Romero had sounded as if he didn’t care at all that he might lose everything. I knew he loved the Famiglia, was proud to be a part of it. He loved this life, but he’d have to leave it behind if he helped me escape this marriage. Luca wouldn’t risk war. His people would mutiny. He’d have no choice but to give up Romero and hand him over to the Outfit. Aria might destroy her marriage if she tried to blackmail Luca into helping me. He’d forgiven her once for betraying him, but would he do it again?
Could I risk everyone’s happiness for my own?
Someone hammered against my door and then Father stepped in without warning. I stood immediately. His expression was thunderous. “What did you tell your sister? Why are she and Luca trying to get involved in our family? Did you really think they could make me change my mind about your wedding?”
“They want to help because they’re worried about me.”
“I don’t care!” he roared. “You are going to marry Benito, end of story.”
“I can’t,” I said desperately.
“You can and you will.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore. If you don’t want people to find out you can’t let me marry Benito!” I blurted.
Father stormed toward me, gripped my arms and pushed me against the wall. The back of my head rang from the impact.
“What did you say?” he snarled.
I gaped up into his menacing face.
He shook me hard until my vision turned blurry. Suddenly Fabi raced into the room. He tore at Father’s arm, trying to free me, but Father lashed out. Fabi landed on the floor, his face flashing with pain.
“Go back to your room, boy. Now, or I swear I’ll make you regret it.”
My arms hurt from Father’s grip, but I gave Fabi a small nod. I wanted him to leave. He didn’t need to get into trouble because of me. Fabi struggled to his feet and after a moment of hesitation, he limped out of my room. When he was out of view, Father turned back around to me.
I quivered.
“Tell me the truth.”
I couldn’t talk. I regretted ever having mentioned anything. Father really looked as if he wanted to kill me.
He slapped me hard across the face but didn’t release me. “Who was it? Who turned you into a little whore? Someone from the Famiglia, wasn’t it?”
Tears burned in my eyes but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t tell Father the truth. “No,” I said quickly. “I met him in a club, it’s no one you know.”
“I don’t believe a fucking word you say, you disgusting slut. And it doesn’t matter. You will marry Benito and you’ll scream like a little scared virgin on your wedding night so he doesn’t doubt your innocence. I swear, if you ruin this for me, I’ll break every bone in your body.” He let me go and stepped back, eyes hateful. “And if you try to get out of this wedding, and maybe even ask your sisters for help, believe me, war between the Outfit and the Famiglia is only the beginning. I’ll personally hunt you and your sisters down, and then I’ll figure out who fucked you and skin that asshole alive. Do you understand?”
I gave a jerky nod. Father looked like he wanted to spit on me. Instead he turned on his heel and walked out.
I slumped to the ground. Everything was really over now. I couldn’t allow Father to hurt everyone I loved only because I wanted to get out of my wedding with Benito. The image of Father’s hateful eyes seemed burned into my brain.
If I married Benito, the Outfit and Famiglia would keep working together. Fabi would be safer, everyone would be safer. I’d be able to see my sisters and Fabi at least occasionally and Romero could keep working for Luca. He’d get over me and find someone else.
And I? Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t even know Benito. Maybe he wasn’t a horrible guy. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t gotten a taste of happiness. Being with Romero had been amazing. It was something I’d never regret and would always cherish. It was time to do the right thing. Maria had accepted her fate. So many girls had before me. I should too, if only to keep my loved ones safe.
Once I’d made up my mind, I felt relief, then deep sadness. I lay down but sleep wouldn’t come. I remembered the longing in Mother’s eyes before her death and couldn’t help but wonder if the same look would be in my eyes one day.
Romero
I’d have never thought I’d ever consider going against the Famiglia, but I could not watch Lily getting married to that man. She was mine and I didn’t care what I’d have to do to keep it that way. Luca had been eying me almost all day yesterday. He’d never looked at me with true suspicion in his eyes before. I had to admit it hurt to know he didn’t trust me anymore, and worse that he had every right to be wary of me. I’d gone against his direct orders, broken my oath, and betrayed the people who’d been as close, maybe even closer than my own family. When I came to Luca and Aria’s penthouse that morning, I saw it in Luca’s gaze that he knew he’d lost me. Another Capo might have eliminated me right then to prevent worse. Aria gave me an encouraging smile but I didn’t miss that Luca left without kissing her. That never happened and was a fucking bad sign.
As soon as I could I called Lily. The phone rang almost two dozen times before I gave up. Aria shot me a worried look. “Maybe she’s still having breakfast with Fabi and Father.”
I waited a couple of minutes before I tried again. If she didn’t answer this time, I’d book a fucking flight to Chicago today and get her. To my relief, Lily picked up after the third ring.
“Where were you? I tried to call you before. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The detachment in her tone made me pause. It felt like there was a barrier between us that had nothing to do with our physical separation.
“I’ve been thinking about the best way to go about it and I think I should fly over to you as soon as possible. Luca is getting more and more suspicious, so we need to act quickly.”
“I don’t think we should do it.”
“Do what?” I asked carefully.
“Run away.”
“I know you don’t want to leave your sisters, but maybe Luca will take us in later. Aria might change his mind.”
“No,” she said firmly. “I mean I don’t want you to come here and take me away. I’m going to stay.”
I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. “What are you saying? That you want to marry Benito? I don’t believe that for one second. He could be your father.”
“But he’s an important man. He has many soldiers who follow him.”
“Since when do you care about something like that?”
“I’ve always cared about it. I enjoyed our time together, Romero, but we have to be reasonable. It could never work out between us. You are a soldier and I have a duty to fulfill as the daughter of a Consigliere. We all have to do things we don’t want to do.”
“What the fuck did your father do? This doesn’t sound like you, Lily.”
“Romero, please. Don’t make this harder than it is. You have your responsibilities to Luca. I don’t want you to break your oath.”
“I don’t care about my oath.”
“But you should!” she said angrily. “I don’t want you to come here. It’s over between us, Romero. I’m going to do the right thing and marry Benito. And you should do the right thing and follow Luca’s orders.”
Suddenly I was angry. “So what was this between us? An adventure for the summer? Curiosity about how it would be to fuck a common soldier?”
Lily sucked in a deep breath and I regretted my harsh words, but I was too proud to take them back or apologize. “We can’t talk again,” she said quietly. Was she crying? “We should forget what happened.”
“Don’t worry, I will,” I said, then I hung up. I flung my phone away. “Fuck!”
Aria rushed toward me, alarmed. “What’s wrong? Is it Lily?”
“She wants to go through with marrying Brasci.”
Aria froze. “She said that?”
I nodded. I headed for the kitchen. I needed a cup of coffee. Aria hurried after me. “What else did she say?”
“Not much. Only that Benito is a good catch and that we should both do our duty. Fuck that.”
“She doesn’t mean it, Romero. She loves you. She probably only wants to protect us.”
I wasn’t sure anymore. And even if Aria was right, maybe Lily had a point. I’d devoted my life to the Famiglia. I shouldn’t abandon my oath only because of a woman. I was a Made Man and my priority should always be my job.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Liliana
Aria called me thirty minutes after my call with Romero, trying to talk me out of my plan to marry Benito. But she was already fighting with Luca because of me. I wouldn’t allow her to really put her marriage on the line for my own selfish reasons. I would marry Benito and try to make the best of it.
The next few weeks passed in a blur of wedding dress shopping with Valentina, choosing flowers and the menu, calling important guests to invite them personally. I only saw Benito on two occasions and there wasn’t time for more than a few exchanged words and a kiss on the cheek. That and the fact that I was too busy to be worried, I almost managed to forget that I was actually preparing my wedding to a man I could hardly stand. But reality set in on the day of Father’s wedding to Maria. He hadn’t talked to me since I’d told him I wasn’t a virgin, except on the few occasions when we had to pretend for Benito or other people.
While Gianna and Matteo would arrive later to attend my wedding only, Aria and Luca were also invited to Father’s feast of course, and that meant Romero was with them. I’d hoped he’d decided to stay in New York, not because I didn’t want to see him but because I was scared of facing him, of being confronted with what I was losing.
Luckily, they were all coming directly to church because their plane arrived so late; that meant there was a chance of me being able to avoid an encounter with Romero.
I sat in the front row, Benito beside me. He didn’t touch me in any way, thank God, because it would have been improper before our marriage, but every time Aria looked my way I felt like I was doing something indecent by sitting next to a man I didn’t even want to marry.