Dante’s gaze flickered to me and he paused with his hands on his fly. “I’m capable of getting an erection. I’m not impotent.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but it was almost drowned out by the raspy desire in it.
“That’s not what I meant. But I thought you weren’t attracted by my body.”
Dante gave me a strange look. “Don’t worry. Your body would leave few members of the male species unaffected.”
Still so in control, so poised, and yet…I glanced at his crotch. Dante unzipped his fly and pushed down his pants. His black boxers did little to hide the impressive bulge. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held back and watched instead as my nerves slowly started to rise. I’d waited so long for this. Finally, he pulled down his boxers. His cock was fully erect, thick and long, and a strange sense of satisfaction filled me. After years of being ignored first by Antonio and then by Dante, I finally got a reaction from the latter at least.
“Scoot up,” Dante said in his Boss voice, a voice that brooked no argument, not that I would have dreamed of protesting. I crawled back immediately and slid my arms out of my bathrobe, then I lay completely naked in front of Dante. He made no move to remove his shirt and vest. He climbed on the bed and moved between my legs, pushing them apart, spreading me open for him. I wondered why he didn’t undress fully. Was it some sort of barrier he wanted to keep between us? Or was I overthinking? He looked more than a little sexy in his vest, but still…
Any thought fled my mind when Dante guided his erection toward my center and nudged my opening. He felt hard and big, but I’d been waiting long enough for this. I was ready. Dante propped himself up on his arms, then shifted his hips and slid in a few inches until I tensed and cried out. I squeezed my eyes shut, and drew in a few harsh breaths through my nose to calm my racing pulse. The pain was already fading, but he wasn’t all the way in yet. After another deep breath, I opened my eyes and found Dante staring down at me. His jaw was tight. For once he didn’t seem quite so calm and in control, and I could tell how much he was struggling to keep still. I raised my arms and grabbed his shoulders, then I gave a small nod. Dante rocked his hips and pushed all the way in. I arched up, clamping my mouth shut to keep any sound in. I breathed out through my nose, as I forced my body to relax.
Dante peered down at me, his brows drawn together and a muscle in his cheek twitching. “Tell me when I can move,” he gritted out, surprising me with that show of compassion.
I wiggled, impatient, desperate to have Dante move in me. There was still a slight discomfort but that too was getting better. “It’s okay.”
He nodded, then pulled almost all the way out before sliding back in. My muscles gripped his cock tightly, still trying to get used to the invasion, but I could feel a hint of pleasure behind the soreness as Dante fell into a slow rhythm. I wished he would come down on his forearms so we could be closer, but he braced himself on his palms. I guessed I shouldn’t have expected anything else. He’d warned me, but at least he was careful and hadn’t pounced on me.
I let out a small moan as he hit a delicious spot deep inside me. Dante sped up, his thrusts becoming more forceful. His face was filled with concentration. He didn’t make loud noises, but his pants came quicker. I loved watching him, loved seeing the small twitches and flickers in his cold mask when his pleasure spiked.
“It’s been a while for me,” he warned in a rough voice. “I don’t know how long I can last.” I was surprised by his admission. I didn’t think he was a man who readily admitted to anything resembling weakness in his mind. I was glad for that small flicker of humanness.
“It’s okay.” It wasn’t as if I was going to come again. I could tell that I was close to the limit of what I could take.
His movements became even faster and less restrained, almost jerky and unhinged. And then he finally lowered himself to his forearms, bringing us closer than we’d ever been, our bodies pressed against each other as if we were one, and he really started to pound into me, hard and fast, and my soreness turned into an insistent twinge, but I didn’t even care. I could feel his heat through his clothes. His vest rubbed my sensitive nipples, and I wished I could have felt his skin, but even that wasn’t important right now. All that mattered was that Dante was finally making me a woman, finally allowing us to become close. Maybe this was a new beginning, the real start of our marriage. I clung to his back and buried my face in the crook of his neck as Dante thrust into me a few more times.
He groaned, his body tensing, and then I felt his erection expand in me, followed by the strange sensation of him coming inside me. I pulled back, wanting to see his face. For once the mask was gone. He looked disheveled, approachable, less unforgiving somehow. He shuddered once more before he lowered his face and brushed his lips against mine, his tongue sliding over my lips lightly. I eagerly opened my mouth for him. Our tongues met and I was in heaven. I’d waited for our first real kiss for so long, and now it was happening. He tasted perfect, and I loved the feeling of his weight on top of me, and the sensation of his softening cock inside me. Maybe everything would change now. I slipped my hands under his shirt and ran them up and down his back, my fingers finding every scar, mapping his body. He felt so warm and strong. He felt like he was mine.
Dante stopped kissing me, and our eyes met, and suddenly his walls went back up. I could see it happening. Like the curtains closing at the end of a play. He raised himself up to his palms. “Are you okay?” he asked, already pulling out of me in a swift motion. I gasped at the brief pain and Dante hovered over me for a moment, a hint of hesitation in his expression, but it was gone quickly and he straightened, holding up his shirt so it didn’t get dirty. “I need to get cleaned up,” he said matter-of-factly, as if he were telling me the weather forecast, as if we hadn’t just slept together. He watched me an instant longer, then he disappeared in the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, the water started running.
I didn’t move from my spot in the middle of the bed, desperately trying to sort out my emotions. There was relief over finally having gotten rid of my virginity, but there was also a strange sense of sadness. I wasn’t someone who needed to be coddled, but I wished Dante would have stayed with me a bit longer after he was done.
Disappointment washed over me and I closed my eyes against the rising emotion. I wasn’t sure how long I lay like that, but I was startled by Dante’s cool voice above me. “Here.”
My eyes fluttered open. He stood beside the bed, already dressed in his briefs again, and was holding a washcloth out for me.
I took it from him and pressed it against my sore flesh, ignoring the blush that crept up into my face. Wouldn’t he lie down with me for a little while at least? I really wanted him to hold me, even if he had to pretend to care for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him.
“Would you like me to touch you, so you can come too?”
I stared at him. He sounded so matter-of-fact. I shook my head. I wanted his closeness, but not like this, not now. He nodded and grabbed his pants from the ground, then put them on. “I have some more work to do and I need to visit another of our casinos. I’ll be home late. You don’t need to wait up for me.”
I nodded, couldn’t have said a word if I’d tried.
After another lingering glance at my naked body, Dante walked out of the room. I listened to his retreating steps. When I couldn’t hear him anymore, I sat up, and winced at the twinge between my legs. I stared down at the washcloth in my hand, which had a few pink spots on it, and a silly sense of accomplishment filled me. It banished the disappointment over Dante’s coldness. For now, I wanted to be happy. I’d finally gotten what I wanted. Now that Dante had given in once, I was sure he would have a much harder time holding himself back. And I was determined to make it as hard as possible for him. I’d gotten my first real taste of pleasure; from now on I wanted to experience it over and over again.
CHAPTER TEN
Ididn’t even notice Dante slip into bed that night, but his side was rumpled, so he must have slept in it. I spent a few more minutes in bed, feeling somehow lighter now that I’d ripped down one barrier between Dante and me, but I wasn’t kidding myself into believing that sex would change our relationship fundamentally. I didn’t think Dante would suddenly act like the loving and caring husband I’d wanted when I was younger. It was strange. While Antonio had never been able to give me what I physically needed, he’d been my friend and confidante. We’d spent time together when he wasn’t busy, and I’d never felt overly lonely in our marriage. I had a feeling the same wouldn’t be true in my second marriage. Even if Dante now satisfied my sexual needs, it would take some time before we’d become partners.
After I’d showered and dressed in my favorite plum pencil skirt and a white blouse, I headed into one of the guest rooms that now harbored a few of my moving boxes that I hadn’t unpacked yet. It took me a few minutes of rummaging before I found what I was looking for, a wooden case where I kept a few things from Antonio. Inside were our wedding bands, which I’d never much cared about. The most important thing in the case was a thin photo album that held mostly pictures of the time before Antonio and I had married. Back then we’d only been friends, without the added weight of having to pretend to be more. Antonio looked nothing like Dante. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and wasn’t very tall. He’d always wanted me to wear flats so I wouldn’t be taller than him. But appearances weren’t the biggest difference between my first and my second husband; that was their aura. Where Antonio had been open and friendly, someone people perceived as a likeable albeit ordinary buddy type, Dante oozed cold power. Nobody would mistake him for a follower. If Dante hadn’t been born into our world, he’d probably be a governor or senator. He would have done well in that arena. But as with all of us, our birth determined our fate. We were all bound to the mob.
I glanced down at a photo of Antonio and me on a horse. It had been the first time for me. We both looked young and happy, hopeful. Antonio hadn’t been inducted into the mafia back then, had still thought he could find a way out of his duty.
I put the wooden case back down before I could dive deeper into sad memories. I straightened, took a deep breath and left the guest bedroom. There was no going back, but it wasn’t always easy to move forward, especially if you didn’t know which way to go. But I needed something that gave my life meaning and structure, something I could put my energy into, as long as Dante shut me out of his life.
I missed having a purpose, a daily task. I wasn’t someone who could sit at home all day, or spent hours going over the newest piece of juicy gossip. I wanted a job, but even during my time with Antonio, people had found it strange that he’d allowed his wife to work. I worried that it would be a scandal Dante wasn’t willing to risk.
My steps slowed as I headed toward the door he hid behind almost all the time. I wasn’t only nervous because I wanted to ask Dante for a job. What if things would be awkward and strained between us now that we’d slept together? Though I really wasn’t sure how our relationship could take a further nosedive. We were already barely being civil to each other. Apart from throwing dishes at each other’s heads and bickering constantly, there really was no way our interactions could change for the worse. And to be honest, I wondered if I might prefer heated fights to the cold ignorance I was getting now.
Gathering my courage, I knocked at his door.
“Come in,” Dante called after a moment.
I entered his office. My eyes immediately darted to the spot on the desk where the photo of his first wife had been, but he’d removed it. I didn’t think he’d thrown it out. It was probably hidden away in one of the drawers in his desk, and I didn’t expect him to forget her, to throw away every piece that reminded him of her, to banish her memory from his heart; I only wished he’d leave a little room in his heart for me.
Dante looked up from a pile of papers. “What do you need?” He didn’t say it in an unfriendly way, but it was obvious that he was busy. His demeanor toward me hadn’t changed at all, despite what we’d done yesterday. As my eyes took in his dark gray vest, my body remembered the way a similar vest had rubbed against my nipples yesterday, and I almost crossed the room and threw myself at Dante again. But I didn’t want to appear too needy. Our next sexual encounter would have to be initiated by Dante. Of course, maybe he’d go back to not touching me again.
I pushed that worrisome thought aside as I closed the door after me and walked closer to the desk. “I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Dante scanned my face. “Go on.”
“I want to work. When I was married to Antonio I helped him run his family restaurants too.” They’d only been a way to launder money, but I’d enjoyed the task. I’d greeted guests and organized arrangements when someone booked a wedding in our restaurants. After his death, his younger brother had taken over. A woman alone couldn’t possibly handle the task. That’s what our men thought anyway.
Dante leaned back in his desk chair with a frown. “Work? What did you have in mind?”
I was glad he was open to the idea and didn’t shoot it down immediately. Emboldened by this, I walked around the desk and settled on its edge. Dante’s eyes flitted to my legs, but too quickly they returned to my face. “I’m good at organizing and event planning. I’m also very good with people.” I was also good at leading people, but I kept that to myself. Made Men didn’t like women who enjoyed being in charge. Somehow most of them couldn’t get it in their heads that a strong woman at their side didn’t make them less of a man.
Dante nodded. “I need someone for one of our casinos.”