“Ohmigosh, Jesse, you’re right! I’m going to call them right after my private Zumba class. Hey, you should totally come.”
I pretended to punch her shoulder. “Eeep! You’re the sweetest, but I really need to get things prepared for the funeral and everything. Thanks, though.”
Even though Wren had the intelligence of expired mayo, Emery and Nolan were pretty bright. I didn’t want any of them to suspect I was pulling any tricks by declaring I’d be there. Wren pouted like an adorable puppy, her version of condolences.
“Prayers to you and your mom, Jesse.” She rubbed my arm. We shared an awkward half-hug.
“Thanks.”
Driving back to Gail’s, I knew a few things:
- Wren was going to throw a party.
- She’d invited me, because she was an idiot.
- I was going to be there, but not in the capacity they were planning on.
Surprise.
I loved the feeling of my clothes, heavy and soaked with the unexpected rain, as I made my way down from Gail’s roof. The tropic summer episode cleared my head, and I felt so alive I wanted to scream.
Gail had fire escape stairs leading straight down from the roof of her building to the entrance. I used it to get down and was about to buzz myself back into her apartment when I noticed Bane leaning against his Harley, his head bowed down. He was standing in the rain, soaked to the bone, a look of sheer surprise at what he was doing—at how far he’d gone for a woman—crossing his face.
I turned my back to him and punched the intercom to Gail’s apartment. She buzzed me in without answering, because she knew my crazy self was out in the rain, thinking things over. Bane jogged behind me, scolding me under his breath.
“Are you going to ignore me forever?”
“That’s the general plan.” I pushed the building door open, and he strolled along with me, a trail of raindrops following him. I wanted to ignore his existence completely and go upstairs, but in reality, couldn’t tear my eyes from his beautiful face. Raindrops adorned his wet golden hair, dripping down to his boots.
“Crazy weather.” He chuckled, but it sounded so sad, the words cracking like an egg. “When I was a kid, I thought God was flushing the toilet every time it rained. Made leaving SoCal virtually impossible. It rarely rains here.”
“Thanks for the anecdote, Roman, but we’re past chitchat, so you can keep the rest of your fun facts for your next client,” I said viciously, twisting to the stairs and taking them two at a time. He caught up with my pace, and we were shoulder-to-shoulder, heat pouring through our damp clothes.
“Darren’s dead,” he said, mainly to show me that he knew.
“And this is your business because…?”
“He took your virginity.”
I stopped mid-step, turning around to face him.
“He took your virginity, and you’re my business.” His eyes were lit and burning, and I knew there was nothing I could do to diffuse them.
“How do you know?”
“Gail thought you’d already told me.”
I swallowed. I couldn’t really fault Gail. Bane was after me, and she knew I wanted to hurt him. And that nothing would hurt him more than this piece of information.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?” I pushed his chest.
“Because, unfortunately, I’m deeply in love with your ass.”
“I bet you also love the fact that you don’t have to pay Darren now.”
“I do. Makes life easier, but I never gave a shit about the money, and I think we both know that.”
I poked my lower lip up, tugging at it. The way he stared at it, like he wanted to catch it between his teeth, suck the rain from it, and bite it until it bled, made heat spread in my lower belly.
“You mean, you didn’t care about the money so much, you signed a contract to make me your little toy project for six months?”
“That was before.”
“Yeah, welcome to the ‘after.’ Sucks to be here, right?”
It wasn’t until we made it to the second floor of the building, standing in front of Gail’s door, that he spoke again. He looked broken, and I hated to see him like that. It made no sense at all. So many people had ruined me—him included—and yet, seeing him suffer, seeing his emerald eyes turning droopy and miserable, made me want to stab my own chest with a fork. What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I let him go the way I had Pam and Darren?
“Emery, Nolan, and Henry are popping in for a vacation,” he said.
My fist hovered over Gail’s door, and I halted. I wanted to push Bane into the hallway and slam the door in his face, but his words made me stop. I swiveled slowly, my mouth curving in disgust.
“How do you know?”
“I have eyes and ears everywhere. Especially when it concerns you.”
“This McMafia stuff is not impressing me, Roman. Sorry to disappoint.”
Plus, I was the one that lured them into town, I thought about adding, but didn’t. I only trusted one person in this operation, and that person was me.
“I’m not trying to control you; I’m trying to fucking save you,” he growled, pushing me against the door with a soft thud. He boxed me in with his arms, his forehead dropping to mine. We were both wet and shivering, our breaths heavy and charged. Our hair stuck together, and I loved that we were yin and yang. Him, blond and whole and hidden by ink. Me, black-haired and broken and clean. He locked my chin between his fingers and tilted my head up. His eyes were hard and soft, honey-edged and flinty green. Cunning, like a snake’s. But the way they looked at me, like I mattered, disarmed me. He pressed his lips to mine, and we stayed like that, in half a kiss, half a breath, for a few seconds before I pulled away and cupped my mouth.
“Don’t touch Emery, Henry, and Nolan,” I said.
“Like fuck I won’t. I’m going to end the bastards,” he snarled. My phone beeped in my hoodie’s pocket. I pulled it out. It was Pam. She was on her tenth text message to me today. We were supposed to have a meeting with Darren’s lawyer about the will. I wanted to drag it out for as long as I could before finally informing her that she was back to being dirt-poor. God bless prenups.
I thought that it was poetic justice that she didn’t get to keep the thing she’d chosen over my happiness and mental health. Money.
I sent the call to voicemail and looked up at him.
“I have a plan,” I said.
“Fill me in.”
I shook my head. “It’s mine.”
He furrowed his brows. “Who the fuck are you, Jesse Carter?”
“I’m the girl I need to be to save myself.”
He clasped my arms in his hands, pinning me to the door. I wanted so badly to forgive him, to fall right into bed with him, to be in his arms. Safe. Sound. Protected. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Bane was capable of giving me all the things the new Jesse needed. I wouldn’t have to work hard for my justice. He would bring the prey to my doorstep, like a loyal, skilled hunter.
But I wanted messy. Bloody. I wanted wonky and imperfect. I wanted to drag them into justice my way, even if it lacked his force and finesse.
I rose on my tiptoes, darting my tongue and licking the outline of his Cupid’s bow lips. He stopped breathing, his eyes hard on mine, so engrossed in the moment he couldn’t even close them to enjoy what I was doing.
“No.” He pulled away.
“No?” I raised an eyebrow.
He shook his head. “You wanna kiss me, you do it fucking right.”
His lips crushed down on mine, and before I knew it, he’d reached down, grabbing the back of my thighs and hoisting me up to wrap my legs around his waist. We were frantic, desperate. He shoved his tongue into my mouth, and I felt like he was filling me with much more than a kiss. With hope and with desire and with the ability to see the world a little brighter. He ground the bulge in his cargo pants against my clit, and I let out a muffled moan. We wrestled against Gail’s door as my hands dug into his shirt and traced his glorious six-pack while he, once again, fucked me with our clothes on. I heard Gail from the other side of the door, about to unlock it and open up, before everything went silent, and she let out a yawn.
“Oh.”
“What’s up?” She was talking to someone on speakerphone. Beck?
“Nothing. Jesse and Bane are fucking against my door.”
“Yet the dipshit still ain’t taking my calls.” Yup. Beck. “Can you slip him a note for me?”
“Hard no, Woody.” She called him Woody? How had I not noticed it before? Oh. Right. I’d been too busy trying to get Bane to touch me.
“Think they’re back together?”
“Who knows?” Gail chuckled, her slippered feet descending back to the living room. Roman groaned into my mouth, squeezing my ass tight with one hand while finding his way into the waistband of my jeans with the other. My fingers and toes curled in delight, heat gathering in my belly. He found my clit and toyed with it. Pinched it, flicked it with his thumb, and rubbed it between his two fingers like he was going to light it on fire.
“Missed you.” He stamped my mouth with another searing kiss. Overlapping sensations of complete abandon and odd empowerment zinged through me.
And love. The kind of love that made me feel immortal.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I growled into our kiss, rubbing into his big palm with my groin. “I still hate you.”
“I know,” he said, his mouth filling mine with the fresh taste of rain and cinnamon. We were grinding against each other in a rhythm that belonged to us, no one else’s, in the kind of chemistry you couldn’t fake or stage, like two pieces of an elaborate puzzle that only had one place: right next to each other.
“But I’m here for you, Snowflake. I’ll be sitting on the sidelines cheering for you because you’re the strongest girl I know, but I’ll also be there if you need me. Needing someone wouldn’t make you any less strong, Jesse. It would just make you human.”
I planted one last kiss on his nose before I slid down the door and stood up, his hard-on between us, nearly poking out of his cargo pants, the air saturated with what we’d just done. I took a deep breath, tilting my chin up.
“You gonna leave me like this?” He cupped his junk.
“How else would I leave my enemy?” I asked.
“Spent,” he deadpanned. I shook my head and pushed the door open, hearing him taking a step back behind me.
“I can’t wait to fuck the old Jesse.” He sucked his teeth. “She seems like a fighter.”
“Stay out of my shit, Protsenko.”
But he was already going down the stairs, laughing like a maniac.