Soon after the call ends, my screen lights with a text from him.
It’s a long one. Dad is as eloquent as anyone can get, even with his texts.
Dad:Hey, Angel. If you’re studying, I don’t want to bother you, but I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. I’m sorry my calls were sparse yesterday and today. I’ve been working on an important project that will bore you to death if I talk about it. Anyway, I received a call from school, and I’m upset about what happened from the other girl. I’m sure you had your reasons, and you’ll tell me about them one day. It pains me to think you’ve been hurt in any way. Kiss Kirian for me. Daddy loves you both and can’t wait to come back and see you. We’ll go on that family holiday Kir has been asking for. Stay safe, Angel.
A drop of moisture falls on my phone screen as I finish reading the text. I wipe the tear away so the others don’t follow.
Damn it, Dad. Why did you have to put it that way?
Every time he calls me his angel, I’m almost tempted to believe it, to think that I’m someone’s angel, that someone actually feels pain when I’m hurt.
Kimberly:I love you, too, Dad, and I miss you so much.
I erase the text before hitting send. If I do, he’ll just call me, and I don’t have the physical or mental energy to deal with those emotions right now.
So I check the other texts instead.
Ronan:Kimmy!
Ronan: Kim-my.
Ronan:Pay attention to me, la merde.
Ronan:I’m hurt, I’m going to cry in a corner.
I smile. He stayed by my side until Mum came earlier. I have a feeling it was his testimony against Veronica that saved me from suspension. I’m sure the others didn’t testify in my favour.
Kim: You don’t cry.
The reply is immediate.
Ronan:I do now. So, party at my place?
Usually, I would be all over that because the letting go, the drinking and dancing, takes my mind away from the fog.
Today isn’t the day, though.
Kim:I have to study.
More like crawl further into my blanket and stay up all night, trying to fight these cancerous thoughts away.
Ronan: Come on, don’t be a bore.
When I don’t reply, he sends another text.
Ronan: Xander is here and he’s so drunk, he can’t stand.
I type before thinking.
Kim: Why would I care about that?
Ronan:Dunno. Thought you’d be interested in seeing me whipping his arse in a drinking competition?
No. I wouldn’t be interested. That bastard is the reason behind this in the first place.
If he hadn’t come in class with Veronica, blatantly parading his night with her in front of me, I wouldn’t be in this damn predicament now.
Screw him.
I check the other texts from my best friend.
Elsa:Want me to come over?
Elsa: I’m worried about you, Kim.
Elsa:We can go to Ronan’s party if you want?
If my parties’ terrorist friend is offering to go to a party for my sake, then she really is worried.
If I don’t reply, she’ll burst through the front door, and I can’t have Elsa see me this way.
Kim:You going to a party? Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?
Elsa:I go to parties.
Kim: Are you sure?
Elsa: Sometimes.
Elsa:So are you coming or should I come over?
Neither?
Still, I type.
Kim:Let’s meet at the party!
At least that will give me time to stay with my head a bit more, bargain a little, tell it to leave me be for a while.
The whole thing.
I’m about to throw my phone away when it vibrates with another text. I expect it to be from Elsa or Ronan, but it’s not.
Unknown Number:What are you doing?
Kimberly:Who are you?
Unknown Number: You better be not doing that nasty business or I swear I’m coming through your fucking window.
I pause, my heartbeat escalating. My fingers tremble as I type.
Kimberly: Xander?
Unknown Number: The one and only.
Oh, God. Oh, shit. Why is he texting me?
Kimberly:Since when do you have my number?
Elsa would never give it to him.
Xander:You think Ronan can have your number and I can’t?
He stole it. I know it without a sliver of doubt. Even as kids, whenever Xander couldn’t get what he wanted, he pretended not to care about it anymore, then he snuck behind everyone’s backs and took it anyway. Just to prove he could.
Before I can give him a piece of my mind, another text comes from him.
Xander:What did Jeanine tell you?
I bite my lower lip so hard, I’m surprised no blood comes out. I really regret opening up to him about my relationship with Mum all those years ago. Not only does he know all my dirty secrets, but he’s the only one in the know about how my mum makes me feel so small and insignificant.
I wish I could tell him things have changed since a long time ago, but that’s not the case.
That doesn’t mean I can’t lie about it.
Kimberly: Nothing.
Xander:You expect me to believe that tyrant actually let it go as if it never happened? Try again.
Why is he being weird all of a sudden? My head has been working overtime since Elsa’s bathroom. It’s like being on a constant high and refusing to come down.
Kimberly:You have no right to talk about her like that. She’s my mum.
I hate myself as soon as I hit Send. Why do I have to be such a hypocrite? But then again, Xander doesn’t get to school me about my family as if he has every right to.
Xander:The one you wished you never had.
Damn him. Why does he remember everything I’ve told him? And if he does, why the hell can’t he remember those times I practically begged him to never leave me alone with her?
Then he went ahead and did it.
He stepped on my heart and crushed it to pieces, so why does he think he has the right to return and tell me what to do now?
Kimberly:Leave me the hell alone.
Xander:How about no?
Kimberly:Don’t you have your bimbos to keep you company?
Xander:Uh-oh. Someone is jealous.
Shit. Keep calm, Kim. Keep damn calm.
Didn’t Ronan say he’s drunk? This must be the alcohol, and all I have to do is ignore him.
Kimberly:In your dreams.
Xander:Good.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?