“I just wanted to reach out to tell you that,” he finally says. “If you want to emancipate yourself, you’ll get no argument from me. I have no interest in making anything harder for you by uprooting you from your life.”
I stare at the thread, pinching it between my nails as I pull it tight. Okay, then.
“Well… thank you for calling.”
And I start to pull the phone away from my ear, but then I hear his voice again. “Do you want to come here?”
I bring the phone back to my ear.
“I didn’t mean to sound like you weren’t welcome,” he says. “You are. I just thought…”
He trails off, and I listen.
He chuckles. “It’s just that we live a pretty secluded life here, Tiernan,” he explains. “It’s not much fun for a young woman, especially one who has no idea who the hell I am, you know?” His tone turns solemn. “Your dad and I, we just…we never saw eye to eye.”
I sit there, saying nothing. I know it would be polite to talk to him. Or maybe he expects me to ask questions. Like what happened between him and my father? Did he know my mother?
But I don’t want to talk. I don’t care.
“Did he tell you we lived in Colorado?” Jake asks softly. “Close to Telluride but up in the mountains.”
I draw in a breath and release it, winding the thread around my finger.
“It’s not a far ride to town in nice weather, but we get snowed in for months at a time during the winter,” he goes on. “Very different from your life.”
I raise my eyes, letting them slowly drift around the barren room I’ve barely ever slept in. Shelves filled with books I never finished reading. A desk piled with pretty journals I liked buying but hardly wrote in. I thought about decorating in here during breaks at home, but as with everything else, the wallpaper was never purchased, because I could never decide. I have no imagination.
Yeah, my life…
The weight of my parents’ door looms ahead of me, down the hall.
Snowed in, he said. For months at a time.
“No cable. No noise. No WiFi sometimes,” he says. “Just the sounds of the wind and the falls and the thunder.
My heart aches a little, and I don’t know if it’s his words or his voice. Just the sounds of the wind and the falls and the thunder.
Sounds amazing, actually. All of it sounds kind of nice. No one can get to you.
“My boys are used to the seclusion,” he tells me. “But you…”
I pick up the thread again and twist it around my finger. But me…?
“I came out here when I wasn’t much older than you,” he muses, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I had soft hands and a head full of shit I didn’t know what to do with. I was barely alive.”
Needles prick my throat, and I close my eyes.
“There’s something to be said for sweat and sun.” He sighs. “Hard work, solace, and keeping busy. We’ve built everything we have here. It’s a good life.”
Maybe that’s what I need. To run away like he did at my age. Dive into anything different, because the only thing I feel anymore is tired.
“Have you had a good life?” he nearly whispers.
I keep my eyes closed, but I feel like I have a truck sitting on my lungs. I’ve had a great life. I have a closet full of all the designer clothes and bags everyone expects a famous star’s daughter to own. I’ve been to two dozen countries, and I can buy anything I want. My home is huge. My fridge is stocked. How many people would happily trade places with me? How lucky am I?
“Do you want to come here, Tiernan?” he asks again.
Tiernan
I pull off my wireless headphones and let them rest around my neck as I take a look around the room. Their baggage claim area only has two carousels. It’s like a bathroom at LAX.
Is he here? I spin around, trying to recognize someone I’ve never met, but he’ll probably know me before I know him anyway. Our family’s pictures are hard to avoid online right now.
Following the crowd, I head to the second conveyor belt and wait for the luggage to be dropped. I probably brought way too much, especially since there’s a good chance I won’t stay long, but honestly, I wasn’t thinking. He emailed a ticket—told me I could use it or not—and I just grabbed my suitcases and started loading. I was too relieved to have something to do.
I check my phone to make sure I didn’t miss a call from him saying where to meet, and I see a text from Mirai, instead.
Just giving you a heads up… The coroner will confirm the cause of death by the end of the week. It will make the news. If you need to talk, I’m here. Always.
I inhale a deep breath, but I forget to let it go as I slip my phone in my back pocket. Cause of death. We know how they died. All the religious nutcases on Twitter are presently condemning my parents as sinners for taking their own lives, and I couldn’t look at it. While I could say whatever I wanted about my problems with Hannes and Amelia de Haas, I didn’t want to hear bullshit from strangers who didn’t know them.
I should turn off my phone. I should…
I pinch my eyebrows together. I should go home.
I don’t know this guy, and I don’t like the people I do know.
But last night, nothing sounded better than getting out of there.
The carousel starts to spin, snapping me out of my head, and I watch as the bags start appearing. One of my black suitcases moves toward me, and I reach down to grab it, but another hand suddenly appears, lifting it for me, instead. I shoot up, coming face to face with a man.
Well, not face to face exactly. He stares down at me, and I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t remember…anything. His eyes are almost frozen, and he doesn’t blink as we stand there, locked.
Is this him?
I know my father’s step-brother is of Dutch descent, same as my dad, and this guy’s certainly got the whole six-foot-two, athletic look with short-cropped, dark blond hair and blue eyes whose slight amusement betrays his stern set jaw and intimidating presence.
“You’re Jake?” I ask.
“Hi.”
Hi? His gaze doesn’t leave me, and for a moment I can’t pull away, either. I knew he and my father weren’t blood, but for some reason, I thought they’d look similar. I don’t know why.
My expectation was completely off, though, and it didn’t occur to me that there was an age difference between them. Jake has to be at least ten years younger than Hannes. Late thirties, maybe early forties?
Perhaps that had something to do with them not getting along. In two totally differently places, so not much in common growing up?
We stand there for a moment, and I feel like this is the point where most people would hug or something, but I take a step back—and away from him—just in case.
He doesn’t come in for an embrace, though. Instead, his eyes flash to the side, and he gestures. “This one, too?”
His voice is deep but soft, like he’s a little bit scared of me but not scared of anything else. My heart speeds up.
What did he ask me?
Oh, the luggage.
I look over my shoulder, seeing my other black case trailing this way.
I nod once, waiting for it to come down the line to us.
“How did you know it was me?” I asked him, remembering how he just grabbed my suitcase without a word to confirm my identity.
But he laughs to himself.
I close my eyes for a moment, remembering he’s probably seen pictures of me somewhere, so it wasn’t hard to figure out. “Right,” I murmur.
“Excuse me,” he says, reaching past me to grab the second case. I stumble back a step, his body brushing into mine.
He pulls it off the belt and adds, “And you’re the only one here with Louis Vuitton luggage, so…”
I shoot him a look, noticing the jeans with dirt-stained knees and the seven-dollar gray T-shirt he wears. “You know Louis?” I ask.
“More than I care to,” he replies and then fixes me with a look. “I grew up in that life, too, remember?”
That life. He says it as if labels and luxury negate any substance. People may live different realities, but the truth is always the same.
I clear my throat, reaching out for one of the cases. “I can take something.”
“It’s okay.” He shakes his head. “We’re good.”
I carry my pack on my back and hold the handle of my carry-on, while he grips my two rolling suitcases.
I’m ready to move, but he’s looking down at me, something timid but also amazed in his eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“No, sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “You just look like your mother.”
I drop my eyes. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that, and it’s a compliment, to be sure. My mother was beautiful. Charismatic, statuesque…
It just never makes me feel good, though. As if everyone sees her first.
Gray eyes, blonde hair, although mine is the natural sandy shade while hers was colored to look more golden.
My darker eyebrows are my own, though. A small source of pride. I like how they make my eyes pop.
He inhales a deep breath. “Any more?” he asks, and I assume he’s talking about my luggage.
I shake my head.
“Okay, let’s hit the road.”
He leads the way toward the exit, and I follow closely behind, as we maneuver our way through the sparse crowd and outside.
As soon as we step into the sun, I inhale the thick late-August air, smelling the blacktop and the trees lining the parking lot beyond. The breeze tickles the hair on my arms, and even though the sky is cloudless and everything is green, I feel tempted to unwrap the jacket tied around my waist and put it on. We cross the walkway, barely needing to look for cars, because traffic is worse in line for the valet at my parents’ country club on a Sunday afternoon. I like it. No horns or woofers shaking the pavement.
He stops behind a black truck, but instead of popping down the tailgate, he just hauls my suitcase over the side and into the bed. Reaching back, he takes my other case and does the same.
I pick up my carry-on to help, but he quickly grabs that one, too, the tight cords in his arm flexing and shining in the sun.
“I should’ve traveled lighter,” I think out loud.
He turns. “It’s not just a visit.”
Yeah, maybe. I’m still not sure, but I thought it was best to bring enough for the long haul if I decided to stay.
We climb into the truck, and I put my seatbelt on as he starts the engine. On reflex, I reach for my headphones around my neck. But I stop. It would be rude to tune him out, having just met him. My parents never took issue, but they asked me not to wear them around others.
I release the headphones and stare at the radio instead. Please let music be playing.
And as soon as the truck rumbles to life, the radio lights up, playing “Kryptonite” loudly, and for a second, I’m relieved. Small talk hurts.
He pulls out of the parking lot, and I clasp my hands on my lap, turning my head out the window.
“So, I checked into it,” he says over the radio. “We have an online high school that can take care of you.”
I turn my eyes on him.
He explains, “We have a lot of kids here who are needed on the ranches and such, so it’s pretty common to homeschool or complete classes online.”
Oh.
I relax a little. For a moment, I thought he expected me to attend school. I had prepared myself for living in a new place, but not getting accustomed to new teachers and classmates. I barely knew the ones I’d been with for the past three years.
Either way, he needn’t have bothered. I took care of it.
“I can stay at Brynmor,” I tell him, turning my eyes back out the window. “My school in Connecticut was happy to work with my…absence. My teachers have already emailed my syllabi, and I’ll be able to complete everything online.”