I leaned against the wall. I didn’t feel like going anywhere. The room was spinning and I was starting to feel hot. With another look at me, Growl headed off to where Cosimo was talking to Falcone. The crowd parted for him with fear and sick fascination, and he towered over them, strong and tall and proud, despite their whispers.
I wished I could be like that, but deep down I still cared what people said. It hurt to see them judging and pitying me. I closed my eyes against their scrutiny and soon lost all sense of time.
A touch on my shoulder roused me from my stupor. My eyelids felt heavy as I opened them. Growl scowled down at me and I shied back from the anger on his face. “Never close your eyes around your enemies. You won’t survive like that.”
I smiled tiredly. “As if you ever take your eyes off me. Nobody can hurt me when you’re around. If someone ends up killing me, then that’s probably you.”
Growl didn’t deny it. He wrapped his fingers around my upper arm and steered me toward the door. I followed him in a trance-like state. When we got outside, the fresh air helped me regain my senses and I gulped down the oxygen eagerly.
But I still wasn’t in the best state of mind and it took me a while to notice a man leaning against a car and smoking a cigarette. I didn’t know him but Growl seemed to recognize him from the way his fingers on my arm tightened in warning.
“Nice catch,” the man called.
Growl ignored him and tried to pull me past him, but the man pushed away from the car, threw the cigarette down on the ground and smashed it with his shoe. He smirked. “How do you fit your big cock into that small lady mouth of her?” He sounded drunk, and I swore to myself never to drink as much as tonight again.
Growl suddenly tore away from me and I stumbled but caught my balance in the last second, bracing myself again another car. I whirled around upon hearing a muffled scream. Growl had grabbed the man by the neck and threw him down on the ground. He kicked him in the ribs twice before he leaned down and punched him in the face. The man moaned and blood spewed out of his nose and mouth. “Don’t,” Growl rasped in a voice that sent cold chills down my back. “Don’t ever talk like that again or I’ll gut you and strangle you with your fucking bowels.”
The man coughed.
“Understood?” Growl asked, shaking the man roughly.
“Yeah,” gasped the man in a blood-soaked voice.
Growl wiped his hands on the man’s suit before he straightened up and sent one of the bellboys a warning look. Then he returned to me with a calm expression. No sign of his previous fury was visible.
“Why did you do that?” I asked as he led me toward his car, which was parked on the side of the road near the entrance gates.
Growl helped me into the driver’s seat. “Because you’re mine and I won’t let anyone talk shit about you.”
“In the house, at the party, they were all talking about me.”
Growl looked back toward the brightly lit house and for a moment I worried he’d storm back inside and beat up a few more guests, but then his gaze settled on me. “They were clever enough not to say anything when I could hear them, and most only feel sorry for you. They say bad things about me, not you.”
The way he stood there, with a few droplets of blood on his white shirt and cold determination on his striking face, he looked like my avenging angel. Who could be better to seek revenge than Growl? He knew how to hurt people, how to destroy them. Could I convince him to help my sister and mother? Even if he never let me go, perhaps he’d at least help them get away from Las Vegas and start anew. He was conflicted, I could tell. Could I make him go against Falcone after all? His amber eyes bored into mine, and a flicker of hope rose in me. I wouldn’t give up. He was my only chance.
Growl
I had been suspicious from the start. Why would Falcone invite us? Now I knew. It was to humiliate Cara, and by doing so, me. I had never cared about what people said, what Falcone said. I’d lived my life, tried to survive, never wanted or needed much.
Falcone’s only purpose tonight had been to humiliate Cara. My blood boiled at the memory. I didn’t let anyone humiliate something that was mine, especially Cara.
For some reason that girl meant something to me. I’d never cared for anyone, except for my dogs and perhaps myself, but with Cara, I wasn’t sure what was happening to me. I didn’t want to care about her. I knew she didn’t want me. What she was doing was tactic, a way for her to survive what had been meant as a horrible punishment.
I didn’t know what was going on in her. Perhaps she didn’t hate me as much as I suspected. Sometimes she looked as if she didn’t hated being around me that much. She enjoyed my touch and sex and my kisses, that was obvious. That was something I could understand, but beyond that, she remained a mystery to me.
And it didn’t matter either way. She was mine and I would protect her. Even against Falcone. That man had been ruining my life for far too long. I’d never found the motivation to go against the man despite everything Falcone had done to me.
I wasn’t even sure why. I would kill anyone that tried to kill me. I wouldn’t even hesitate. But Falcone? I wasn’t sure what had been keeping me from revenge all these years. Falcone was my father, but I didn’t think that was why. I didn’t feel anything when I said or thought the word ‘father’. It was an empty word for me. And yet my father was still alive. Had I deep down been hoping that Falcone would see me as his son? I couldn’t even answer that question. And now I didn’t have to anymore. It was irrelevant why I hadn’t taken revenge on the man yet.
Something had changed. And the reason for it was Cara. In some way, Falcone had set everything in motion. By giving Cara to me, he’d signed his own death warrant, because I wanted to help Cara get revenge. I wanted nothing more. Falcone always called me his killing machine. Falcone had created the monster, and now it would come to kill its creator.
Perhaps she’d stop hating me if I did. I couldn’t hope for more than that. I knew nobody could ever truly come to care for me, and I’d accepted that.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Cara
Growl had been very quiet since we’d returned from the party yesterday. I couldn’t tell if it meant that he was still thinking about helping me.
Growl flicked his thumb over my clit, tearing me from my thoughts. He pushed a finger into me. “I want your full attention,” he rumbled, pushing into me again.
I nodded quickly, and banished any worry from my mind. This was my reprieve.
Suddenly Growl pulled his hand away. Confusion rushed through me. ”What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Touch yourself,” he ordered, sitting back on his haunches.
I flushed with embarrassment. The last time I’d done that had ended in mortification. “It’s not right,” I said.
Growl barked out a laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about right as long as it feels good. We’ve done so many things that are not right. Don’t tell me this is worse.”
I stared at him, arms at my side. “I can’t do that with you watching.”
“But you’ve touched yourself before?”
I hesitated. “Yes,” I admitted reluctantly. Again shame washed over me like so many months ago. I wasn’t sure why it still bothered me so much. After all, Growl was right. I’d done a lot of worse things with him.
“And it had felt good, right?”
I shrugged half-heartedly. “It was okay.”
Growl raised an eyebrow. He gripped my wrist and pushed my hand between my legs. I jumped at the feeling of my fingers brushing my center. I tried to jerk away, but Growl was holding me tight. “Stop trying to do what’s right and do what feels good for you. You’re fucking overthinking everything again.”
I glared at him. “Don’t tell me what I like and whatnot. Maybe I don’t enjoy touching myself.”
Growl just looked at me. He covered my forefinger with his and guided mine between my folds. My fingertip brushed my clit, then glided through my wetness. I shuddered at the sensation. Growl kept sliding our fingers back and forth in a slow rhythm. His eyes bored into mine, and it took everything I had not to close my eyes to hide from his gaze. He guided my finger lower until I nudged my opening. My eyes grew wide. I’d never done that. I knew how much I liked it when Growl did it though. I hesitated, but Growl didn’t let my insecurity get the better of me. He pushed my finger into me with his finger. I gasped in surprise and lust as both our fingers filled me. The feeling was incredible, and the hunger in Growl’s amber eyes only added to my own desire. This felt so wrong but so unbelievably good. Growl established a slow rhythm, sliding our fingers in and out of me. It was incredible how wet and soft I felt.
“How does it feel?” Growl rasped.
I shook my head, unwilling to give him a reply. I couldn’t admit aloud that this felt good. It was bad enough that I was enjoying it so much. Growl halted our fingers, his gaze becoming challenging. “How. Does. It. Feel?”
I bucked my hips, trying to keep up the sensation, but Growl stopped me with his arm.
“Good,” I said angrily. “It feels good.”
A smirk crossed Growl’s face, then it was gone, but he finally started moving again. He pushed our fingers harder into me, and I was getting closer to my orgasm but something was still missing.
“Touch your clit,” Growl said.
This time I didn’t hesitate. My other hand came down and I pressed two fingers down on my clit. I moaned, but quickly clamped my lips together, embarrassed by the sound when Growl was watching me so closely. As if he could tell that I had trouble letting myself fall over the edge while he was watching, his gaze travelled down my body and he watched how our hands and fingers moved in sync to drive me closer to release. And then when it finally crashed down on me, everything fell out of focus and I let everything out even when Growl turned his eyes back to me. I couldn’t hold back, didn’t want to. I hadn’t even caught my breath when Growl pushed to his feet and started undressing. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to the sight of him naked. His tattoo, his scars, his muscles, all about him screamed danger, screamed stay away, and yet every cell in my body seemed to crave his closeness. His cock was already standing to attention and it intensified the prickling between my legs again. I knew what was coming now and I couldn’t wait. For a moment he stood in the middle of the room, admiring me. But, I, too couldn’t get enough of letting my eyes roam over his body. Would this ever stop?
When my eyes returned to his face, his expression almost made me moan. He staggered toward me and climbed on the bed. I waited for him to climb on top of me and fuck me. But he surprised me by lying flat on his back. Confusion drew my brows together but before I could ask what he was doing, he gripped my hips and lifted me on top of him, so I was straddling his hips. His tip pressed against my opening and a thrill shot through my body at the sensation. Growl’s hands on my waist tightened after a moment. Uncertainty flooded me. I wasn’t exactly sure how to do this, but I didn’t want to admit it aloud. Gathering my courage, I steadied myself against Growl’s rock-hard chest. Focusing on his muscles and not the intensity of his eyes, I slowly lowered myself on his cock. A long moan escaped my lips at the feel of his length sliding into me deeper than ever before. I exhaled slowly when he was all the way in and I sat comfortably on top of him. I’d never felt this full before. It was incredible.
Growl moved his hips upwards a few inches and my eyes flew up to his. There was strain in his face. I smiled and his eyes flashed. Digging my nails into his chest the way he liked it, I lifted myself slowly, letting his cock glide out of me. I focused on tensing my inner muscles to make it even more intense for Growl, wanting to drive him to the brink of insanity. He gave my butt a light clap, making my eyes go wide and a surprised gasp, followed by a laugh slipped out of my mouth.
There was something close to playfulness in his expression. I started moving faster. My butt cheeks accidentally brushed his balls and he exhaled sharply. I faltered, unsure if that was a good sign but one look at his face erased all of my worries. He liked it. A lot.
I twisted my hips, making sure to press my butt against his balls every time I lowered myself. Growl’s breath grew faster and the low growls I adored came from deep in his throat again. My own body tightened in anticipation of an orgasm, and when I leaned forward slightly, my clit brushed his pubic bone and I came apart. My fingers dug even deeper into his skin and I moved faster, pushing my own orgasm into new heights. And then Growl’s body shuddered beneath me and I felt him release into me, teasing my tender inner walls even more. I cried out, throwing my head back. “Oh God,” I said.
When my heartbeat slowed, I opened my eyes and peered down at the man beneath me. He was watching me with surprise.
“What?” I said self-consciously.
Growl ran his finger over my breast, then slowly down my stomach until it came to rest over my clit. I shuddered, still too sensitive for his touch.
“This was the first time you were loud.”
My already hot face heated even more. “Loud?” I glanced toward the curtain-covered window, worried about the neighbors. Had they heard anything?
“Don’t worry about them. They don’t care if that bastard from across the street beats his wife to a bloody pulp. They won’t give a shit about you screaming your head off because you’re getting off.”
I stared at him. His dirty language still got me sometimes. But he was right. I’d lost count of the times I’d heard the woman from across the street scream, and nothing had ever happened.