CHAPTER VI
HADES
Hades saw Persephone off to work, which felt like sending her into Poseidon’s ocean. She did not even have an office. She worked out of the Coffee House as if she weren’t his fiancée, as if she hadn’t caught the interest and attention of every god and mortal in New Greece. The sharks would circle, and the only thing that gave him any peace was that Antoni escorted her and Zofie would shadow her.
Once she was gone, Hades went in search of Thanatos and the farmer he had brought to the Underworld. Despite his harrowing end, he’d transitioned to Asphodel, settling on the outskirts of the meadow that was used for farmland. Several acres were set aside for wheat and barley, grapevines and vegetables, olive and fig trees. Beyond that was a field speckled with cows and goats. Souls wandered about the land, conducting maintenance, gathering food, and feeding and milking the cattle.
Among them was the new farmer, who sat on a stool milking a dairy cow. He wore what he had died in, a flannel shirt and a pair of overalls.
As they approached, they cast a shadow on the old man, and he paused his milking to turn and look at them.
“Georgios,” said Thanatos. “This is Lord Hades.”
“Lord Hades,” the farmer said, stumbling to his feet and fumbling for his hat. As he swept it off his head, he revealed a layer of wispy hair that barely covered his bald head. “Well, I… What can I do for you?”
Hades was amused by the farmer’s stammering.
“It is nice to meet you, Georgios,” he said. “I trust you are adjusting?”
“Just like home,” the soul said.
It was a lie.
Hades could see it in the squint of his eyes and the way they darkened as he spoke.
“I hope it comes to feel more like it every day,” he replied—a sincere wish he had for all who came to reside in his realm.
“Thank you, my lord,” said the soul with a tip of his head.
“Georgios,” said Hades. “I’ve come to ask about your death.”
The farmer paled. “Well, I don’t really recall—”
“Do not think of that night,” Hades said. “Think of before. Did anyone come around to your house inquiring after the monster you spotted in your field?”
“Well, yes,” Georgios said. “A couple men in nice suits.”
Hades nodded. “What did they look like?”
“I don’t rightly know how to describe them except to say they didn’t belong. That much was evident.”
“Because of how they dressed?”
Georgios shook his head. “It was more than that. They were just different. Different like you.”
“Different like me?” Hades asked. “What does that mean?”
“Godly, I suppose,” Georgios said.
Demigods, perhaps, but Hades wondered who exactly and if they were sent by Theseus.
“And what did they want?”
“Said they were there because they heard I’d seen a monster. I’m not sure how they knew… I’d only told a neighbor, but word gets around in the towns outside Thebes. Anyway, I showed them where it had been. It was easy to spot because the grass was still flattened.”
“What did they say?”
“Nothing. They just left,” Georgios said.
He was quiet for a moment and then seemed to realize why Hades had inquired after the two men and the monster.
“I suppose you think they came back to kill me?”
“We can’t really know for sure…unless you saw them?”
The soul shook his head. “Later that night, I heard a sound outside. I thought that monster had returned, but as I stepped off the porch, I was hit on the head. After that, I remember nothing.”
Hades exchanged a look with Thanatos. When he met Georgios’s gaze again, he offered his hand.
“I’m sorry to have had to bring this up, Georgios.”
The farmer shook his hand. “No need to be sorry,” he said. “Perhaps you will manage to do me justice.”
“I will,” said Hades. “That is a promise.”
Hades and Thanatos left the farmer to continue milking his cow. The two gods walked side by side and did not speak until they were far away from any wandering souls.
“Do you suspect he was killed by demigods?” asked Thanatos.
It sounded like it. An actual god would have concealed their appearance. A mortal would have never been described as godly.
“If they did not pull the trigger, they ordered it,” Hades said, though who had sent them to the farm was the greater question.
If he had to guess, he’d say Theseus, but he also knew it was dangerous to fixate. There were countless demigods who roamed New Greece unchecked, their powers unknown. Any one of them might have heard about the resurrection of the ophiotaurus and decided to track it.
“Whoever they are,” said Thanatos, “I dread the lives they will take.”
“Let us hope they take no more.”
“Fucking female assassins,” Hermes said, appearing a few feet away from Hades and Thanatos. As he approached them, he brushed at his clothes and his arms as if he were dusting himself off. “Well,” he said, meeting Hades’s gaze, “you weren’t wrong about Dionysus.”
Hades’s brows rose, but he was distracted by a reddish mark on Hermes’s skin.
“Did you…get punched?”
“Listen, have you seen maenads fight? They are vicious. I think I’m in love.”
Hades chuckled.
“Sounds like you’ve had an eventful day,” said Thanatos with a smirk.
“Why don’t you tell us about it?” Hades asked, though he knew he would not need to implore the God of Mischief. He had come to perform a drama.
“I was tracking the ophiotaurus. I’d heard rumors that someone had spotted a large snake outside Sparta, which sounded promising, and it was. I found a trail of blood.”
Hades frowned. “How much blood?”
“Not enough to make me think it was struck by a fatal blow, but something definitely hurt it. What, I cannot say, because I was interrupted by three ferocious female…demons!”
Dionysus’s maenads, Hades presumed.
It wasn’t so much a surprise, but Hades wondered if Dionysus did manage to capture the ophiotaurus first, would he tell him?
“And then what?” asked Thanatos.
“I came here,” Hermes said. “You try to escape. They have teeth.”
“Most people have teeth,” said Hades.
“That is not true, Hades. Trust me,” Hermes said, and by the look in his eyes, Hades guessed he’d seen some things. “Anyway, I’d go back, but I’m kind of aroused now, and I don’t think those ladies are interested in a foursome so…”
Hades sighed.
Thanatos let his head fall into his hand.
“Do you have to be so honest, Hermes?” Hades asked.
Hermes grinned. “It’s why you keep me.”
Hades rolled his eyes, considering what they should do next. “Was the blood fresh?” he asked.
“No, though I could not tell how old.”
That was not as promising as he’d thought. Still, he wondered if he could send Zofie on the hunt. She was formidable and an Amazon—she would not get distracted like Hermes, who was, apparently, a masochist.
His only reservation was taking her away from Persephone.
“You know if you really wanted to find this creature, you could ask Artemis,” Hermes suggested.
Hades bristled at her name, despite the fact that what he said was true. There was no greater huntress than the Goddess of the Hunt, but Artemis was not the type to help anyone, save those who worshipped her. If given knowledge of the ophiotaurus, she would likely slay it and burn the entrails herself.
“I’d rather have my dick bitten off,” said Hades.
“Try having it gummed.”
Hades and Thanatos gave Hermes a horrified look.
“I told you not everyone has teeth,” Hermes said with a shrug.
Hades made a mental note to never talk about teeth with Hermes again.
“I’m not asking Artemis to do anything,” Hades said. “She will see it as a way to obtain a favor.”
It was bad enough that he owed one to her brother, Apollo, who still had Persephone wrapped up in a bargain that called her away from Hades’s side whenever the god pleased—a fact that made him bitter.
“Talk to Dionysus,” said Hades. “If his maenads get to the ophiotaurus first, I want to know.”
“You want me to talk to Dionysus?”
Hades raised a brow. “Yes, Hermes. You’re officially his keeper.”
“Do you know if he’s still angry about his fiery balls?”
“I don’t, but you can ask him yourself.”
“Can it wait?” Hermes asked. “I have to get ready for Sybil’s housewarming party, and, by the way, so do you.”
Fuck. He’d forgotten about that.
“What’s a housewarming?” Thanatos asked.
“It is a party where everyone brings wood to light the hearth in a new home,” said Hades.
“Yeah,” said Hermes. He was already taking a step back, preparing to bolt for the Upperworld. “We’ll go with that. Bring plenty of wood.”
“Hermes,” Hades warned. “Talk to Dionysus. Soon.”
“What’s the exact definition of soon?” Hermes asked.
Hades glared.
Hermes grinned. “See you soon, Daddy Death!”
He vanished, and when he was gone, Hades looked at Thanatos, who asked in a very serious tone, “Which one of us do you think he was calling Daddy Death?”