“You should go, Kim.” Teal motions at Elsa’s juice and when she nods, she takes a sip. “Thirteen can use moral support.”
“Pretty sure Ro can use a different type of support.” Elsa grins.
Teal’s face remains neutral.
I laugh. “That he can. He’s been talking about that threesome again.”
“He mentioned it the other day, too.” Elsa shakes her head. “If he keeps doing that, he’ll get killed by Aiden before the end of the year.”
“I told him that. I swear he has no fear for his life.”
“He doesn’t?” Teal’s question stops us both in our tracks. “Have no fear for his life, I mean.”
Elsa hums, “Actually, I think he doesn’t. He said his father has his entire life planned for him, including his marriage and all, and he hates it.”
I nod. “I think he’s treating this as a last hurrah before he’s shoved to succeed his dad’s name and legacy.”
Teal’s lips twitch and I swear she’s about to smile, but she goes back to her signature poker face.
We drop the subject and Teal returns inside, peeking first so Knox doesn’t startle her again.
Then Elsa and I finish studying, and after I tell the girls goodbye, I pick up Kir.
Once we get home, we blast music and dance to it together, goofing around. He’s the only human I can dance this freely in front of. I’ve been teaching him moves and he’s been telling me I’m getting old.
The dork.
Mum comes out of her studio once to pick up supplies that are delivered. We lower the music and keep tickling each other and blocking our laughs so she doesn’t hear.
However, not once does she acknowledge our presence as she directs the deliverymen to carry the canvases to her studio.
Kirian’s pout appears as he watches her with puppy eyes, fidgeting, waiting for a smidge of her attention. It looks so much like me when I was a child.
You mean, even now.
I continue tickling him to divert his focus from her. As soon as the deliverymen leave and she closes her studio – that’s soundproof – we go back to dancing until we collapse.
It’s his bedtime anyway, so I usher him to his room.
“Can Xan come over?” Kir asks me once he’s put on his pyjamas and I’m tucking him in his bed.
“No,” I snap, then smile to camouflage it.
“But why not? It would be fun to dance with him.”
“I don’t like dancing in front of others. Only you, my little monkey.”
“And Dad!”
“And Dad.”
He FaceTimed us earlier and we spoke to him for thirty minutes. Kir didn’t shut up about school and his friends and how he’s the most popular one.
He is. Girls are starting to give him letters.
At least one of us isn’t a complete loser.
I told Dad I miss him and resisted the urge to ask him when he’s coming home this time. It’ll only make him feel guilty and I don’t want to ever do that to him.
“Are all the tickets really gone?” He narrows his eyes.
Okay, so I might have lied about Elites’ game tickets. It’s the only way to keep him from bugging me, sort of.
He’s a Xander fan through and through.
“Yeah, promise.”
“I’ll ask him for tickets next time.”
Of course he will. This is just a temporary solution. Kir is smarter than I give him credit for.
“Don’t bother him.”
“He said I don’t.”
I pause. “He did?”
He nods frantically. “He always asks his cook to make me brownies and lets Ahmed play with me. Xan says I can call him when you can’t pick me up.”
“Don’t tell me you did.”
He looks away.
“Kir!”
“Don’t worry, Kimmy.” Kir grins. “Xan will lie and say you dance better than me.”
I make my hands into claws. “Well, is he going to lie and say you’re not ticklish?”
“No, stop it.”
“Here comes the gorilla for the monkey.”
“Nooo!” he shrieks as I attack him, tickling his side until he gasps with giggles and laughter.
It’s only after he raises the white flag that I finally leave him alone and kiss him three times – two on his adorable cheeks and one on his forehead. “Sweet dreams, little monkey.”
“Night, Kimmy.”
I push his hair back and kiss him one more time before leaving his room.
After changing into a denim skirt and a camisole, I go outside just in time to find Ronan pulling in.
We agreed to meet once the game was over, but I never thought he’d be here straight after.
He swings the door of his Mazda open and barges outside. He still has bruises around his mouth from the fight with Xander.
It must hurt.
Just like all the bruises Xander came to school with must hurt.
No, I don’t care about him.
Ronan gathers me in a hug, scooping me off the ground. “We won!”
I squeal as he spins me around before finally putting me to my feet.
“So happy for you.”
“Liar.” He glares at me. “You could’ve been happy by actually being there.”
“I had to spend time with Kir.”
“Or you could’ve brought him with you.” He leans in to whisper, “Which means, you’ve been running away.”
“Fine. Can we go?” I really don’t want to run into Xan if he comes home now.
Although the football team usually celebrates the win at the Meet Up after every game, I’m not taking any chances.
“Sure.” He ushers me into the car, even opening the door for me.
He’s such a gentleman – protective, caring. Why can’t I fall asleep thinking about him? Why can’t I obsess over him? Have my chest squeeze for him?
If I’d had a choice in my heart’s admission process, it would’ve been Ronan.
Or that’s what I tell myself.
The car revs into life, leaving the neighbourhood, and I blow out a long breath.
“He didn’t play,” Ronan says with a smile that’s different from his easy-going ones.
Xander didn’t play? But why? He’s always a startup, except that time the coach punished him and Aiden because of a fight.
But I won’t allow myself to get sucked into that orbit. I stare out of the window at the upper-middle-class villas passing us by. “I don’t care.”
“Coach knows about the fighting and drinking and benched him,” Ronan continues, deaf to what I said.
I face him, unable to help myself. “Fighting and drinking?”
“He has an issue.” Ronan taps his fingers on the steering wheel as if he’s enjoying music that doesn’t exist.
He doesn’t go on, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s playing with me.
“So? What type of issue?”
His grin nearly splits his face open. “Told you, fighting and drinking. He used to control it before, but lately, he’s been appearing hungover and barely holding on. His face has some cuts, and there are bruises on his body. He doesn’t pay attention to practice or studies or even himself. Today, he came drunk and the captain had had enough.”
“If his dad knows, he’ll be in trouble,” I murmur to myself, then realise I said it aloud.
“Pretty sure Coach called him by now,” Ronan hums. “I think there’s talk about sending him to a closed rehab and he’ll only come back for his diploma. It’s no secret Lewis will lose his shit on him. After all, this is an election year.”
Something in my chest squeezes, tightening harder the more I ignore it.
“He brought it on himself,” I say, then change the subject to the game.
Ronan launches in on his heroic accomplishments and the decisive pass he gave to Aiden so that he scored their only goal.
As we go into the restaurant, I laugh and smile at his goofy behaviour. We even commemorate the dinner with a selfie in Ronan’s over the top style. He wraps an arm around me and tucks me to his side, kissing my cheek.
Although I’m laughing on the outside, there’s something cutting me open and slicing me to tiny pieces on the inside.
I order a salad, even though Ronan says they have diet-friendly food, but I don’t eat any of it.
My body is right here in this high-end restaurant that I shouldn’t have worn a denim skirt for. The setting has an elegant brown and white combination that gives a certain type of serenity.
Not to me.
Although I’m present, smiling at what Ronan is saying, my mind is elsewhere. I’m thinking about the theories of what Lewis could do to Xander. Ronan said it. This is an election year for him and Silver’s father. They completely disallow any type of mishaps in normal days, let alone when the campaign is so close to starting. I wonder if Silver’s disappearance for the past two days has something to do with that.
Point is, Lewis has always been as strict with Xander as Mum has been with me. That day Aunt Samantha left, and Xander went home crying for her, Lewis fixed him with a glare and told him to not cry for her.
Since then, I’ve never seen tears in Xander’s eyes.
“Earth to Kimmy.” Ronan leans over so he’s close.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“That you should take a chance.”
“Take a chance?”
“Yup.”
I swallow my non-existent saliva. “On you?”