She might not hold him to any promises, but he … He held himself to them.
And he had let this thing between them go on, had used her like some crutch—
Chaol blew out a breath, crumpling Nesryn’s letter and his own in his fist.
Perhaps he had not slept well in that tiny room at the physicians’ compound, accustomed to far larger and finer accommodations, Yrene told herself that afternoon. It would explain his few words. The lack of smiling.
She’d had one on her face when she’d entered Chaol’s suite after lunch. She’d explained her progress to Hafiza, who had been very pleased indeed. Even giving Yrene a kiss on her brow before she left. Practically skipping here.
Until she entered and found it quiet.
Found him quiet.
“Are you feeling well?” Yrene asked casually as she hid the books he’d brought back with him that morning.
“Yes.”
She leaned against the desk to study where Chaol sat on the gold couch.
“You have not exercised in a few days.” She angled her head. “The rest of your body, I mean. We should do it now.”
For people accustomed to physical activity every day, going without for so long could feel like ripping an addict off a drug. Disoriented, restless. He’d kept up the exercises for his legs, but the rest … perhaps it was what clawed at him.
“All right.” His eyes were glazed, distant.
“Here, or one of the guards’ training facilities?” She braced herself for the shutdown.
But Chaol just said flatly, “Here is fine.”
She tried again. “Perhaps being around the other guards will be beneficial to—”
“Here is fine.” Then he moved himself onto the floor, sliding his body away from the couch and low-lying table and to the open carpet. “I need you to brace my feet.”
Yrene checked her irritation at the tone, the outright refusal. But she still said as she knelt before him, “Have we really gone back to that place?”
He ignored her question and launched into a series of upward curls, his powerful body surging up, then down. One, two, three … She lost count around sixty.
He didn’t meet her stare each time he rose up over his bent knees.
It was natural, for the emotional healing to be as difficult as the physical. For there to be hard days—hard weeks, even. But he’d been smiling when she’d left him last night, and—
“Tell me what happened. Something happened today.” Her tone was perhaps not quite as gentle as a healer’s ought to be.
“Nothing happened.” The words were a push of air as he kept moving, sweat sliding down the column of his neck and into the white shirt beneath.
Yrene clenched her jaw, counting quietly in her head. Snapping would do neither of them any good.
Chaol eventually turned onto his stomach and began another set that required her to hold his feet in a position that would keep him slightly aloft.
Up and down, down and up. The sleek muscles of his back and arms bunched and rippled.
He went through six other exercises, then started the entire set again.
Yrene supported and held and watched in simmering silence.
Let him have his space. Let him think through it, if that’s what he wants.
Damn what he wants.
Chaol finished a set, his breathing ragged, chest heaving as he stared up at the ceiling.
Something sharp and driving flickered across his face, as if in silent answer to something. He lurched upward to begin the next set—
“That’s enough.”
His eyes flashed, meeting hers at last.
Yrene didn’t bother looking pleasant or understanding. “You’ll do yourself an injury.”
He glared toward where she had stabilized his bent knees and curled upward again. “I know my limits.”
“And so do I,” she snapped, jerking her chin toward his legs. “You might hurt your back if you keep this up.”
He bared his teeth—the temper vicious enough that she let go of his feet. His arms shot out to brace him as he slid backward, but she lunged, grabbing for his shoulders to keep him from slamming to the ground.
His sweat-drenched shirt soaked into her fingers, his breathing rasping in her ear as she confirmed he wasn’t about to fall. “I’ve got it,” he growled in her ear.
“Forgive me if I don’t take your word for it,” she snipped, assessing for herself that he indeed could support himself before she withdrew and settled herself a few feet away on the carpet.
In silence, they glared at each other. “Exercising your body is vital,” Yrene said, her words clipped, “but you will do more harm than good if you push yourself too hard.”
“I’m fine.”
“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?”
Chaol’s face was a hard mask, sweat sliding down his temple.
“This was your sanctuary,” she said, gesturing to his honed body, the sweat on him. “When things got hard, when they went wrong, when you were upset or angry or sad, you would lose yourself in the training. In sweating until it burned your eyes, in practicing until your muscles were shaking and begging you to stop. And now you can’t—not as you once did.”
Ire boiled in his face at that.
She kept her own face cool and hard as she asked, “How does that make you feel?”
His nostrils flared. “Don’t think you can provoke me into talking.”
“How does it feel, Lord Westfall?”
“You know how it feels, Yrene.”
“Tell me.”
When he refused to answer, she hummed to herself. “Well, since you seem determined to get a complete exercise routine in, I might as well work your legs a bit.”
His stare was a brand. She wondered if he could sense the tightness that now clamped down on her chest, the pit that opened in her stomach as he remained quiet.
But Yrene rose up on her knees and moved down his body, beginning the series of exercises designed to trigger pathways between his mind and spine. The ankle and foot rotations, he could do on his own, though he certainly gritted his teeth after the tenth set.
But Yrene pushed him through it. Ignored his bubbling anger, keeping a saccharine smile on her face while she coaxed his legs through the movements.
It was only when she reached for his upper thighs that Chaol halted her with a hand on her arm.
He met her stare—then looked away, jaw tight, as he said, “I’m tired. It’s late. Let’s meet tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t mind starting now with the healing.” Perhaps with the exercising, those wrecked pathways might be firing up more than usual.
“I want some rest.”
It was a lie. Despite his exercising, he had good color in his face, his eyes were still bright with anger.
She weighed his expression, the request. “Resting doesn’t seem at all like your style.”
His lips tightened. “Get out.”
Yrene snorted at the order. “You may command men and servants, Lord Westfall, but I don’t answer to you.” Still, she uncoiled to her feet, having had quite enough of his attitude. Bracing her hands on her hips, she stared at where he remained sprawled on the carpet. “I’ll have food sent in. Things to help pack on the muscle.”
“I know what to eat.”
Of course he did. He’d been honing that magnificent body for years now. But she only brushed out the skirts of her dress. “Yes, but I’ve actually studied the subject.”
Chaol bristled but said nothing. Returned to staring at the swirls and flora woven into the carpet.
Yrene gave him another honey-sweet smile. “I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow, Lord—”
“Don’t call me that.”
She shrugged. “I think I’ll call you whatever I want.”
His head snapped up, his face livid. She braced herself for the verbal attack, but he seemed to check himself, shoulders stiffening as he only said once more, “Get out.”
He pointed to the door with a long arm as he said so.
“I should kick that gods-damned finger you’re pointing,” Yrene snapped, striding to the door. “But a broken hand would only keep you here longer.”
Chaol again bared his teeth, ire pouring off him in waves now, that scar down his cheek stark against his flushed skin. “Get out.”
Yrene just flashed another sickly sweet smile at him and shut the door behind her.
She strode through the palace at a clip, fingers curling at her sides, reining in her roar.
Patients had bad days. They were entitled to them. It was natural, and a part of the process.
But … they had worked through so much of that. He had started to tell her things, and she’d told him things so few knew, and she’d enjoyed herself yesterday—
She mulled over every word exchanged the night before. Perhaps he’d been angry at something Eretia had said on their ride here. The woman wasn’t known for her bedside manner. Yrene was honestly surprised the woman tolerated anyone, let alone felt inclined to help human beings. She could have upset him. Insulted him.
Or maybe he’d come to depend on Yrene’s constant presence, and the interruption of that routine had been disorienting. She’d heard of patients and their healers in such situations.
But he’d shown no traits of dependency. No, the opposite went through him, a streak of independence and pride that hurt as much as it helped him.
Breathing uneven, his behavior dragging claws down her temper, Yrene sought out Hasar.
The princess was just coming from swordplay lessons of her own. Renia was out shopping in the city, Hasar said as she looped her sweat-damp arm through Yrene’s and led her toward her chambers.
“Everyone is busy-busy-busy today,” Hasar groused, flicking her sweaty braid over a shoulder. “Even Kashin is off with my father at some meeting about his troops.”
“Is there any reason why?” A careful question.
Hasar shrugged. “He didn’t tell me. Though he probably felt inclined to do it, since Sartaq showed us all up by flying off to his nest in the mountains for a few weeks.”
“He left?”
“And he took Captain Faliq with him.” A wry smile. “I’m surprised you aren’t consoling Lord Westfall.”
Oh. Oh. “When did they leave?”
“Yesterday afternoon. Apparently, she said no word about it. Didn’t take her things. Just left a note and vanished into the sunset with him. I didn’t think Sartaq had it in him to be such a charmer.”
Yrene didn’t return the smile. She’d bet good money that Chaol had returned this morning to find that note. To find Nesryn gone.
“How did you learn she’d left a note?”
“Oh, the messenger told everyone. Didn’t know what was inside it, but a note with Lord Westfall’s name on it, left at the aerie. Along with one to her family in the city. The only trace of her.”
Yrene made a mental mark to never send correspondence to the palace again. At least not letters that mattered.
No wonder Chaol had been restless and angry, if Nesryn had vanished like that.
“Do you suspect foul play?”
“From Sartaq?” Hasar cackled. The question was answer enough.