CHAPTER TEN
Romero
After Lily had given me that blowjob, I spent the next day thinking about nothing but returning the favor with my tongue. It was a good thing that the mansion wasn’t the most dangerous place, because my focus was gone. I didn’t think I’d have done a good job protecting anyone if there had been an attack.
My cock was so hard it almost hurt as I waited in my bed that night for Lily to come over. When midnight rolled around and she wasn’t there yet, I almost went in search for her. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been that horny.
When my door finally opened and Lily walked in, dressing in a flimsy nightgown, I had to stop myself from shoving her up against the wall and burying myself in her. That was the one thing I couldn’t do. Many borders had already been crossed but that was where I had to draw the line.
Lily hopped into bed and kissed me eagerly. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who’d waited for this. “Gianna and Matteo were in the corridor, so I had to wait,” she said, her fingers already traveling over my chest and down my stomach toward my dick.
I loved her touch, but it was my turn. I grabbed her and flipped her on her back. She gasped in surprise. I hooked my hands in her waistband and slid her panties down her legs, then I paused. This was still new for Lily. I couldn’t treat her like the women I’d been with before. “Is this okay?”
She lifted her legs to help me pull her panties over her feet. She nodded quickly. There was only need in her eyes. I smiled as I stroked her soft calf before I shifted it to the side so I could position myself between her legs and a hint of embarrassment showed on her beautiful face, but I didn’t give her time to think about it. She had nothing to be embarrassed about. I lowered myself to my stomach, pushed her legs farther apart and after a moment to appreciate the sight of her arousal, I took a long lick. Lily let out a gasp, her hand flying to the back of my head.
“Romero,” she said in wonder, and my fucking heart swelled at hearing my name from her lips.
I moved my tongue slowly up and down, and damn it, she tasted even better than I’d imagined. She was coming quickly undone, trembling and gasping so I pulled back and planted a few kisses on her inner thighs and trimmed curls. I didn’t want her to come too soon. She was supposed to enjoy this for a while but her inexperienced body was so very responsive. I dipped my tongue back in and my cock twitched when she let out a long moan, legs falling open to give me better access. She raised her hips, fingers fisting the covers, and I closed my mouth over her clit. She exploded, arching up, legs shaking. She bit her lower lip, face contorted beautifully with passion and the effort to hold her moans in, and I watched her as I slowed my ministrations.
She was beautiful, and I didn’t ever want to have to share her beauty.
Liliana
I’d heard girls talk about boys going down on them in school but I’d never been able to imagine how it would feel to have someone’s mouth on me like that. Would it be strange? Wet? Disgusting? Awkward?
It was none of those things. It was mind-blowingly wonderful. Or maybe that was only because Romero knew exactly what to do, how to nibble and suck and lick until my fingers dug into the mattress because I couldn’t take the pleasure anymore. And it seemed to get better every time we did it. Weeks passed and every night Romero pleasured me with his mouth. He seemed to enjoy it as much as I enjoyed going down on him.
Tonight, he was taking his time and I had no mind to rush him. It felt too good. Romero’s stubble scratched me lightly at times and that intensified the sensations even more. He lifted his head and I huffed in protest.
He chuckled, but didn’t lower his mouth. “Tell me when you’re coming, okay? I want to know.”
“Okay,” I said uncertainly, wondering why he wanted to know, then moaned when Romero closed his lips over my clit and continued where he’d left off.
I could feel myself getting closer. My thighs began to quiver. “I’m coming,” I gasped, too caught up in my pleasure to be embarrassed about it.
Romero’s finger brushed my opening and then he slid it in. I arched off the mattress. There was a flicker of pain but for some reason it made me come even harder.
Eventually I lay motionless on the bed, trying to catch my breath.
Romero blew out a harsh breath. “Goddammit. You’re so tight.”
I couldn’t say anything in response, too overwhelmed by the feeling of him in me. He moved his finger slowly, stroking the inside of my walls, tripling the sensations in my body. Romero’s head rested on my inner thigh as he watched his finger slide in and out of me. I would have been mortified if he hadn’t looked like it was the most amazing sight he’d ever seen. He curled his finger and my hips bucked off the mattress as I gasped in surprise and another orgasm rocked through me.
His eyes on me, he pulled his finger out and actually put it in his mouth. I could only stare, strangely turned on by the sight.
Romero crawled back up to me.
A question burned in my mind. What if the brief pain had meant Romero had broken my hymen? It was ridiculous that I even had to worry about something like that, but I knew the rules and I was still too terrified to break them.
Romero smoothed my brows. “Hey, did I hurt you?”
“No, I…I only wondered if…” I felt embarrassed to voice my worries.
Romero seemed to piece it together by himself, though, and regret crossed his face. “You’re scared that you aren’t a virgin anymore because I put my finger in you.” I couldn’t decipher the emotion in his voice. Was he angry? Annoyed?
He cupped the back of my head. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Lily. I wouldn’t just take your virginity without permission, and even then…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t even think about taking your virginity. But you don’t have to worry. My finger isn’t wide enough and I didn’t go deep enough to do any damage. You’re safe.”
“I wasn’t scared, I just…” Yes, what? I had been worried. There was no denying it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Romero. I did. But that was a huge step, one I couldn’t take back.
“It’s okay. You should be scared about that. Your life would be ruined if you lost your virginity before your wedding night,” he said in a strange tone. He wrapped his arms around me, so I couldn’t look at his face anymore. “I want you to be the one, you know?” I whispered into the dark.
“But I cannot do it,” Romero said, his fingers tightening on my arm.
“Why not?”
“Lily,” Romero said almost angrily. “You know why not. So far we’ve been lucky that we didn’t get caught. Your sisters and Luca are already suspicious as it is. Right now we could still deny everything and nobody would be able to prove the opposite, but if we slept with each other, then there would be evidence.”
“Evidence?” I huffed. “We aren’t planning to commit a crime.”
“In our world it is. We don’t play by the rules of the outside world and you know it.”
“We only want to be together because we love each other. Is that so bad?” I snapped my mouth shut when I realized what I’d said. I’d practically put the words “I love you” into Romero’s mouth when he’d never said them, nothing close to it. I hadn’t either but I knew I loved him. Did he love me as well?
He’d become motionless and for a moment even stopped breathing altogether. “Fuck,” Romero whispered harshly. He pressed a kiss against my temple. “This is spinning out of control.”
“I meant it, Romero,” I said in a small voice. “I love you.”
He was quiet, and I realized he couldn’t, he wouldn’t say it back. “You shouldn’t. We don’t have a future, Lily.”
My heart ached from his words. I didn’t want to believe them to be true. “You don’t know that.”
“You’re right,” Romero said eventually but it was to appease me. He kissed my temple again and then neither of us said anything.
* * *
Romero acted a bit more hesitant around me the next couple of days but it only deepened my resolve. Mother had died with longing in her eyes and regret on her lips. This wasn’t how I wanted to end. I didn’t want to have a pile of “what-ifs” and “how could it have been” in my head during the last hours of my existence. I wanted to look back and not wonder how wonderful life could have been. I wanted Romero. I wanted Romero to be my first, wanted to share everything with him. Right in this moment, I wanted nothing more, and I knew that even if I’d come to regret it, that regret could never be as torturous as the one I’d feel if I didn’t do it, the one where I’d always be left wondering how it would be to become one with the person I loved. Sometimes you had to risk something to live, and Romero was a risk I was willing to take. That was all I could think about as I relished the last few moments of my orgasm.
Romero climbed up my body and brushed a kiss across my lips. He was about to lie down beside me, as he always did after he’d taken care of me, but I held onto his shoulders. “I don’t want to stop tonight.”
He became very still. His dark eyes traced every contour of my face as if he was hoping for a hint of regret somewhere, but I knew he wouldn’t find any. I’d spent too many nights longing and wondering and wishing, and tonight I’d finally get what I wanted. Of course, I needed Romero’s cooperation but I had a feeling he wouldn’t refuse me. He was dutiful and responsible, but he was also a man, and he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes, and his erection pressed up against my hip bone was a pretty good indicator as well. “Lily,” Romero rasped, then cleared his throat. I had to stifle a smile. “That’s something that can’t be undone. Everything we’ve done so far is easy to hide, but beyond this point, there are ways to prove our…transgressions.”
I laughed softly. “Transgressions?” I lifted my head and kissed him. “How can this be wrong?” Of course, I knew that Father and many other people in our world could have written a novel on all the ways it was wrong, but I didn’t care. There was no part in me that thought what we were doing was wrong, and that was all that mattered.
“We discussed this already. I shouldn’t do this. For God’s sake, I made a promise to Luca to protect you. How is ruining your life protecting you?”
“You aren’t ruining my life. I want this, doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Of course it does.”
I pressed myself against him and grasped his cock through his boxers. “I want you. Only you. I want you to be my first.” I wanted him to be my only one. “Don’t you want to be my first?” I said in a small voice, regarding him through my lashes.
Romero exhaled a tortured laugh and kissed the corner of my mouth, then my cheek before his eyes burned into mine again. “You know how much I want you. I can hardly think of anything else but I should resist temptation. I’m bound to the Famiglia, to my oath.”
“Sleeping with me won’t break your oath.”
Romero cupped my cheeks. “Luca ordered me to stay away from you, and I haven’t done it. Luca will see it as disobedience, and that’s breaking my oath.”
“I am the one who should decide if I want you to stay away or not. It’s my body, my life.”
“You know it’s not that easy,” he murmured, eyes so full of emotion my chest constricted with need and love.
I curled my fingers tighter around his erection. “I know but I don’t care. And I know that you want me despite it all.”
He released a harsh breath, then let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve got me in your hands in every possible way. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
I smiled. It felt good to know that I had that kind of power over someone like Romero. But he held just as much power over me, and my heart. It was a scary thing, knowing that someone else had the power to crush your heart with a few words. Love was scary. “I want you to be the one, Romero. I don’t want anyone else. Please.”
He kissed me again, fiercer this time, and lightly thrust into my hand. He felt hot and hard, and I couldn’t wait to feel him in me. “Are you sure?” he asked, but there was hardly any vehemence behind the words.
“Yes. I want you. Please.”
Romero nodded. Excitement and nerves burst in my body. I’d half expected him to fight me again, but I was glad he hadn’t tried to talk me out of it. Today I’d finally become his.
Romero
I was supposed to be the voice of reason, the one to protect Lily from herself and from me, but I wasn’t as strong as everyone thought I was. Luca believed in me, trusted in my dutifulness and restraint. He didn’t know me well enough. Trust and longing filled Lily’s beautiful blue eyes as she peered up at me. She wanted me, and damn it, I wanted her more than anything. Every fucking time I’d fucked her with my finger, I’d imagined how it would be to have my cock in her, to feel her hot walls around me. I couldn’t deny her, couldn’t deny myself this gift she was offering. Maybe if there had been a flicker of doubt on her face but there was none. I tasted her mouth once more. She was sweet and soft and irresistible. Her fingers around my cock tightened and she bucked her hips lightly—an invitation I understood only too well, and longed to accept. I pulled away from her lips. “Not yet.”
“But,” she started. I slipped my hand between her legs and entered her with my middle finger. She let out a low breath and opened a bit wider for me. I loved how fucking responsive she was. Always so wet for me. There had been plenty of moments in my life when I had felt powerful but giving Lily pleasure beat them all. She didn’t say anything else, only closed her eyes and relaxed, trusting me to make her feel good. I kissed her breast, then nibbled on her nipple as I slowly slipped my finger in and out. Her breathing quickened but I kept a steady rhythm. I moved lower and positioned myself between her thighs. I let myself enjoy the sight of my finger as it entered her perfect pink pussy. Everything about her was beautiful. I leaned forward, not able to resist a moment longer. I closed my mouth over her bundle of nerves and teased her with my lips and tongue while my finger kept thrusting into her, deeper and harder now. I could feel her hymen every time I pushed in. I pressed my tongue against her clit, and slipped another finger into her. I’d never tried it before and her walls clamped around me tightly. My cock was pretty thick so I would have to widen her as much as possible. Her breathing hitched in surprise and she tensed under me. I circled her lightly with my tongue the way she loved it, then took her between my lips and suckled. The tension left her body and a new wave of wetness followed, making it easier for my fingers to enter her. I found a slow rhythm as I listened to the sweet moans and sighs coming from her lips. I could have listened to her forever. I never got tired of giving her pleasure. There was no better feeling in the world than making Lily explode with pleasure, and the knowledge that I was the only one doing it to her. A darker emotion filled me. She wasn’t really mine, might never be. One day she might have to marry someone her father chose for her and then that man would see her like this. Unreasonable fury surged through me, but I pushed the feeling aside. This wasn’t the moment to think about those kinds of things. I didn’t want to lose control only because I let my thoughts stray to dangerous places. Lily needed me to be careful and gentle with her, and I wanted to enjoy every fucking second of this, especially because I didn’t know how many more chances we would get together.