CHAPTER FOUR
Two years later
Liliana
Sometimes it felt like I had to prove myself to Father every day. He waited for me to mess up like Gianna had, but I wasn’t sure how that was even possible; he never let me out of sight. Unless I started something with one of my ancient bodyguards, there was no way I could sully my honor. But Father hadn’t forgiven Gianna yet, which was why I hadn’t seen her in almost two years. She was forbidden from coming to Chicago, and I wasn’t allowed to visit New York. If it wasn’t for Aria’s sneakiness, I wouldn’t even have been able to talk to Gianna on the phone.
Sometimes even I felt anger toward Gianna because her escape had turned my life into hell. Maybe Father would have been less strict if Gianna had played by the rules. And then there were moments when I admired her for her daring behavior. There wasn’t a night when I didn’t dream of freedom. I didn’t really want to run but I wished I could carve myself out more freedom in my life. Freedom to date, freedom to fall in love and be with that person.
I didn’t even remember how it felt to be in love. Just like Gianna, I hadn’t seen Romero in almost two years. What I’d felt for him back then hadn’t been love, not even close. It had been admiration and fascination, I knew that now. But there had been nobody else either. Of course, it was hard to meet someone to fall in love with if you went to an all-girls school and weren’t allowed to go anywhere alone.
The sound of glass shattering downstairs tore me from my thoughts. I jumped off my bed and opened my door. “Mother?” I called. She’d been gone all morning. There was no answer but I could hear someone moving in the kitchen.
I crept out of my room and down the stairs. “Mother?” I tried again when I’d almost reached the door to the kitchen. Still no answer. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. A wine bottle lay broken on the floor, red wine spilled around it. Mother was kneeling beside it, her cream-colored skirt slowly soaking up the liquid, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was staring down at a shard in her palm as if it held the answer to all her questions. I’d never seen her like that. I walked toward her. “Mom?” I almost never called her that, but it felt like the right choice at the moment.
She looked up, her blue eyes unfocused and teary. “Oh, you are home?”
“Where else would I be?” I wanted to ask, but instead I touched her shoulder and said, “What’s the matter? Are you alright?”
She stared down at the broken piece of glass in her hand again, then dropped it to the floor. I helped her to her feet. She wasn’t steady on her legs and I could smell alcohol on her breath. It was still early for her to start drinking, and she wasn’t really much of a drinker at all.
“I was at the doctor’s.”
I froze. “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”
“Lung cancer,” she said with a small shrug. “Stage three.”
My throat constricted. “But you never smoked! How is that even possible?”
“It can happen,” she said. “I’ll have to start chemotherapy soon.”
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling helpless and small under the weight of that news. “Does Father know?”
“I couldn’t reach him. He didn’t answer his phone.”
Of course not. Why should he answer a call from his wife? He was probably with one of his mistresses. “We need to tell Aria and Gianna. They need to know.”
Mother gripped my arm. “No,” she said firmly. “It’ll ruin their Christmas. I don’t want them to know yet. There’s no reason to worry them. I haven’t spoken to Gianna in a long time anyway, and Aria has enough on her plate as wife of the Capo.”
“But, Mom, they’d want to know.”
“Promise me you won’t tell them,” she demanded.
I nodded slowly. What else could I do?
* * *
Two hours later I heard Father come home and another thirty minutes later, Mother’s light steps came upstairs and then the door to the master bedroom closed. She’d been alone. Was Father still downstairs? I left my room and went to his office on the first floor. After a moment of hesitation, I knocked. I needed to talk to him.
Our Christmas party would be in two weeks and now that Mother was sick, Gianna should be invited. She and Mother should get the chance to spend some time together and reconcile.
“Come in,” Father said.
I opened the door and poked my head in, half expecting to see him devastated and crying, but he was bent over some papers, working. I walked in, confused. “Has Mother talked to you?” Maybe she hadn’t told him about her cancer.
He looked up. “Yes, she did. She’ll be starting treatment with the best doctor in Chicago next week.”
“Oh, okay.” I paused, hoping for something else from Father but he watched me without a hint of emotion on his face. “I was thinking that Mother needs the support of her family now more than ever. Of her whole family.”
Father raised his eyebrows. “And?”
“I think we should invite Gianna to our Christmas party. She and Mother haven’t seen each other in a long time. I’m sure Mother would be very happy to see Gianna again.”
Father’s face darkened. “I won’t have that whore in my house. Maybe Matteo has forgiven her and even married her despite her transgressions but I’m not that kind.”
No, kind definitely wasn’t a word I’d use for my father. “But Mother needs every bit of support she can get.”
“No, and that’s my last word,” he growled. “And your mother doesn’t want people to know about her sickness. They’d only start to get suspicious if we invited Gianna. We’ll act as if nothing is wrong. You won’t even tell your sisters or anyone else, do you understand?”
I nodded. But how could I keep that kind of secret from everyone?
* * *
The house was decorated beautifully for our Christmas party. Everything was perfect. The scent of roast beef and truffled mashed potatoes carried through the rooms, but I couldn’t enjoy it. Mother had spent yesterday and the majority of this morning throwing up because of her treatment. With several layers of makeup, you couldn’t tell how pale she was but I knew. Only Father and I knew. Even Fabi didn’t have a clue.
Aria and Luca arrived only minutes before the other guests. They stayed in a hotel anyway so it wasn’t too hard to keep Mother’s state from them. Aria smiled brightly when she saw me and hugged me. “God, Lily. You look so beautiful.”
I smiled tightly. I’d been so excited when I’d found the silver dress a few weeks ago because it made me feel grown up and accentuated my curves in just the right way, but today my excitement over something like a piece of clothing felt ridiculous.
Aria pulled away and searched my face. “Is everything okay?”
I nodded quickly and turned my attention to Luca who’d waited patiently behind my sister for his turn. He gave me a quick hug. It still felt strange to have him greet me that way. “Father is still in his office and Mother is in the kitchen,” I explained. At least I hoped Mother wasn’t in the bathroom, throwing up again.
Luca walked past me and my gaze landed on Romero who’d been hidden behind Luca’s massive frame. My eyes widened at the sight of him. I hadn’t expected him to come. Last year Luca had come alone with Aria. After all, he was more than capable to protect her.
“Hello,” I said casually, sounding way more composed than I felt. I hadn’t quite gotten over my crush on Romero but I realized with relief that I wasn’t a quivering mess around him anymore. The last few months and weeks had changed me.
Romero
Luca had business to conduct with Scuderi and Dante Cavallaro; that was the only reason why I’d come to Chicago with them at all. And now as I stood in the doorway to the Scuderi mansion, staring at Liliana, I wondered if I shouldn’t have come up with an excuse. The last time I’d seen Lily she’d been a girl, and while she still wasn’t a woman, she’d grown a lot. She was fucking stunning. It was difficult not to look at her. It was easy to forget that there were still a few months until she’d be of age, easy to forget that she was way out of my league.
She tilted her head in greeting and stepped back. Where had the blushing, flirting girl gone? I had to admit I was sad that she wasn’t giving me her flirty smile, though it had always bothered me in the past.
I followed Luca and Aria into the house. I could hear Lily’s steps close behind me, could smell her flowery perfume and even see her slender frame from the corner of my eye. It took a lot of restraint not to glimpse over my shoulder to get another good look at her.
I spent the next couple of hours watching her discreetly as I pretended to be busy guarding Aria, not that I had much to do anyway. But the more I watched Lily, the more I realized that something was wrong. Whenever she thought nobody was paying attention to her, she seemed to deflate, her smile falling, her shoulders slumping. She was a good actress when she gave it her full attention but her few moments of inattentiveness were enough for me. Over the years as a bodyguard, I’d learned to be aware of even the smallest signs.
When she left the living room and didn’t come back, worry overcame me, but she wasn’t my responsibility. Aria was. I glanced at Luca’s wife. She was deep in conversation with her mother and Valentina Cavallaro. I excused myself. She’d be safe here. Luca was just across the room in what looked like an argument with Dante and Scuderi.
Once I found myself in the foyer, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure where Liliana had gone and I could hardly search the entire house for her. If someone found me, they might think I was spying for Luca. A sound from the corridor to my right attracted my attention and upon making sure that I was alone, I followed it until I caught sight of Liliana. She leaned against the wall, her head was thrown back, her eyes closed. I could tell she was trying to keep it together, and yet even like that, she was a sight to behold. Fucking gorgeous with long blond hair, immaculate skin, high cheekbones and slender figure. One day a man would be very lucky to be married to her.
The idea didn’t sit well with me but I didn’t linger on my inappropriate reaction. I walked toward her, making sure to make my steps audible so she knew she wasn’t alone anymore. She tensed, her eyes fluttering open but when she spotted me, she relaxed again and turned away. I wasn’t sure what to make of her reaction to my presence. I stopped a couple of steps from her, a proper distance. My gaze traveled over her long, lean legs, her narrow waist before I quickly moved on to her face. “Liliana, are you okay? You’ve been gone for a long time.”
“Why do you insist on calling me Liliana when everyone always calls me Lily?” She opened her eyes again, blue eyes surrounded by thick dark lashes that kept you mesmerized, and smiled bitterly. She had fucking amazing eyes, and amazing pink lips. Damn it. “Did my sister tell you to watch me?” she asked with a hint of accusation in her soft voice.
As if I needed someone to tell me. It had been almost impossible to keep my eyes off Liliana tonight. “No, she didn’t,” I said simply. She didn’t need to know why I had come to look for her. She was young and regardless of her immature attempts at flirting in the past, she was innocent.
Her blue eyes held confusion, then she turned her face to the side, leaving me to stare at her profile. Her chin wobbled but she swallowed and her expression evened out. “Don’t you need to watch Aria?”
“Luca is there,” I said. I moved a bit closer, too close. Lily’s perfume wafted into my nose, made me want to bury my face in her hair. God, I was losing my fucking mind. “I can tell that something is wrong. Why don’t you tell me?”
Lily straightened with narrowed her eyes. “Why? I’m not your responsibility. And last time we saw each other you didn’t seem to like me very much.”
Was she still mad at me for stopping her from kissing me at her birthday party more than two years ago? What kind of man would have returned that kiss? “Maybe I can help you,” I said instead.
She sighed, her shoulders slumping. With that weary expression, she looked older somehow, like a grown woman, and I had to remind myself of my promise and oath again. Her eyes brimmed with tears when she peered up at me but they didn’t fall.
“Hey,” I said softly. I wanted to touch her, brush her hair away from her. Fuck. I wanted much more than that, but I stayed where I was. I couldn’t go around touching a daughter of the Outfit’s Consigliere. I shouldn’t even have been alone with her.
“You can’t tell anyone,” she said.
I hesitated. Luca was my Capo. There were certain things I couldn’t keep from him. “You know I can’t promise you that without knowing what you’re going to tell me.” And then I wondered if maybe she was pregnant, if maybe someone had broken her heart, and the idea made me furious. I wasn’t supposed to want her, I shouldn’t want her, and yet…