Dain is so tense, he looks like he might crack in half, but he glances at me and nods.
I do the same.
“Good, now get back in there.” She motions toward the door with her head, and Dain leaves, walking through the shield. “And as for you.” She walks down two steps and pins Xaden with a glare. “Is this what she can expect next year?”
“Aetos being an asshole?” Xaden asks, leaving his hands loose at his sides. “Probably.”
Mira’s eyes narrow. “Mated dragons typically bond riders in the same year for a reason. You cannot expect your assigned wing or her instructors to let you both fly off every three days.”
“Wasn’t my choice.” He shrugs.
“What are we supposed to do? Tell the giant, flame-throwing dragons how it’s going to be?” I ask my sister.
“Yes!” she exclaims, turning toward me. “Because you can’t live this way, Violet. You’ll be the one who ends up missing the training you need, because he’s the more powerful of the two of you right now. But if you don’t get to focus on your training, then that’s how it will always be. You won’t ever become who Tairn can push you to be. Is that what you’re after, Riorson?”
“Mira,” I whisper, shaking my head. “You’re wrong about him.”
“Listen to me.” She grasps my shoulders. “He might wield shadows, Violet, but give him his way, and you’ll become one.”
“That won’t happen,” I promise her.
“It will if he has anything to say about it.” Her gaze flickers behind me. “Killing someone isn’t the only way to destroy them. Keeping you from reaching your potential seems like a great path to the retribution he swore against our mother. Think long and hard. How well do you even really know him?”
I suck in a breath. I trust Xaden. At least, I think I do. But Mira’s right; there are infinite ways to demolish someone without ending their life.
“That’s what I thought.” The look in her eyes turns to something worse than anger. It’s pity. “Do you even know why he hates our mother so much? Why the kids like him are put on the para—”
“I’m right here,” Xaden interrupts, rising to the same step to stand at my side. “In case you didn’t notice.”
“You’re kind of hard to miss,” she retorts.
“You’re not listening.” His voice lowers. “I. Am. Here. Tairn didn’t drag her back to Basgiath. He didn’t break through her shields and pour his emotions into her. He didn’t demand she fly across the fucking kingdom. Your sister is still right here. I’m the one who left my post, my position, and my executive officer in charge of my wing. She’s not missing out on shit.”
“And next year? When you’re a brand-new lieutenant? What shit is she going to miss out on then?” Mira asks.
“We’ll figure it out.” I reach for her hand and squeeze. “Mira, he’s taken every spare minute he has to train me on the mat for challenges or take me flying in hopes I’ll finally figure out how to keep my damned seat without Tairn holding me in place. He’s—”
She flinches. “You can’t keep your seat?”
“No.” It’s barely a whisper, and the heat of embarrassment scorches my skin.
“How the hell can you not?” Her mouth hangs open.
“Because I’m not you!” I shout.
She rears back like I’ve slapped her, our hands breaking apart. “But you…you look so much stronger now.”
“My joints and muscles are stronger because Imogen makes me lift these horrible weights, but that doesn’t…fix me.”
Mira blanches. “No. I didn’t mean it like that, Vi. You’re not anything that needs to be fixed. I just didn’t know you couldn’t hold your seat. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because there’s nothing you can do about it.” I force a wry smile. “There’s nothing anyone can do about the way I’m made.”
A long, uncomfortable silence stretches between us. For as close as we are, there’s still so much we don’t share.
“She’s getting better,” Xaden offers, his voice calm and even. “The first few weeks were…disastrous.”
“Hey, he caught me before I hit the ground,” I argue.
“Barely,” Xaden grumbles before turning back to Mira. “You don’t have to trust me—”
“Good, because I don’t,” she says. “All of that power in the hands of someone with your history is bad enough, but to know your dragons are so tangled up that you can’t be more than three days from Violet is unacceptable in every possible way I can think—” She goes completely still, her eyes un-focusing.
“There’s a drift of gryphons headed this way!” Tairn bellows.
“Fuck! The wards are down,” Mira mutters, apparently receiving the same alarm from Teine. She clutches my shoulders and yanks me into a hug. “You have to go.”
“We can help!” I argue, but she holds me so tightly that I can’t move.
“You can’t. And if Tairn is using his power to keep you seated, then he’s diminished as well. You have to go. Get out of here. If you love me, Violet, you’ll go so I don’t have to worry about you, too.” She releases me, looking to Xaden as our squad pours out of the door above, thundering by as they run down the steps. “Get her out of here.”
“Let’s go!” Dain shouts. “Now!”
“Even if you don’t trust me, I’m the best weapon you have,” Xaden snarls at Mira.
“If what you say is true, then you’re the best weapon she has. The other half of the squad will be here in moments, and Teine thinks we have about twenty minutes until the gryphons arrive.” Mira’s eyes meet mine. “You have to get to safety, Violet. I love you. Don’t die. I’d hate to be an only child.” There’s no cocky grin like when she left me at Basgiath on Conscription Day.
Xaden hauls me against his side as Mira runs up the remaining stairs toward the roof.
This can’t be happening. There’s no way I can flee to safety and leave my sister here, with absolutely zero way of knowing if she’s alive or dead. This feels like the exact sort of thing we’d never hear about in Battle Brief.
No fucking way. Every cell in my body rebels at the thought.
“No!” I fight, but there’s no point. He’s too strong. “Mira! What if you get hurt? Tairn’s speed could be the only thing that saves you. At least let us stay.”
She looks over her shoulder at the doorway, but there’s steel in her expression. “You want me to trust you, Riorson? Get her the fuck out of here and find a way for her to keep her seat. We both know she’s dead if she doesn’t.”
“Mira!” I scream, clawing at Xaden’s arms, but he’s already half carrying me down the stairs with an arm clamped around my waist as if I weigh less than the sword on his back. “I love you!” I call up the turret, but there’s no way of knowing if she heard me.
“Can I trust you to get your own pack?” Xaden asks as he marches down the hallway of the barracks. “Or am I going to have to carry you out of here without whatever you brought?”
“I’ll get it myself.” I shove at him, and he lets me go.
It takes mere minutes to grab my pack and Rhiannon’s, since we’ve left them intact, even cramming in our cloaks. Then I’m back in the hallway where Xaden waits, his own pack slung over his shoulder. It looks considerably smaller than the one he arrived with, and I don’t want to even think about what he’s left behind in order to force me out faster.
I don’t bother looking at him, marching for the door, but he grabs my elbow and spins me around. “Nope. It’s too dangerous to leave the fortress walls. We’re going up.” He wraps his arm around my waist and all but hauls me to the nearest turret. “Climb.”
“This is bullshit!” I yell at him, uncaring that every other member of our squad who’s climbing the same turret can hear. “Tairn could help them!”
“Your sister is right. You have to make it out, so we’re leaving. Now fucking climb.”
“Dain,” I argue, realizing he’s right in front of us.
He turns around and takes Rhiannon’s pack, slinging it over his own shoulder. “For once, Riorson and I agree. It’s not just you we have to get out, Violet. Think of every other first-year.” The plea in his eyes shuts my mouth. “Are you going to sentence an entire untrained squad to death? Because I’ll make it. Cianna, Emery, and Heaton will, too. And we all fucking know Riorson will. But what about Rhiannon? Ridoc? Sawyer? You want their deaths on your hands?” he asks, his words choppy as we race upward toward the open door.
This isn’t about me.
We burst onto the roof as Emery mounts his dragon, who is precariously perched on the thinner-than-quadrant wall.
Oh gods, I’m never going to be able to mount Tairn at this angle.
“Ridoc and Quinn are already in the air,” Liam tells us as Emery launches skyward, where Cath and Deigh hover, their wings beating the air.
“You’re next!” Xaden shouts at Liam, and Dain nods.
Deigh crumbles the masonry with the force of his landing, and Liam takes off down the narrow walkway toward the large Red Daggertail.
“You next, Aetos,” Xaden barks.
“Vi—” Dain starts to argue.
“That’s an order.” There’s no room for argument in that tone, and we all know it, especially when Cath takes Deigh’s place on the wall. “I’ve got her. Go.”
“Go,” I urge. I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to Dain on my account. He may have been an ass the last few months, but that doesn’t negate the years he’s been my best friend.
Dain looks like he’s about to fight but finally nods, turning to Xaden. “I’m trusting you to get her out.”
“There’s a lot of that going around today,” Xaden retorts. “Now get on your dragon so I can get her on hers.”
Dain gives me a long, intense look, then turns and runs, racing up Cath’s foreleg in a way that’s so reminiscent of the Gauntlet that I get flashbacks.
“Where are you?”I ask Tairn, seeing empty skies above us.
“Almost there. I was doing what could be done.”
“I can’t do this,” I say to Xaden, turning in his arms to face him. “The others are gone. Call it the favor you owe me, I don’t care. We can stay. I can’t just leave her here. It’s wrong, and it’s something she’d never do to me. I have to stay for her. I just have to.”
There’s so much compassion, so much understanding in his eyes, that when he lets go of my waist, I think he might just let me stay. Then his hands are on my cheeks, sliding back to cup the base of my neck as he brings his mouth to mine.
The kiss is reckless and consuming, and I give it my all, knowing it might be the last one. His tongue licks into my mouth with an urgency I return, angling to take him deeper.
Gods, it’s not just as good as I’d been fantasizing about, remembering that night. It’s so much better. He was careful with me against that wall, but there is nothing hesitant about the way he lays claim to my mouth, nothing cautious about the ache that pulses low in my stomach. He only breaks the kiss when we’re both panting, then rests his forehead against mine. “Leave for me, Violet.”
“Almost there,” Tairn says.
Xaden’s been stalling to give Tairn and Sgaeyl time to arrive. My heart sinks like a rock, pinning my feet in place. “I will hate you for this.”
“Yeah.” He nods, a flash of pure regret crossing his face as he draws away. “I can live with that.” His hands fall away from my face and reach for my arms, lifting them so I’m shaped like a T. “Arms up. Hold tight.”
“Fuck. You.”
The enormous shape of Tairn appears behind him, and Xaden drops to the stone floor just as Tairn flies directly above, his shadow falling over me a second before his foreclaw scoops me up like he’s done countless times when I’ve fallen midflight.
“You have to take us back!”
“I have done everything I can and will not risk your life.”He climbs in altitude, then throws me up onto his back in a practiced maneuver. “Now, hold on so we can outfly them.”
I look over my shoulder and see Xaden on Sgaeyl, approaching quickly, and farther behind them, hundreds of feet below, a dozen gryphons envelop the keep.