feel good, too.”
He nods slowly. “Sucks, doesn’t it?” A beautiful smile plays across his lips. “Craving that fucking escape so badly, because someone else left you empty?”
I move in, placing my hand on his chest as my nose brushes his cheek. “Nothing about you is empty,” I whisper. “I can feel your heart.”
It beats against my hand, and I close my eyes, feeling his warm body move and thinking about what he would feel like. How he would’ve felt that night we were interrupted.
It wasn’t just an escape, Noah.It wasn’t. It was a connection.
A connection I feel with him probably stronger than anyone here. No one loved him enough. Jake’s respect has been too hard to earn, and Kaleb doesn’t talk to him. Like me, Noah doesn’t have a place he belongs. He gets everything I’m feeling, he sees what I see, and he knows what I walk around with, because even though he’s not alone, he’s lonely. He didn’t have anyone to talk to here, and just like my parents’ house wasn’t a home, neither is the peak for him. He doesn’t feel good here.
Until maybe now.
He quickens his pace, and I open my eyes, looking down at his hand, moving inside his jeans. My clit throbs despite myself, and the warmth between my legs aches.
“Noah…” I breathe out, begging him. “Go slower. I like watching you. I like it slow.”
He turns his face toward me, our lips brushing each other. “Tiernan…”
I lick my lips. “Take your pants down more.”
He bends his knees up and pushes his jeans and boxers down.
He pulls out his cock, thick and hard, and I watch him rub his thumb over the wet tip and continue stroking it. I know he’s watching me as I watch him, but I don’t care.
Someone—maybe me—straddles him, and I see it in my head. He makes love to her from the bottom, pumping his hips up into her.
Slowly, I unbutton his shirt with one hand. I spread the shirt open, his naked skin from his neck down to his groin waiting for me. My fingers hum with desire. I want to touch him.
But I don’t.
“Slower,” I tell him. I don’t want him to come yet.
“Open your shirt.”
I meet his eyes.
“He won’t see,” Noah murmurs. “Open your shirt for me.”
I falter, the pulse in my neck throbbing. I want to.
I…
“He won’t find out,” Noah says, tossing a look behind me toward the door to the kitchen.
What would happen if he did? At any second that door could open.
“Open,” Noah growls under his breath. “Your fucking shirt, princess.”
I reach up, holding his eyes as he jerks himself and unbutton his shirt that I wear. Underneath, I sport a tight, tank top, and he doesn’t even ask. He bares his teeth, yanking it up over my breasts. His lungs empty as he stares at my body, and I lie on my back again, letting him drink me in.
My nipples harden, sharpening to points in the chilly air. “Noah…”
He licks the palm of his hand, dragging his tongue over it, and dipping back down to jerk himself harder, his eyes never leaving my body.
He fists his hard cock, cum dripping from its tip. He inches in to touch me, and I shake my head.
No.
He stops, his angry eyes zoning in on me.
“No one says no to me,” he whispers.
I smile a little.
“I want my mouth all over your body,” he says, staring at my breasts. “Let me taste them.”
I shake my head again, but my skin tingles with the idea. His mouth hungrily sucking on me… God.
He makes me feel powerful. With Noah, I’m not embarrassed to demand or refuse. He dangles on my line and not the other way around.
“Faster.” I push my tits up for him. “Do it faster.”
He breathes through his teeth, stroking himself harder and faster, and I watch his mouth open and close as he longs for my breasts.
I slip my hand down my jeans and inside my panties.
He groans, watching me finger myself. “Take ’em down.”
I shake my head, swirling my wet clit.
He growls again. “Take your panties down and show me something wet.”
“Noah, no.”
I can’t. I’ll lose control. This is what I love with Noah, and what I want to keep. I can love him but stay level.
He pants. “I want your panties balled up on my bedroom floor so bad, but I’ll fuck you right here if I have to, Tiernan.”
I eye the couch in the corner of the shop, a moment of surrender almost taking me over.
“Let me in your bed tonight,” he asks. “He won’t find out.”
I open my mouth to say something—to refuse—but I can’t force the words. I don’t want to deny him. I want him to be happy.
“He won’t find out,” he whispers again. “He’ll never know, Tiernan. Drop the pack. Just let go.”
Everything washes over me at once, and I almost say “yes.”
Drop the pack.
Like that day in the ocean and everything I was carrying that would drag me down and drown me. Just let go.
I almost do.
Instead, I dive in, holding his face and kissing his temple as he strokes himself. “I’m sorry.”
And I slide out from under the bike and climb to my feet, running toward the kitchen door as I pull down my tank top and fix the flannel.
“Tiernan,” he groans behind me, sounding disappointed, but I don’t stop.
Running into the house, I slam the shop door and bolt up the stairs, heading to my bedroom.
What the hell is the matter with me? Noah is the only one I’m completely fearless around. Why would I complicate that?
I wanted him. I wanted to climb on top of him and love him and hold him and make sure he wasn’t alone.
I swing my door open and pull off the flannel, kicking off my shoes and socks, because I’m sweating.
These fucking men. I squeeze my eyes shut, still aching between my thighs. My clothes itch, and my heart pounds.
“Tiernan.”
I blink, hearing my name. I turn my head, looking out my door, across the hall, and seeing Jake standing in his room wearing a towel. He uses another to dry the back of his hair as steam billows out of the bathroom and into his room.
“You okay?” he asks.