CHAPTER 53
ALEXIA GREEN.
Don’t engage.
Obey. Obey him, Lex.
Obey because no one is coming to save you.
Christian he—is dead?
“Why do you have to make this hard, doll? You are the one who makes me do things I don’t want to do. You think I like hitting you? You think this makes me happy, Lexy?”
He asks me.
It’s the same questions he’s been asking me every time he slaps me and kicks me on the floor like a dog, he wants to kick to the curb but can’t.
I raise my eyes from the pits of despair I’ve been wallowing in.
‘You think I like being hit constantly? You think I don’t want to die? You think I can’t still feel your hands on me promising that you won’t hurt me and that you love me?’
It’s been two weeks!
Two weeks and my cheeks throb like crazy. No amount of ice packs he throws to me tone down the swelling.
Two weeks and my back is sore, every part of me is sore, every part of me is crumbling and sifting through my hands like sand and I can’t do anything.
I can’t hit him.
I can’t take the gun mocking me from the back of his jeans because he has the power.
He has my baby.
He holds Millie every chance he gets making sure I’m not alone with her.
Making sure my baby forgets me and all the resolve in my body to fight dims.
Right now, as he stares me down with ire and fake compassion, he has Millie in his arms and all my baby has done is sob constantly.
“R-Rhett please…I’ll just feed her. I won’t do anything else, let me feed her please. Please, I’m begging you…please let me…”
My voice cracks.
My chest hurts.
My stomach growls both with contempt for this man and the bleeding marks on my hands.
“Don’t cry, doll. I don’t like seeing you cry.”
“Then stop this madness! You have us locked tight in this house; you already killed him. You know no one’s coming for us so please stop—please just…stop.”
“Do you miss him?”
That maliciousness is back in his voice and on his face.
The Rhett that watches TV while Millie cries in his arms is back.
The Rhett that took one good look at my body that had been littered with hickeys from…from Christian is back and he is angry.
And he is holding my baby in his psychotic hands.
“Rhett-.”
“Do you miss him? Do you wish it was me dying in that explosion instead of him?”
Yes. A million times yes.
But the universe likes assholes like Rhett.
The universe likes taking things from me but I won’t let it take Millie. Not Millie, not ever.
So, I lie.
I lie like I’ve been lying to him to save Millie.
Because being with another man upped the kill switch in Rhett’s mind. He went from crazy to borderline insane.
I say anything wrong and I earn another kick to my ribs, another slap, another night sleeping in the basement and Millie has to feed, I can’t die because Millie has to be fed.
“No. I love you”, I mutter, my throat constricting and threatening to wring out all the air I’ve been holding in my lungs.
“Damn right you do. Stand up, clean yourself. I want you in the bedroom waiting for me, doll. Don’t try anything stupid.”
On wobbly legs, looking at Millie one last time, my legs lead me down to the bedroom in this fancy condo Rhett brought us to.
In this place, no one will ever think to look.
In a city that would be the last place Rhett would be.
In Miami.
I use the wall as my clutch, the bitter tears on my cheek feel warmer than the riot in my stomach.
By the time I sit on the bed, my clothes torn apart, my hair all over the place, I don’t clean myself up.
I sit. I cry then I laugh.
“What did you think Alexia? That your whirlwind romance would save you from the real world? You dug your grave; you chose this bastard and you’ll rot in this place forever.”
I say out loud.
Feeling nauseous over the blood on me, my own blood lining my thighs and hands, I steel my jaw.
I wait for Rhett.
Just stay still, let him have his way and he’ll let you hold Millie.
I’ll be with Millie after this.
Rhett’s footsteps echo from the hallway, the last time he did this I fought, he hit me and he still got what he wanted.
Right now, even as he walks in, even as he gazes at me with contempt for not cleaning up like he instructed, I remain immobile.
He towers before me.
He holds me by my chin.
I’d say I know what he is thinking but this is Rhett. He’s an unreadable bastard.
Our eyes lock, the spitfire in his eyes comes in the form of him letting go of my chin and slapping my cheek so hard I barely have time to blink.
I cough against the mattress, blood spewing from the corners of my mouth.
“Is this how you prepped yourself for him? Is this how you opened your legs for him? Or are you only sad when it’s me doing the taking, doll?”
The metallic taste of blood in my own mouth almost makes me gag but he is not done.
I feel his grip on my hair holding me up, leveling me up with him.
I don’t sob.
Sobbing fuels his ego.
My scalp hurts, a migraine sweeps in like a torrent hurricane but I bar my teeth holding in the pain.
Me not crying somehow aggravates him.
Because this man thinks he is the only one who can make you sob, can make you beg, can make love to you.
I watch as his hands knot into a fist and I smile.
Hit me you heartless motherfucker.
The punch comes as expected.
What doesn’t prepare me as always is the pain.
The pain that travels like static from one part of my brain to the other nearly cracking my skull open.
All the sounds stop at once, all the light snuffs at once too as my body gives in to gravity.
Rhett finally wins again.
***
“What is it, Daddy?”
My tiny hands gloss over the small necklace in my hands that dazzles and sparkles like a princess dress.
Daddy’s hand ruffles through my hair messing it up and I laugh telling him to stop.
Mommy combed my hair and put my favorite ribbons in it so that Daddy and I could go to the festival together.
“That is a present for Mommy, hopefully she doesn’t get too mad that we forgot about her Chinese takeout.”
Mommy is always funny since she bought her big belly from the supermarket.
She cries at Daddy every time and she says it’s belly hormones. Daddy says it’s my little sister telling us she’s healthy. I can’t wait to meet her.
“Will she get mad too because we got chocolate and ice cream before dinner?”
“Hey, that’s our little secret, princess. We pinky swore”, he chuckles and I chuckle along with him, playing with the pretty necklace.
“Secret! I cross my heart and hope to die.”
Then I jump in his arms and he holds me with his big hands, the ones I like swinging from while he holds meetings with the boring people at home.
“How did we get so lucky with you, Alex?”
“I’m always lucky!”
My little hands entwine around his neck only for a brief moment.
Our driver, Mr. Mancini, shouts from the front, “Sir Alessandro-.”
Red and green lights coalesce, thunder booms from the outside of our car, my father holds my little body and hides me beneath the car seats as something crashes the right side of our car sending us flying.
I scream my heart out, the sound of metal crashing and dirt and dust chokes my lungs as tears brim with every spin we take, with every smell of gas and something more.
Our car comes crashing down with a thud.
My chest burns.
My throat hurts.
Tears make me not see anything.
The sound of our car honking echoes over and over.
“Stop it! Stop! Stop!”
I scream.
“Ale…Alessandra— “ Daddy’s voice makes me still.
I open my eyes and there is Daddy above me.
Warm liquid falls on my face and it’s…red.
“Daddy?” I call even though I can see the metal pinning him to the roof of the car.
The metal in his gut that’s dropping some of his blood on me.
“Daddy, no! No. No please. Mr. Mancini? Mr. Mancini, Daddy is hurt.”
I turn to face our driver. He is not hearing us because the car is making a lot of noise.
He will save Daddy.
Mr. Mancini’s face is close to me and his eyes are open with blood falling on his face.
My voice tumbles out as a scream.
“Al…ex. Baby girl, y—you have to move.”
“No. No.”
“See the…the door? T-the lock? P-Press on it.”
“No.”
“Press on it, baby girl. Let’s play a game of…hide and seek. This—is where you run and hide and I come find you. Alex?
For d-daddy, yeah?”
“You’ll…find me?”
“Always. The lock.”
Daddy stares at the lock and I follow his gaze.
I press on the lock and the door opens bringing in the cold harsh wind.
“Run and…hide.”
“Okay.”
I crawl underneath the metal, my hands finding the grass and the dirt.
Daddy smiles at me nodding at me.
I cry but I obey.
Daddy will come find me.
I run and run and run till I find a tree and hide behind it.
Like how daddy used to do it, I count.
“One, two, three. One two three. One two-.”
A banging sound explodes behind me. A large fire blows out smoke to the stars.
“Daddy?”
The smell, Daddy, Mr. Mancini, the car, the fire, it becomes too much.
I start walking away from the fire.
Each step makes me forget.
Each step makes the pain in my chest hurt less.
My brain locks down.
***
Gulping breath like I’m just from drowning, I open my eyes.
Dad. I had a dad. My dad he—he died, protecting me?
My migraine intensifies. I try to stand as old memories clash with my new ones.
My first thoughts go to Millie.
“Millie.”
Rhett hit me.
Then he put me here.
Where is here? Why did he switch off the lights?
“Doll- “, Rhett’s voice calls out from the darkness and I try to scoot away from him.
“Don’t touch me. Where are we? Why don’t you switch on the lights you bastard and confront me face to face?”
He doesn’t speak. Why is he not speaking?