CHAPTER 19
Hawke quickly ushered Tawny and me back inside the castle, while Vikter moved to talk to the Commander.
“Where in the world did that man get a Craven’s hand?” Tawny asked, the skin around her mouth tight as we walked past the Great Hall and under the banners.
“He could’ve been outside the Rise and cut it off one of those who was killed last night,” Hawke answered.
“That’s…” Tawny placed her hand to her chest. “I really have no words for that.”
Neither did I, but the appendage might have been from a cursed who’d turned inside the Rise. I kept that to myself as we passed several servants. “I can’t believe he said what he did about the children—the third and fourth sons and daughters.”
“Neither can I,” Tawny said.
What a terrible thing to claim. Those children, many who were adults by now, were in the Temples, serving the gods. While I didn’t agree with there being no exceptions, insinuating that they were being stolen as if done for nefarious purposes was outrageous. There only needed to be a few words spoken for them to behave like an infection, tainting a person’s mind. I didn’t even want to imagine what the parents of those children were now thinking.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if more people thought along those same lines,” Hawke commented, and both Tawny and my heads swiveled in his direction. He walked beside me, only a step behind. He raised his brows. “None of those children have been seen.”
“They’ve been seen by the Priests and Priestesses and the Ascended,” Tawny corrected.
“But not by family.” His gaze flickered over the statues as we headed toward the stairs. “Perhaps if people could see their children every so often, beliefs like that could easily be dismissed. Fears allayed.”
He had a point, but…
“No one should make claims like that without any evidence,” I argued. “All it does is cause unnecessary worry and panic—panic that the Descenters have created and then will exploit.”
“Agreed.” He glanced down. “Watch your step. Wouldn’t want you to continue with your new habit, Princess.”
“Tripping once isn’t a habit,” I shot back. “And if you agree, then why would you say you wouldn’t be surprised if more felt the same way?”
“Because agreeing doesn’t mean I don’t understand why some would think that,” he answered, and I snapped my mouth shut. “If the Ascended are truly concerned about those claims being believed, all they need to do is allow the children to be seen. I can’t imagine that would interfere too badly with their servitude to the gods.”
No.
I didn’t think that would.
Glancing at Tawny, I saw her staring at Hawke as we strode down the second-floor hall, headed toward the older portion of the castle. “What do you think?” I asked.
Tawny blinked as she looked over at me. “I think you are both saying the same thing.”
A half-grin formed on Hawke’s face, and I didn’t say anything as we climbed up the staircase. Hawke stopped us near Tawny’s door. “If you don’t mind, I need to speak to Penellaphe in private for a moment.”
My brows lifted behind the veil while Tawny sent a poorly concealed glance between us as the corners of her lips tilted up. She then waited for me to signal whether it was fine or not.
“It’s fine,” I told her.
Tawny nodded and then opened her door, stopping long enough to say, “If you need me, knock.” She paused. “Princess.”
I groaned.
Hawke chuckled. “I really do like her.”
“I’m sure she’d love to hear that.”
“Would you love to hear that I really like you?” he asked.
My heart skipped a beat, but I ignored the stupid organ. “Would you be sad if I said no?”
“I’d be devastated.”
I snorted. “I’m sure.” We reached my door. “What did you need to talk about?”
He motioned to the room, and figuring what he had to say was something he didn’t want overheard, I went to open the door—
“I should enter first, Princess.” He easily side-stepped me.
“Why?” I frowned at his back. “Do you think someone could be waiting for me?”
“If the Dark One came for you once, he’ll come for you again.”
A chill danced down my spine as Hawke entered the room. Two oil lamps had been left burning by the door and bed, and wood had been added to the fireplace, casting the room in a soft, warm glow. I didn’t stare too long at the bed, which meant that I somehow ended up staring at Hawke’s broad back as he scanned the room. The edges of his hair brushed the collar of his tunic, and those strands looked so…soft. I hadn’t touched them that night at the Red Pearl, and I wished I had.
I needed help.
“Is it okay for me to enter?” I asked, clasping my hands together. “Or should I wait out here while you inspect under the bed for stray dust bunnies?”
Hawke looked over his shoulder. “It’s not dust bunnies I’m worried about. Steps, on the other hand? Yes.”
“Oh, my gods—”
“And the Dark One will keep coming until he has what he wants,” he said, looking away. I shivered. “Your room should always be checked before you enter it.”
I folded my arms over my chest, chilled despite the fire. I watched as he circled back to the door, quietly closing it.
Hawke faced me, one hand on the hilt of a short sword, and the flipping in my chest doubled. His face was so strikingly pieced together. From the wide set of his lips, the upward slant of his eyebrows, to the shadowy hollows under his high, broad cheekbones, he could’ve been the muse for the paintings that hung in the city’s Atheneum.
“Are you all right?” Hawke asked.
“Yes. Why do you ask?”
“Something appeared to happen to you as the Duke addressed the people.”
I made a mental note to remember exactly how observant Hawke was. “I was…” I started to say that I’d been fine, but I knew he wouldn’t believe that. “I got a little dizzy. I guess I haven’t eaten enough today.”
His intense gaze tracked over what he could see of my face, and even with the veil, I felt unbearably exposed when he looked at me like he did then. “I hate this.”
“Hate what?” I asked, confused.
Hawke didn’t respond immediately. “I hate talking to the veil.”
“Oh.” Understanding rippled through me as I reached up and touched the length that hid my hair. “I imagine most people don’t enjoy it.”
“I can’t imagine you do.”
“I don’t,” I admitted and then glanced around the room as if I expected Priestess Analia to be hiding somewhere. “I mean, I’d prefer if people were able to see me.”
He tilted his head to the side. “What does it feel like?”
Air hitched in my throat. No one…no one had ever asked me that before, and while I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about the veil, I wasn’t sure how to put them into words even though I trusted Hawke.
Some things, once spoken, were given a life of their own.