“It’s okay,” Romero said in his deep voice.
I looked around. “You are in my room.” I sounded like a moron. But I was stunned. After all, he’d as good as thrown me out of his room two days ago and now he stood in my own. A bit of a twist I hadn’t expected. Not that I minded.
Romero’s lips twitched as if he wanted to smile but then he became serious again. Sometimes I thought he tried to keep in his smiles because he worried that if he allowed that kind of emotion, all of them would come up. “You had a nightmare. I decided to wake you.”
I nodded. He stood beside my bed, half bent over me. If I’d reached out I could have grabbed his neck and pulled him down. My fingers itched to do just that, but I hadn’t forgotten his rejection not too long ago. He needed to make the next step and I wasn’t sure if coming into my room to wake me from a nightmare counted as one. I wanted it to. I sat up and my blankets fell down to my hips. I wore only a flimsy camisole. Romero’s eyes followed the movement, and lingered on my chest.
“Thanks for waking me. I had a dream about my mother.” I wasn’t sure why I said it. My nightmare was the last thing I wanted to think about, much less talk to Romero about. His eyes returned to my face. Sometimes I thought I could drown in them. When he was around I felt so happy and light. Somehow I knew he was the one, the person I was meant to be with. I’d known it pretty much from the beginning. If there was something like fate, then this was it.
Romero brushed a strand of hair from my forehead and I leaned into the touch. Somehow he was closer now. “You miss her.”
I nodded. I did, but her last words haunted me more than her death. Her sadness over the things she’d missed, the longing in her—I didn’t think I could ever forget that. Romero and I locked gazes and just stared at each other. In the dim light spilling from the corridor I could see the conflict in Romero’s eyes. I wanted to lean forward but I stopped myself. I had to be strong, had to have some self-respect.
I was about to say something, anything, to stop the mounting tension but then Romero leaned down and kissed me. I hadn’t expected him to and gasped against his lips, but my surprise lasted only a couple of seconds before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back with everything I had. He put one knee down on my bed beside me and cradled my head. His kiss banished the last of my tiredness and the lingering sadness from my dream. I wasn’t sure how long we kissed, Romero kneeling on the bed and I half-sitting, but I came more alive with every second. Eventually I pulled back, my breathing harsh. There was an insistent pounding between my legs but I knew it would have been wrong to take things further tonight.
Romero stroked my cheek and was about to straighten but I caught his arm. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
I waited for protest but it didn’t come. My heart dropped when he walked toward the door. Would he leave without a word? Instead he closed the door silently before he returned to the bed. With every step that he took in my direction, my heart seemed to swell with emotion. Romero removed his gun holster and put it down on the nightstand, then slipped out of his shoes. I scooted to the other side of my bed to make room for him, excitement fluttering in my chest. He didn’t slip under the covers with me as I’d hoped, instead he stretched out on top of it. I peered over my shoulder at him. He looked tired, even more tired than I felt. He smiled. It looked almost resigned, with a hint of regret. He snuck his arm around my waist and hugged me to his body, my back pressed against his chest, with the blankets between us. I wanted that barrier gone but decided to let him have his way for tonight. I’d won a small battle, the war could wait. Despite the material bunched between us I was fairly sure I could feel how much our kiss had affected Romero. Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes. “Thanks for staying with me.”
Romero kissed the back of my head. “Get some sleep. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”
“I know you will,” I whispered.
* * *
When my alarm woke me the next morning, I was alone in bed. I sat up and pressed the button that let the curtains glide open. Blinding light greeted me and I quickly squeezed my eyes shut. When I’d finally grown used to the brightness I looked around in my room for a sign of Romero’s sleepover but there was nothing. It might as well have been a dream. For a heart-stopping moment I considered just that but when I pressed my nose into the pillow, I caught his scent. Not a dream. I slipped out of bed. Of course he didn’t stay until the morning. Romero was cautious, one of us had to be. If one of my sisters walked in without knocking, which had happened before, then we could have been in huge trouble. Still it felt like a small rejection that he had left me alone without a word.
Get a grip, Lily.
We had to be careful or I’d be sent home and then we wouldn’t get to spend any time at all together. This was a good beginning.
A beginning for what? I wasn’t so naïve to believe that my father would accept Romero as a potential candidate for marriage. I wasn’t even sure if Romero considered me as someone he’d want to marry. But I was getting ahead of myself. I wanted to take risks, enjoy life and be happy. This night with Romero was a step in the right direction.
I rushed through my shower but took extra care with my makeup and hair. Then I headed downstairs. I could hear my sisters already laughing in the kitchen and followed the sound. They stood at the kitchen counter, coffee cups in their hands. Nobody else was there but the big wooden table was set for six people, so the men would hopefully join us later. Trying to hide my disappointment that Romero wasn’t there yet, I walked toward them. Aria poured me a cup of coffee and handed it to me with a worried look. “Didn’t you sleep again last night?”
I paused with the cup against my lips, my pulse quickening. Had they seen Romero walking into my room? Or maybe even leaving it in the morning? “Why?” I asked hesitantly.
Gianna snorted. “Because you look fucking tired. There are dark shadows under your eyes.”
I thought I’d put enough concealer on it. Damn it. “I’m fine. I dreamed of Mother, but it wasn’t bad.”
Aria wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Is it still about what she said to you?”
“Yeah,” I said evasively. “I can’t get her words out of my head.”
“Don’t take everything she said too much to heart. She was sick. It’s not your job to undo her mistakes. She was unhappy at the end but it was her own fault,” Gianna said.
“Gianna,” Aria said in warning.
“It’s not like Mother tried to guilt me into anything. She only wanted me to be happy.”
“And you’re going to be happy. We’ll make sure of it,” Aria said, squeezing my shoulder lightly before stepping back. “Let’s start to eat. Who knows when the men will show up. They had something to discuss.”
“Oh?” I asked nervously as we went over to the table and sat down. “Business?” If I was already a nervous wreck when Romero and I hadn’t even really done anything yet, how much worse would it be once there really was something going on?
Aria gave me an odd look. “I suppose. It’s all they ever talk about.”
“You’re acting kind of odd,” Gianna said as she grabbed a Danish from the bread basket. She scanned my face. “Did anything happen?”
“No,” I said too quickly. I grabbed a bowl and some cereal and milk. Gianna’s eyes seemed to bore holes into my skull and I could tell that she was going to push it, but male voices began to drift over to us from the entrance hall. I almost sighed in relief when they entered the dining area because Gianna’s attention moved on to Matteo who gave her a grin. I froze as my eyes settled on Romero. His brown hair was in slight disarray and the white dress shirt hugged his chest in the most distracting way but his gaze barely brushed over me as he, Luca, and Matteo headed for the table. Despite knowing that we had to act normal and not draw any suspicions toward us, his blatant refusal to look my way sent a stab of worry through me. Things didn’t improve when first Luca leaned down to kiss Aria and then Matteo did the same with Gianna before they settled on chairs across from them. Romero gave me a small nod and tight smile as he sank down on his chair. I grabbed my spoon and started eating my cereal. I could feel my sisters’ eyes on me. They knew me too well but I wouldn’t give them a chance to suspect anything. I didn’t want them to have to keep a secret from their husbands, especially not that kind of secret. The rest of breakfast I made sure to keep my eyes away from Romero regardless of him sitting opposite me, and instead talked to my sisters. Romero didn’t seem to have much trouble ignoring me, that was for sure. He and the other men were deep into an argument about the best way to handle a drug dealer who attracted too much attention from the police.
After breakfast, Aria and Gianna decided to head to the pool again. The weather was nice, barely a breeze and only a few white clouds adorning the blue sky. I went to my bedroom to change into a bikini, a cute pink thing with white dots with a halter top that accentuated my breasts. When I stepped out of my room, I bumped into a hard chest. Strong hands on my arms steadied but released me the moment I stopped swaying. I pressed a hand over my heart, not having expected someone to be in front of my door. “God, you startled me,” I said with a small laugh but it died when I raised my head to Romero’s face.
He didn’t say anything and his jaw was locked tight as his eyes roamed my body. His lack of reaction made me feel self-conscious. I had never been around Romero half naked like this, or any man really. Romero had seen many women naked and I wondered if he compared me to them.
I took a step back, my cheeks heating under his steadfast attention, and I self-consciously crossed my arms in front of my body.
He checked the corridor before he moved closer, and said in a low voice, “You look breathtaking.”
Dropping my arms, I couldn’t hold back a jibe. “You didn’t seem to notice at breakfast.” Despite my attempt to sound flippant, my voice revealed my hurt, and it annoyed me.
Romero met my gaze, expression softening. “I did notice, believe me. It’s impossible not to, Lily,” he said quietly. We were alone in the corridor and standing close enough that I could smell his aftershave. “I didn’t want to ignore you, but we don’t have a choice. This has to stay a secret.”
“This?” I asked. “What exactly is this?” We had hardly done anything yet. We’d kissed three times but that was it.
His shoulders tensed as if he didn’t want to put a label on us. “I don’t know. Maybe nothing. But I want you, Lily. I can’t get you out of my head. No matter what I do there’s always you.”
I exhaled. It felt as if a huge rock had dropped off my shoulders. So it wasn’t just me. “You want me?” I echoed, tilting my head up to peer at him through my lashes.
Romero’s eyes travelled the length of my body again and it made me tingle all over. How would it feel if he touched every spot his eyes had wandered? He let out a small, dark laugh. “Oh yes.”
“I want you too. So what are we going to do now?” I took a step closer until there was barely room between us and I dipped my head back to stare up into his face. He didn’t touch me, even though I wanted him to but his eyes lingered on my breasts, and now that he wasn’t masking his emotions I saw the hunger in his expression. “What I want to do is take you into your bedroom and rip off your bikini, then taste every inch of your skin. I know you’ll taste absolutely perfect.”
I hadn’t expected him to be so direct and my face exploded with heat. “Why don’t you find out?” My attempt at a seductive whisper came out breathless, almost shy.
Romero touched his fingertips to my heated cheeks. “So innocent.” He shook his head and I could tell he was about to pull back physically and emotionally. I leaned against him, my breasts flush against his strong chest. “I don’t want to stay innocent, Romero.”
“Damn,” Romero muttered. He cupped the back of my head and tilted it to the side, then he bent down and pressed an open-mouthed kiss over my pulse point before he traced my jugular with his tongue. I let out an embarrassing moan as my core tightened with arousal. I tipped my head further to the side, giving him better access, but he had moved on from my throat and kissed my lips. I pressed myself against him even harder. His shirt felt cool against my naked skin. A noise from somewhere in the house made us jump apart. There was no one in the corridor but it was a good reminder that we needed to be careful. After another glance down the corridor, Romero cupped my cheek again. “You do taste as perfect as I thought.”
I smiled. “You haven’t even tasted all of me.” My cheeks flamed when I realized what I’d said and how Romero would understand it.
Romero’s eyes darkened with what I suspected was desire. “I intend to, trust me.”
I shivered. “You do?”
“God yes.” He sighed, then took a step back. “But we need to be careful. This is a dangerous path we’re on.”
“I know but I don’t care. I want this.”
Romero kissed me again. He shook his head. “I don’t know how you did it but I can’t get you out of my fucking mind. And now this.” He gestured at my bikini. “You’re lucky you can’t read my mind, you’d be shocked.”
“Not as shocked as you, if you could read my mind,” I said with what I hoped was a seductive smile. I turned around and walked away, making sure I swung my hips.
Romero
As I watched Lily prance away, I almost groaned. Her tiny bikini barely covered her perfect butt cheeks and her long legs drove me just as wild. I wanted to read her mind, wanted to find out what she desired and give it to her.
Her earlier comment about tasting her had filled my head with images of my mouth on her pussy. I couldn’t wait to find out if it was as pink and perfect as I imagined it. I wanted to lick her until she begged for mercy.
My pants became uncomfortable and I had to shift to give my cock a bit more room. How would I be able to restrain myself if I kept thinking about tasting her? It had already been difficult enough to lie in her bed at night without those images in my head, torturing me. I knew Lily would visit me again at night. Now that she knew how much I wanted her, she would use her chance.
But I also knew that I needed to establish certain boundaries. Flirting and kissing was still tolerable, though I was fairly sure that Luca and Aria, and most definitely Scuderi, would disagree. Taking things further was something I couldn’t risk. I’d given Luca a promise and I should at least try to keep it.
CHAPTER NINE
Liliana
That night I crept into Romero’s bedroom again. The lights were out but he was sitting with his back against his headboard. He didn’t say anything as I approached the bed and suddenly I was nervous.
“Hey,” I whispered, then yawned because it had been a long day and as usual sleep evaded me. “Can I come into your bed?”
Romero lifted his blankets. I quickly slipped under them but didn’t snuggle against him, suddenly shy. Romero peered down at me, then he reached out and brushed a few strands from my forehead. I braced myself on my elbows to kiss him, but he shook his head. I froze.
“I don’t think we should be kissing when we’re in bed together.”
“You don’t want to kiss me anymore?” Was I that horrible?
“No, I still want to kiss you and I’m going to kiss you but not when we’re in bed. There are certain boundaries we shouldn’t cross, Lily.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. Maybe he was right. Kissing in bed was only a small step away from doing much more, and some things simply couldn’t be undone. “But can we snuggle?”
Romero chuckled. “I should probably say no,” he murmured. “But I’m screwed anyway.”
He lay down and opened his arms. I inched toward him and put my head down on his upper arm. I wasn’t sure why I felt so comfortable in his presence. I wasn’t someone who liked physical contact with people I didn’t know, but with Romero I’d always wanted closeness.
I closed my eyes but I didn’t fall asleep immediately. “Have you ever regretted working for Luca? As the son of a soldier, you would have had the option not to become part of the Famiglia. You could have lived a normal life.”
“No. This was all I ever wanted,” Romero said. His fingers ran up and down my forearm in a very distracting way but I wasn’t sure if he even realized what he was doing. “I’ve known Luca and Matteo long before I was inducted. I always looked up to Luca because he was older and strong as a bear, and Matteo and I always got in trouble together.”
“I bet Matteo got in trouble and you had to save his ass.”
Romero let out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s more like it. When Luca became a Made Man and when I heard the story of how he killed his first man at eleven, I wanted nothing more than to be like him.”
“You were only eight then. Shouldn’t you have been playing with matchbox cars instead?”
“I always knew I wanted to become a member of the Famiglia. I wanted to be their best fighter. I often practiced with Matteo and in the beginning even with Luca. They wiped the ground with me. But I was a quick learner, and when I was inducted a few years later, only a handful could see eye to eye with me in a knife fight, and I got only better with time. I worked hard.”
I could tell he was proud of what he’d achieved. “What did your family want? Did they try to keep you away from the mob?”
“My father didn’t want his life for me. As a debt collector he had to do many horrible things. But he and my mother trusted me to decide for myself.”
How would it be to have people trust you to make your own decisions?
“This life, does it make you happy?” I asked softly. Sometimes I wished there was an easy definition for what made me happy.
“At times, but nobody can always be happy.” He was silent for a moment. “What makes you happy?”
“I don’t know. This, but I know it’s fleeting.”
Romero’s chest rose and fell under my cheek until I was sure he’d fallen asleep but then he spoke again. “Happiness often is. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it while it lasts.”
* * *